Why would a man sabotage his own contraceptives, what is he gaining from that?

[Anonymous]

Has there been other cases like that where it's the man sabotaging his own contraceptives? I can understand why a woman would do this since she's either trying to get him to commit, her clock ticking or wanting to collect child support from him but why would a man do that? He's not gaining any benefits. He's the one that'll have to use his resources and money.

Last week, my older brother came with a confession he made to me in private. He begged me not to ever tell his wife nor anyone. They have two children, ages 18 and 13. He admitted that his wife refused to give him a 2nd child and that's why he secretly poke holes into it. Before proceeding with his plan, he prayed to God asking to be forgiven for what he's about to do. He made it in such a way that she wouldn't ever suspect. He feels terrible about what he did but she never found out. It was ruled as a faulty contraceptive. His wife had a hysterectomy done after the 2nd pregnancy. I'm still astonished with this new revelation. A man doing this. Wow. Like stated, he's that's spending his resources. People usually do things that benefits them, not things that cost them. Seriously why would a man trick a woman into getting pregnant?

[Vesuvius87]

He's just like the dirty, selfish bastards that string along women. The common denominator between him and those men is selfishness. It's all about him satisfying his own selfish needs and placing them above his partner's feelings and wants.

It's called reproductive coercion and it's one of the most disgusting things anyone can do to someone. The innocent party will always be that poor child that never asked to be brought into the world in that manner.

[Asker]

I'll agree he was selfish by doing that and only thought about himself. It seems their marriage is stable but omg, if his wife were to ever find that out, she's going to be so hurt.

[Agape93]

To baby trap a girl, to discreetly infect with an std or to knock her up to fuck up her life and finances

[Asker]

I was speechless when my own brother confessed that to me. He did sounded so full of guilt. He feels terrible for what he did. I had no suggestion other than him getting help and perhaps continue living with his guilt. His wife has no idea what he did back then and obviously neither does the boy.

[Agape93]

What he did is technically rape she consented to protected sex, by sabotaging it, it became unprotected sex which isn't what she agreed to do, and resulted in bodly harm and life disruption.

If a guy did that to me, he'd get shot. Simple as that.

[Asker]

The sad part is the little boy (their 13 year-old son) probably would feel so devastated in knowing how he was conceived. Base on family reunions and social gathering, his birth was mentioned as a surprise pregnant with a smile on their faces. He's been known as the surprise baby in the family.
I'm not sure if him confessing is good in this case, where his wife unaware of this, is happy and loves both of their kids. This is so sensitive and tough. He did something very despicable and yet there is an innocent child who loves both of his parents. Very tough one.

[Agape93]

It baffles me how soft people are.

[Anonymous]

You guys have to deal with your own issues. This is something I’m not used to.

[Asker]

I'm still having a hard time processing my brother's secret. If his wife knew, she would be extremely hurt. Him telling me this is him admitting to basically putting her through pregnancy and childbirth without her consent.
They love both of their children but wow, it doesn't change the fact he put her through a pregnancy she didn't want.

[Asker]

I've never heard of a man admitting to this before. My brother revealing this was a shock to me.

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t know, man why did you have to get in the middle of this? This is extremely dangerous. What if she gets pregnant and wants to have an abortion?

[Opinion Owner]

You’re gonna have to talk to your brother and tell him not to do that and he needs to have a serious discussion with his wife

[Asker]

From what I know, she can't ever get pregnant anymore. After their 2nd child, she had an hysterectomy done. He admitted to knowing she wouldn't have aborted the baby, that's part of why he did that.
I don't know why my brother confessed this to me though.

[Opinion Owner]

he probably doesn’t believe her

[Asker]

I told him that was so messed up. He agreed to this but again asked me for my silence, to not ever tell his wife.
Personally I think that's very twisted. I wouldn't ever do that to a woman. Forcing a child into someone that doesn't want to seems cruel to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah

[Apple1996]

Men do this way more than you might think

[Asker]

My brother has accepted living with the guilt forever. I guess that's part of his punishment because if his wife ever found out about their 2nd child, it wouldn't just crush her but the boy too, an innocent child that doesn't deserve that drama.

[Apple1996]

Eh my husband did something similar but I wanted more kids so it wasn't a big deal

[Asker]

That's a difference if you wanted more kids. His wife didn't want another child and he couldn't take no for an answer.

[4ngelic]

you answered the question yourself, he really badly wanted a second kid. guys also can really really want kids to the point they'd trick someone

[Anonymous]

The answer is in your question. He wanted another child and she didn’t.

[Asker]

True. He was in a tough position. Though I wouldn't have the guts to do that since that would mean taking that lie to the grave. I would just respect the woman's wishes.

[jahaims]

He is mentally ill

[Asker]

I'm still shocked by my brother's confession. I told him to seek help. He begged me not to tell his wife and has expressed guilt in what he did. She loves both kids off course but damn, if she ever found out what she did, that news would crush her.