There are classic promises like "I'll never leave you" and there are casual promises like "I'll unfollow (insert guy/girl name)"
But most of those fall flat, could be because of how unrealistic they are and could be because of the person simply breaking the promise... which begs the question, does it even matter if someone promised something IN a relationship
Should promises be taken seriously in relationships?
You have no idea what the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune will dump on your life.
There are some people, a lucky few, who do love each other forever. They're rare.
Anyone who CLAIMS they'll love you forever, or will always be there for you, or no one will ever love you like they will... these are statements that require the test of time. In most cases, people mean what they say, but it's unrealistic to make sweeping statements like FOREVER, and ALWAYS.
Situations change as people do. I think I'll love my son always, but if he takes out a machine gun and kills 15 people in a grocery store, won't that color my relationship to him? Of course, this is a drastic example, but other things change between people. You hope for the best, and keep promises to a minimum, if not at all.
@Djaay It might be noble, but not always doable. I can understand how people can renege after being badly hurt.
And you have to protect yourself and your heart. If someone repeatedly hurts you and shows no care for you, why should you keep any promise you made to them? Can you love them forever if they're abusive? Why should you. Wish them well and remove them from your life and. your heart. There are so many others worth your concern, time and love.
I consider it sort of a contract to make a promise. It should be transactional in nature e. g. "I won't sleep with other people if you don't sleep with other people." If the contract is broken it is known as cheating. Basically not playing by the agreed-upon rules is cheating... just like in a game of tag or poker.
I think a promise should be taken seriously, but I also think you shouldn't bind yourself to unreasonable expectations or expectations created under threat. Also I think it's important to be able to judge if you're just getting lip service. Like I see a lot of chicks use sex with them as a bargaining chip and then they wonder why they got all those grandiose promises and then get dropped like a bad habit. It's like they don't understand their value, or what they have to offer, if it is just one thing, it's over after you've given it up.
I could ramble on forever on the subject so I'll just stop now.
Only the foolish ones take such promises to heart and end up hurt. I was one of those people. Even though within me, I've always did somewhat take them with a grain of salt, but then again, hope got the better of me.
Anyway, promises are made when things are all honeys and bees. How many relatiosnhips have been there where promises were made and the relationships failing nonetheless? Countless. This is why I focus on my actiosn rather than make promises. I now never make any promises. I simply let my actions speak directly for me.
Broken promises are dealbreakers for me. If I say something, In 100% mean it and I will do it. If I cannot or things happen that prevent me from fulfilling a promise I will not just leave a person wondering. I will explain and/or find a solution.
It may be an unrealistic standard to hold people to but it's the standard I hold myself to.
Important people broke promises to me when I was very young so it something particularly triggering and I cannot tolerate it at all.
If I want you in my life however, I will give you a chance by (figuratively) putting your feet to the flames. I will read you the riot act about it, basically. Small or big. I. Don't. Care.
Doesn’t really matter if they should or not. They will be. Women LOVE when men lie to them, as long as it’s an approved lie. Your example “I’ll never leave you” is perfect. TRY and woo a woman with nothing but the truth. It won’t happen. It never has and it never will. Women don’t really have to make promises, so they usually don’t. They know most dudes don’t know their own worth and they won’t expect a woman to say what she means and mean what she says. So in the end, even if a woman made any promises to a man, they won’t be held accountable. Only men are expected to make promises and live up to them, however unrealistic they may have been. It’s called “romance”. Ell oh ell!
This question hit me— reminds me of my last relationship. I’ve made promises like that. I meant them. He started abusing alcohol and everything became chaotic. I still meant those promises. I just couldn’t safely keep it anymore. I want someone to give those promises to and mean them completely.
Of course. And promises like I'll never leave you should be taken in context. I mean people change. Who you with WIL NOT be the same person 10 years. From now. That's why it's oh so important for couples to stay close. So they grow together rather than apart. You can mean "I will never leave you. But him/her might not be him/her anymore 10 years later".
Of course 😭 but come on you have to be reasonable because how many times have we actually kept our promises? And even though we know it might be broken we still ask " promise?" They say a promise is a comfort to a fool and sometimes we need comfort. So I won't stop asking " promise?" because I'm going to forget anyways😂 ( If you promise about food or doing something physical you better keep that shit). It depends on your partners view as well
promises are just words that is why actions are what counts and always will the phrase that actions speak louder than words one of the few phrases the really mean something and factual
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