How this guy I love keeps running away from a relationship, but won't let me go?

Anonymous

We have found ourselves in a circle of problems and commitment issues so many times. I feel that he wants me be can't be in a relationship. I couldn't understand that in the last 2 years of being together. I kept running away from him because I was afraid of getting hurt, but he wouldn't let me go, and every time he promised he would try to change things between us because he was aware of the things he was doing, the issue is that I know that everyone would say he doesn't love me or want anything serious with me, but I have never felt something so strong inside of me telling me he does love me but something is standing in between. He was always beside me when I needed him, he always made sure we keep talking and fix our problems, it is that feeling you get from someone you know that won't hurt you. I was so confused and I told myself that if he loved he'd say so and will take the relationship seriously, and I started making problems and ending everything with him every chance that I get by blocking him. I have convinced myself it is for the best to stay away from him even though I have never forgotten about him, and he was the first to reach out after several breakups I caused just because I thought he wasn't committing enough. we would argue 5 times a month because I am thinking he doesn't love me and I want to run away from him. A few days ago we had to argue again (a toxic one I know) he finally spoke and told me that he was trying to have a normal relationship but every time I cause an argument he steps back thinking he is not right for a relationship and we''ll end up being hurt if we have something too serious and it ends because of a small problem. that is why he was afraid at the first place. he committed he felt just the way I did, and how much he is not ready to lose me. I understand that I might be so demanding or that I let go of him easily but I do Love him. what shall I do?

How this guy I love keeps running away from a relationship, but won't let me go?
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