Does the man of the house eat first?

Question

I see this question blow up while scrolling through Facebook. While I'm sure it's been asked here already at some point, I'm just gonna do it again!

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not exactly traditional. However I do hold to some forms of it. In this particular case, serving the man (men) of the house first.

It stems mainly from my mom's side of the family, which is Czech. As long as I've been around, every time I visit family or family visits us, we serve the men first. My mom would serve my dad before ANYONE else as he was the provider while my mom was a homemaker until my little brother was 8.

In my own home, I make sure my boyfriend is served first. If my parents are visiting, my boyfriend and father get their plates first. And it's usually my mom and I doing the serving.

I do work full time, as does he. I'm well aware that he's a grown ass man and is more than capable of doing it himself, and he does on occasion.

It is my own choice to serve him his food before my own, and frankly it makes me feel a small sense of accomplishment and content.

At his parent's house, I help his mom in the kitchen and help her serve the food. It's just me.

Where do you all sit on the matter?

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

traditionally... and from way back, we just don't give a damn...

my father was a provider as well, but so was my mother... and they've been the same always, they make first sure we all eat (three siblings, all brothers) and then they would get their food served, and who served didn't matter, if they would get their own, didn't matter... even we would get our own ourselves or serve others, did not matter

about seats, we didn't care either... I guess that's because rather than all of us having "9 to 5 jobs and routines" my parents were in businesses, always, so schedules were not always set in stone, so there was no guarantee we would all be at the same table same time, for breakfast, dinner or lunch... so, waiting for others to arrive or waiting for "your turn" made no sense whatsoever... and for the same reasons, both my parents would cook, any of us brothers could cook too (yes, even as kids around 10 to 14, we were all cooking or grilling too)

cleaning up and doing dishes was similar... whoever was around and felt like it, as long as they were done... it didn't matter

Part2603 · Accepted Answer

Serving order is inconsequential, since we all start eating together. Also, if I'm hungry, I'll just steal directly from the pan like a Seagull.

Dinklex3 · Accepted Answer

Mmm.. I don’t have any strong thoughts about it.

My parents are both retired now. When I’m home my mom serves my dad, then me, then herself. My dad waits for us to have our food. If my mom is busy, I serve my dad his food and make a plate for my mom. Get my dad his beer and my mom a drink too.
When I cook for my boyfriend I always serve him his plate first as well… But I always serve myself last, regardless of the company, male or female, no matter whose house I’m at.

In my head my dad and my boyfriend love food, are more hungry, and eat a lot. So I just want them to have their food first.

My thoughts aren’t “he’s a man so he should eat first” it’s more like “I love this person, let me hurry up and get their plate out”.

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

Well it's not something compulsory in my house but as u said I noticed we also start with men usually but it's not always the case though... n it's not as such a rule or something...

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah kids should always start eating first cuz they take the longest to eat

AviatorTom · Answer

My wife and I usually eat at the same time, unless one of us is going somewhere.

When I was growing up, many years ago, my mother did serve my father first, but we all waited until everyone had their food before eating.

MrOracle · Answer

Both my girlfriend and I are pretty traditional overall, but on this issue, it varies. If she's cooking a complete meal, she'll often serve me up a plate. If we're cooking together, or if I'm cooking, then I usually make my own plate. On family holidays, we're at my family's house because her family is in the Philippines rather than a couple of miles away, and she usually helps out with the cooking, and likes to make my plate. Serving the men first is a tradition in the Philippines, and to an extent in my mixed family (white/European and Mexican).

I appreciate it, but it's definitely not something I insist on or anything, and as I said, I do a good amount of cooking when we're together and I usually make my own plate (and sometimes hers too) when I cook or when we cook together.

My girlfriend is very used to gender roles, and she certainly expects me to do "men's work", but just as equally doesn't like me doing "women's work," except for cooking. She will sometimes come over and run a load of laundry, or wash the sheets, or run and unload the dishwasher or whatever, even though I've done those things myself for decades. I've never asked her to do this, she just does it to show her appreciation for the things I do for her. Not having grown up with Feminism screaming at her her whole life, this is just normal for her that there is "men's work" and "women's work." She's certainly not going to maintain her car herself, nor did she redecorate her bedroom after living there for 6 years until I did it for her (the labor/tools part, anyway), so she doesn't see why washing some dishes (mostly: loading into the dishwasher) or doing a load of laundry should be any problem.

hahahmm · Answer

In my family, yes, the man is served first. Usually he eats first but not if he isn't hungry and others are (!). That said... I do not believe a woman is obligated to do this stuff for a boyfriend. For a husband or fiance, it makes sense.

These kinds of traditions (like who sits where at a table) were not on my mind at all when I was only a boyfriend and when I didn't own a home. Once I moved into my own castle, suddenly I remembered more of the traditions related to this sort of thing that my parents kept and they mattered more. And of course, my wife does it out of respect NOT because she was ever forced to or told to.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Eats first or gets served first? I remember from my grandparents that the guests - if present - get served first, then my grandfather, then the others. But everybody waited, so all could start eating at the same time.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

I liked the way my grandparents practiced it.

The plates were prepared/filled in no particular order. Grandpa then would ''open'' the meal with ''Guten Appetit'' (s'thing like 'enjoy the meal') and we would begin everyone at the same time.

mandyfire98 · Answer

It's definitely first come first serve with my family growing up. My dad wasn't the first served and he served himself like we all did.

Kaylei2006 · Answer

I'm 5 11' and have to do all the decisions & complaining with my girls friends!

I watch Just pearly things on Youtube and my friend say I'm a bit odd, lol - Yes he should, I don't like making decisions & leaving up to my friends would end up getting us dead< lol

MisterWack · Answer

If I were married, I would strongly suggest that we eat together and talk about our day to each other. It would be like a “date night” every night. Just my opinion.

Also if she couldn’t wait for me to get home from work due to appetite, I would say it is fine as long as she has a small snack while I eat so we can still talk about our days in a “date night” setting. Very romantic in my view.

GeminiDiamond · Answer

I set the food on the table for big meals, like family and friend gatherings, so everyone can make their own plate. If I'm cooking, ill serve my daughter and husband first, then make my own. If my husband cooks, he serves his ladies first, then eats.

SotiCoto · Answer

I'm not even sure what you're on about in terms of serving food. It sounds like some weird horseshit tradition that makes no sense to me.
I mean I prep my own food. I eat alone.
And on the occasions when I've made food for someone else... it is just for them... and then I make my own food separately after I'm done hosting.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

He may seat himself ahead of me but he always waits for me to get seated so we can give thanks for our blessings together.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

Call me old fashioned, but we all sit around the table and eat together, and whoever dishes out the meal is waited for by the others.

dustybiker2 · Answer

I remember it was tongue-in-cheek at holidays when young. Everyone eats together. Cooking and clean-up are usually fun shared family time too. Never too many cooks in the kitchen in my home.

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Kids should eat first and then whoever cooked the meal

EmmaMary · Answer

@sirenboobzilla  No absolutely not. Our children come first and foremost and always will.

Account · Answer

What? What the hell is this, we are in the middle of 2024.

Wiredone · Answer

If my wife cooks she serves me first. If I cook I serve her first

DrPepper12 · Answer

No. Whoever made dinner is last to eat just cuz they're serving.

Date_a_Snob · Answer

Im married. me and my husband both work. im naturally submissive and he is naturally dominant.

gorydetails · Answer

Smarter men know to bat cleanup. out of respect, I should be left the piece of meat that's the best.

grega239 · Answer

Not sure. In my experience it doesn't matter because no one can start eating until everyome is at the table.

Kelly6 · Answer

@sirenboobzilla never, it’s most ridiculous

sexyiluvdb · Answer

No I make my kids plates first then then my husband then mine.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Another BS tradition. I don't believe in any traditional BS set out by men.

Jennz6 · Answer

Children first!

Grond21 · Answer

I've always had the women go first

jahaims · Answer

Who doesn't sit down and eat together?

Iron_Man · Answer

The kids, the wife, then the husband

Agape93 · Answer

Not in my. house

Alex-Snow · Answer

Not really... who cares who eats first

Emmytexrex · Answer

He is the provider of the house

MrGSpotHer · Answer

It all depends on who made the kill for the meat..

Does the man of the house eat first?

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