Should a promise be kept regardless?

[Anonymous]

few months ago my (now-) ex came into some money from an investment he'd made years ago - the company was being sold and they offered him a LOT for his shares - I'm talking enough money to buy a house outright and have an investment account. He promised with this he would buy me a car - not a brand new one, but a decent, reliable used car, because I have no car at the moment. In any case, we've since broken up over a few issues, and I asked him about the car and he laughed at me and said that it was for his girlfriend, not an ex, but I say a promise is a promise and he should follwo through especially as he can easily afford it

[Anonymous]

You have no leg to stand on here. This was not a legal business transaction in which he legally promised you a car. There is no paper trail, and no judge, if this actually went to trial would grant you said car if it was a promise he made to you with the assumption that you were his partner UNLESS he signed some paperwork. It's no different than your partner saying, "I promise to marry you," and then you break up. Promise becomes null and void because you are no longer together. Just because someone can easily afford something, doesn't mean they have to spend it on you especially since again...and this is the most important part...you are no longer together. Put yourself in this situation on the other end of it, and literally consider the inappropriateness of your current partner giving money, and gifts to his ex! How disrespected would you feel? You need to detach yourself from whatever you think you still have with him, and move forward and figure out a way to buy your own car.

[Chazmatazz269]

This isn’t entirely true. A woman in Oregon sued her ex for a child and subsequent child support based on a “promise” he made to her about having a family when they were together. She won. The man had to donate sperm until she got pregnant and then was on the hook for all the costs of conception, childbirth, and eventually child support.

[Opinion Owner]

@Chazmatazz269 What are the details of the case? And one case somewhere that one time, doesn't apply to this...unless, we are talking legal paperwork.

[Chazmatazz269]

It does apply. You made a statement using an absolute. You are wrong. If you really cared about the facts, you’d already know that. You don’t. Which is likely why you posted anonymously. I’m not contradicting you for your benefit. I’m adding facts that contradict your outright false assertion so that rational people who scroll through your nonsense can consider that this perfect world of justice and order you claim doesn’t exist. Judges make radical decisions all the time. Just because it defies the narrative you selected doesn’t change that reality.

[Anonymous]

Nope. For one, you aren’t his girlfriend anymore and two, if you don’t have that promise in writing on a contract or something then that promise is not binding. Get your hand out of his pocket and buy your own car. No handouts.

[Sevenpointfive]

i had a female friend who was dating a guy. they only had her car through the relationship until it ended. they sold her car and bought a new one which he kept when it ended. i lost all respect for the guy that made a good amount of money at the end of that relationship. i couldn't be his friend in the aftermath.

[JacobJordan]

there is a saying. "don't write checks with your mouth that your ass can't cash" it is a bit vulgar but the meaning is quite simple. Don't make promises if you can't or won't keep them

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of post-breakup promises, especially when it comes to significant gifts like cars, can be like trying to dance the tango solo—complicated, emotionally charged, and a bit awkward. While lovebombing you with promises of cars and better days is all fun and games when in love, the tune changes faster than a heartbreak when things go south. In an ideal world, yes, a promise should be kept, but when it comes to ex-lovers, the rules of the game often transform more dramatically than a plot twist in a romantic novel.

Consider this: promises made under the canopy of love often come with invisible strings attached to feelings, expectations, and, let's be honest, the relationship's status. Once the relationship status changes, so do the obligations tied to those promises, especially if they weren't formalized in some type of agreement. It's a tough pill to swallow, but chasing a promise from someone who has emotionally checked out and moved on might be like waiting for a ship at the airport—futile and a tad heart-wrenching.

So, put your best stilettos on, darling. This might be the universe's way of nudging you to independence, where the only person you need to rely on for grand gestures is yourself. Plus, when you drive off in a car you got without any strings attached, it'll be a ride filled with self-respect and empowerment, and let me tell you, that feels way better than any second-hand promise.

[ChicanaChick]

Unless you have a contract or some type of legal document, nope you're getting absolutely NOTHING as an ex girlfriend. Why don't you buy your own car instead of relying on a boyfriend?

His verbal promise was only on the condition of you being his girlfriend but since you're not his girlfriend anymore, you get nothing.

[RingOfFire]

No I do not think you are entitled to the car. And I think it is immature for you to expect it. You are no longer in a relationship with him and you need to find a way to pay for your own things or find another sugar daddy to pay for it for you. You are not his financial responsibility.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I disagree, you're entitled to nothing. He doesn't owe you anything nor do you deserve what was not yours and was clearly a very conditional offer.

I honestly would keep a promise like that. I also don't promise or swear things often because I learned to always respect people that behave that way instead of giving out promises just because.

That's just me though most people just say I promise about anything and don't even think twice.

[msc545]

It doesn't matter that he promised you. What matters is that you are now an ex and he has other priorities including what to do with his money. He doesn't owe you anything. You might want to go out and make your own money by getting a job and then buy your own car. You are an adult and nobody owes you a living.

[boggboss]

Lol nope that would be ridiculous the promise was within the relms of your relationship that's like him promising to marry you then u break up and still expecting a wedding

[admles]

That promise was for his girlfriend.

You are no longer his girlfriend.

Thus, no car for you.

[Billlewis]

• Any time a commitment regarding money and a woman is being debated it's an open and shut case, in my opinion, because they're supposed to be the recipients of our labor. Give her the money.

[AngryCarl]

"they're supposed to be the recipients of our labor." - Only for as long as they put out, dude.

[standardguy]

Well, sorry, I think he is right. One thing is pro. ising something to my girlfriend or spouse and another thing to a person which terminated with me or I with her.
If they divorce many also want their gifts back. its a new situation

[Kit_Kat88]

You should’ve waited to break up until you got the car.

[Kit_Kat88]

Hold him up to it instead of waiting

[Kit_Kat88]

When he offered to buy you the car you should’ve said to buy it that next week. Don’t wait because if it ends then you get nothing

[Billlewis]

@Kit_Kat88 Why can't I date a woman like you, who doesn't miss, when she gets busy.. 😘

[Asker]

He broke up with me :(

[Kit_Kat88]

That’s why when they offer to get you something you got to hold them up to it immediately. I think if your next boyfriend offers to buy you car you should say thank you we can buy it next week because I need it

[msc545]

This is exactly the sort of response that makes men really distrust women.

[slatyb]

That was a promise contingent on being in a relationship.

[DishLady]

Is that the running gold digger protocol? Honestly... get your own car.

[AngryCarl]

Nah, I think if you broke up all bets are off.

[LiZiqiLiZiqi]

Yes, you should keep your promise no matter what. For me, integrity is the most important thing.

[Loner111]

Yes, of course