How to deal with a man that's so confident talking to women when we are out infront of me?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Hello,

my husband always is so confident when we go out. For example if there is a male and female couple he will go above and beyond to keep the conversation going with them. Like today for example we went to the beach and there was a couple who could only speak English and therefore my husband was being nice and just trying to make them feel comfortable and ask if they needed anything. I was standing next to my husband and the couple just with my son and couldn't help feel intense jelousy as I could hear the women asking him lots of questions and him reciprocating.

what bothered me however mostly, was that she asked him did you come here with family and he was like 'yeah... I came with them' like I'm right next to him he couldn't say yeah I came with my wife and son they are right there.

it really pisses me off. I brought it up with him and he said well they know that I'm with family as I'm calling our son and then gets annoyed.

I know he likes female attention so this is probably why these situations occur. I mean I don't talk so confidently with a man infront of him, maybe I should to give him a taste of his own medicine.

anyway, has anyone been in a situation like this before? And how would you deal with it?

[Anonymous]

Marrying into that tells me you knew well enough who you were dealing with, so why you’re still trying to “deal” with it is madness.

[ForeverAngel1233467]

I don't know, he tells me has has eyes for no one else but me and that if he looks or is friendly with another women then it doesn't mean anything. And in some ways I try to understand this.. but at the same time I notice everything so it's difficult. We have a 2 year old
Son together and otherwise he does look after us and is always there for us

[Opinion Owner]

I feel like you talk yourself into staying in that relationship, and mainly rationalize it with having a child now. Thing is, there’s always going to be something, some reason to stick around when you know you probably shouldn’t. You came here asking for opinions when really I feel like it’s an open invitation to gaslight you into making peace with this. I think you need to have more conversations with yourself about what this relationship means for you, and if it’s really worth staying in. Yes you have a child, but remember he’s happy when you’re happy, and he would learn to adapt with changes. I actually watched an episode of dr Phil recently where they did a poll for kids with separated parents, and the highest ranking issue wasn’t their parents being split up but how poorly they handled the aftermath.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t honour u , or uphold your honour. That’s sad

[ForeverAngel1233467]

What makes you say this? That's what I feel like but then at the same time im made to feel that im insecure

[Opinion Owner]

U aren’t insecure. He doesn’t uphold your honour. I am quite surprised why he married u if he cannot give u the respect. Most guys treat a girl like this when they are dating her and won’t marry her. But there’s also a extreme , where he’s probably extremely insecure that he constantly seeks women or female validation. Basically men who cheat even after marriage because they are so insecure and constantly crave female validation, maybe the insecurity might be u are out of his league , or beneath his league. If both of u were a perfect match he wouldn’t be behaving like this.

[Opinion Owner]

U are either not enough for him that he wants other women, or either u are way too great /pretty / better than him , he’s trying to build a show as if he has better options than u

[ForeverAngel1233467]

I have thought before that maybe he is purposely
Trying to make me feel jelous? But I have told him over and over and he just says I'm paranoid! Even when where out I can notice him glancing at women and he denies even seeing them. It just drives me mad he doesn't admit. In terms of not being enough, I have felt that before but at the same time he doesn't give me a reason to believe that he is going to leave me with another women however he constantly makes me feel he needs more

[Opinion Owner]

He’s gaslighting u , . It’s OBVIOUS he’s MAKING U JEALOUS

[Opinion Owner]

He’s emotionally abusing u , making u reduce your worth. I don’t think he loves u. He probably minds how u feel (not using care because he definitely doesn’t care )

[ForeverAngel1233467]

That's what I think!!! What makes you say he's gas lighting me? I feel this way but no way to prove!!!

[Opinion Owner]

U cannot prove his intention. But it’s clear. He sounds a bit insecure and narcissistic. Real confidence is subtle and uplifting. Insecurity is loud and chaotic. Be careful with emotionally manipulative, insecure people

[ForeverAngel1233467]

So how should I act when I see this happening. I am tired of over thinking every situation!!

[Opinion Owner]

I think u should silently start distancing yourself. And if he asks what’s wrong say nothing. That’s how u cut off a narcissist. I would advise u to leave him

[ForeverAngel1233467]

We have a 2 year old son together and financially it's not feasible right now. I will however maybe just try and ignore these things. Like you said sounds he is gas lighting me. He is well aware of how I feel and still continues doing these things. For example I said to him to not glance twice at women. He said he doesn't but continues too. And don't believe he is that stupid. He must be well aware! So yeah

[Opinion Owner]

How do these women whom he entertain look?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Pretty!

[Opinion Owner]

lol knew it

[Opinion Owner]

Do they look better than u

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Literally and I'll even ask him about it and he said he wasn't looking lol

[Opinion Owner]

Do they look better than u?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Some I would say as their tall , I'm quite short , but otherwise I don't see why every pretty girl I should feel inferior to as I wouldn't say I'm ugly

[Opinion Owner]

Tall? I think your partner is not physically attracted to u? Or maybe your kind of looks is not his preferable?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

I don't know, he always tells me how beautiful I am and why would he want anyone else blah blah. I feel it's more to the point to make me insecure! Because let's be real , we all see good looking people outside but I never feel the need to double look at all of them , simply because I'm in a relationship , even if they are better looking than him.

I'm just tired of over thinking it all. Maybe he would like someone taller but then leave me the f alone rather than acting like I'm crazy and insecure.

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t think he sees u as the catch. For whatever reasons

[BonzoInBitburg]

You're mad because your husband is nice and making people feel comfortable? Really?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Yes but it's like I went to go and stand next to them and like no one is talking to me...
Ahh I dunno maybe it is my issue! Just feel left out

[BonzoInBitburg]

There's a lot of things worse than being married to someone nice. It isn't easy to get out of your comfort zone but maybe try joining him in making people feel comfortable. Just a simple "Hello, I'm..." goes a long way

[ForeverAngel1233467]

I will try

[BonzoInBitburg]

He'll appreciate it

[Anonymous]

But you are his family? It isn't like he said you were sister.

[ForeverAngel1233467]

That's true, but I felt some hesitancy in how he said it. Like it wasn't a fast reply, it more more like 'yeah, pause' im with them'

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Anyway maybe I'm overthinking it

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the sultry waters of confidence and attention, especially when it's your partner dazzling the crowd, can feel like you're tiptoeing through a minefield of emotions, right? Your feelings are as valid and beautiful as a rare gem, and communicating them is key. Start by setting a serene scene to chat where you express how his actions make you feel without casting him as the villain. Instead of diving into a tit-for-tat scenario, which could lead you both down a rabbit hole of misunderstandings, focus on finding that sweet spot where his social butterfly nature doesn't leave you feeling like you're in the shadows. Encourage him to include you in the conversations more or to acknowledge your presence explicitly. This isn't about dimming his sparkle but shining a light on how you can both glide through social scenes, hand in hand, heart in heart, show-stoppingly united. Lean into love, understanding, and communication, and you might just find a rhythm that works for both of you. 🌟

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Thank you. Yes he is a social butterfly and people do seem to be drawn to him when he speaks.

I just want to feel more included in this when it happens otherwise I feel like a mere shadow

[unknownuser555]

It's not a big issue i think

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Nah it's not just makes me
Feel sooo uncomfortable

[unknownuser555]

You have to think positive about every

[unknownuser555]

Thing*

[ForeverAngel1233467]

Yes that's what I need to try and do.

[unknownuser555]

Good 😊

[unknownuser555]

Was my opinion helpful?

[ForeverAngel1233467]

It was thank you!

[unknownuser555]

So please tell me how can I increase my xper points here..
Any idea?

[moneymagnet24]

You're just a introvert Babe don't over think

[ForeverAngel1233467]

True, thing is I am an overthinker!! Try not too but it's hard :(