I have a good boyfriend who treats me well and stuff like that. He’s not perfect but neither am I. He always buys me stuff even when I don’t ask him to.
The other day he showed up to my house with cookies because he said he wanted to bake them for me which was rlly nice and he had to be somewhere else so I appreciated it.
On Christmas or my birthday or valentines he’ll give me rlly nice gifts like expensive perfume and purses but I give him nice stuff too like jewelry.
Whenever we go out he’ll always pay and he’s shown up on my doorstep and surprised me with flowers and cookies and stuff.
I’m super grateful and always say thank you but I think he holds it over my head sometimes. I grew up spoiled from my dad but I think mt boyfriend thinks I’m taking advantage of him when he offers to do everything.
Also I took him on a family vacation with my family last week. I still haven’t met his family after almost 2 years. I drive on all of our dates. Frequently he’ll be like “I buy you food and really nice things” which is so annoying because it’s like he holds it against me. For example the other day we went out and he bought me lunch and I took home leftovers and he said “I hope you finished that food because money doesn’t grow on trees” and he was serious lol.
Also I haven’t met his parents and we’ve been dating almost 2 years. I’ve met his mom because she used to work with us but that’s it. He’ll always claim that he “planned” something or for me to meet them and then the day that I’ll be supposed to meet them flies by and he doesn’t say anything. I asked him and he said “I’m not hiding you or anything. They know what you look like”.
I am ambitious and a college student and have been told I’m very pretty lol and my family likes him but thinks I can do better. Is it weird? Also he gets freaked out when I talk about getting married one day and doesn’t wanna talk about it even though I never mentioned marrying him.
The other day he showed up to my house with cookies because he said he wanted to bake them for me which was rlly nice and he had to be somewhere else so I appreciated it.
On Christmas or my birthday or valentines he’ll give me rlly nice gifts like expensive perfume and purses but I give him nice stuff too like jewelry.
Whenever we go out he’ll always pay and he’s shown up on my doorstep and surprised me with flowers and cookies and stuff.
I’m super grateful and always say thank you but I think he holds it over my head sometimes. I grew up spoiled from my dad but I think mt boyfriend thinks I’m taking advantage of him when he offers to do everything.
Also I took him on a family vacation with my family last week. I still haven’t met his family after almost 2 years. I drive on all of our dates. Frequently he’ll be like “I buy you food and really nice things” which is so annoying because it’s like he holds it against me. For example the other day we went out and he bought me lunch and I took home leftovers and he said “I hope you finished that food because money doesn’t grow on trees” and he was serious lol.
Also I haven’t met his parents and we’ve been dating almost 2 years. I’ve met his mom because she used to work with us but that’s it. He’ll always claim that he “planned” something or for me to meet them and then the day that I’ll be supposed to meet them flies by and he doesn’t say anything. I asked him and he said “I’m not hiding you or anything. They know what you look like”.
I am ambitious and a college student and have been told I’m very pretty lol and my family likes him but thinks I can do better. Is it weird? Also he gets freaked out when I talk about getting married one day and doesn’t wanna talk about it even though I never mentioned marrying him.
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I see some things there that I think are concerning. It seems very odd that he seems to be avoiding introducing you to his family. I could understand that if he thinks his family is weird he might be embarrassed for you to see them, but you mentioned in another response that he's close to his family so I think that's probably not what's going on there.
Also, unless you're accusing him of not doing anything for you, it seems strange to me that he points out that he's buying you a lot of stuff.
Based on what you've described, it seems to me that he might be thinking that buying you a lot of things compensates for him not doing other things that are common in a serous relationship.
And if you'd like to get married someday and the idea of marriage totally freaks him out, I don't think that bodes well either. I can understand if he doesn't feel ready yet, but not even being willing to talk about it is a bad sign.
To be perfectly honest, I don't think he sounds like a good match for you. I think you'd prefer someone that you can have open conversations with and that will share various responsibilities in a relationship and he seems like someone that wants to buy you a lot of things but not do other things necessary for a good relationship. My guess is that in time you'll get (justifiably) frustrated with that. So I agree with your family that you can likely do better.
Meeting the family… maybe he’s not that close to them? As far as holding it over your head are you ordering the most expensive thing on the menu? I use to know a girl that wouldn’t look at food on the menu she’d go look at price for most expensive and order that whether she liked it or not… then complain about not liking it… I never understood that… try to be mindful but maybe even offer to pay for meal every so often… just so he doesn’t feel all the pressure… some guys are good at putting on a face but I can imagine dating world can get pricey after a while…
I mean he’s very close to them. They all live together. I can’t help but think it’s a red flag. And no I do not take advantage of him like that. I’m not that kind of girl and I was raised with money so I don’t have to. And I do offer sometimes but he insists
Well that’s good… maybe just tell him if the relationship is going to continue you want to meet his family… let him know how his comments come across… some men are so oblivious that they don’t realize how things they are doing are being perceived you just have to be direct and to the point…
Tried talking to him, otherwise this shit will repeat in the next relationship.