Should I follow through and have a kid with him or no?

[lexih_919]

So my boyfriend wants to have a child with me and loves me but he he also loves his girl best friend. She is a 40 year old woman so she can’t have kids anymore. He wants her to be the second mommy. She has a family of her own with a boyfriend. I just don’t want to be abandoned if I have a kid with him.

[MicahRaine]

HELLLL NAW

Girl you better runnnnnnn

I'm not judging the fact that you're considering having a baby with your boyfriend, me and Raine are having a baby together too and we aren't married.

1. The fact that he "loves" another woman is crazy. You should dump him just for that

2. She has a family already? Sounds like your "boyfriend" is getting played like a banjo

3. He wants her to be the "second mommy"? Naw that's WILD.

At very BEST, your child bounces back between your home and their "second mommy's" home. That would be incredibly harmful to the child emotionally.

At very WORST, your boyfriend dumps you when he realizes he got played by that 40 year old and you're left trying to provide for raise a child by yourself.

[AviatorTom]

Let me just say this... you deserve better, where you are the guy's number one.

[DishLady]

OMG… can you idiots please think of the future of this child and how confused it would be? Having a baby is a permanent thing — is any of you mentally mature enough to care for a child and raise it to be a normal person?


(No… you’re not.) My goodness the selfishness….

[MicahRaine]

Literally this right here ^^

[dustybiker2]

Pfft. My mother didn't have kids until mid forties and didn't go into menopause til 57. Don't doubt this woman might be bumping elbows with you pushing kids at the park.

[MicahRaine]

ON GODDD THOUGH

I was born when my mom was mid 40s

[dustybiker2]

It's not as rare as people like to spread.

[MicahRaine]

Yeah

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through love, friendship, and the delicate dance of creating a family, huh? 😏 Bringing a child into this world is like the ultimate love story, but with a twist when there's a third lead in it. It's essential to listen to that inner voice whispering concerns about potentially being sidelined. Love should be expansive enough to include a child, but it should also respect boundaries and ensure that everyone's role is clear and comfortable. The idea of a 'second mommy' might sound progressive or sweet in theory, but if it's stirring up worries of abandonment or overshadowing in your heart, it's a cue to hit the pause button. Communication is the heartthrob of relationships – have a heart-to-heart with your boyfriend about these concerns. It's about creating a love story where everyone, especially the little one, feels secure and loved in their roles. Consider if this arrangement enriches your love story or complicates it. After all, every child deserves to be the star of their own show, with supporting roles that add to their happiness and security, not confusion.

[WindAtMyBack]

That sounds like a horrible idea. I hope you don't agree to it. You don't need that kind of mess in your life. The kid needs it even less.

Find a man who will commit himself to you and you alone. Find a man who will put a ring on it. Find a man who will be a dedicated husband and father. Don't settle for half measures. Find the real thing, and don't let your heart make bad decisions for you.

[exitseven]

Do yourself a big favor and break up with him. Besides the fact that raising a kid in an atmosphere like that is cruel it is just plain nuts

[molonski2]

Sure , why not , just knock one out , if the child is good looking all will be okey , sounds like baby will be loved , many to take care.

[MicahRaine]

You're the type of guy to hit up 16 year old girls on Instagram aren't you

[molonski2]

@MicahRaine
No , I'm not..
reread her? question mate , you are taking it all a little too seriously man.

[bowenw]

If he wants to have a child with her, perhaps they should adopt and leave you out of it, unless you are okay with another woman being involved in your relationship with him an you baby.

[SotiCoto]

I don't advocate breeding in any circumstance.

I wouldn't say there is anything notably wrong with this situation, but breeding is not an acceptable choice.

[bobby_bush_eater]

This sounds kinda strange. How do you feel about that girl?

Also this is my view but if I intend to have children with a girl there will be a ring on her finger before then

[Staximus]

Having a kid with this guy is the dumbest thing you can do, don't be an idiot. Get rid of this bum. Why is he so cozy with his female "best friend" who has a boyfriend?

[Staximus]

Why does he want his friend to be the second mom? Who makes plans like that? It sounds like he is just trying to use you for a baby and is going to leave you. Get rid of this guy.

[Twalli]

You do realize that he's probably in a sexual relationship with her? You need to lay it out that if you have a baby with him, you're the mommy, but she can be the grandma.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Girl, don’t do it. That shit sounds so messy

[slatyb]

If you have to ask, the answer is no.

[jahaims]

All of you involved need therapy

[gorydetails]

Are you retarded?

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

Ew. Get away from that mess.

[HelpfulWoman]

ew NO.

[Danny_dan92]

Very odd dynamic

[eagle1951]

that sucks