How can you distinguish between really loving them vs falling in love and being in love?

[SeleneSecret]

There is loving them, falling in love and being in love. The 3 of them seem similar but aren't.

Obviously falling in love isn't the same as it's more about infatuation (similar to having a deep crush on someone but at multiplied by 10x), which is pure attraction and fantasizing about them too much. You can fall in love but realize later on that's not love. You didn't really actually love them. However is loving the same as being in love? Or different and if so is there a way to distinguish them?

[adam6402]

I think you've got it a bit wrong. Well actually everyone has their own interpretation of love but here's how I see it...

Falling in love is simply being attracted to someone, like in the case of having a crush. It's developing feelings for someone new, mostly without them knowing about or reciprocating your feelings.

Loving someone comes after falling in love and is more than just a crush. You’ve developed deeper feelings of admiration towards someone rather than just being attracted to them, normally after you’ve actually made a connection with them.

Being in love is an intimate bond where your feelings are open and the person you are in love with shares and reciprocates these same feelings with you.

[SeleneSecret]

Very well explained and hopefully I don't confuse them when it happens. I've heard of many break-up stories where the people were madly in love and all of the sudden fall out of love, there are arguments, they share nothing in common, realize they don't even know the person well and they never really go to the final stage of actually loving them. They got stuck on the being in love level.
Or there are people that really think they love their partners just because they fantasize about them 7/24 and think about the intimate moments they shared but they can't even answer what special traits (besides physical intimacy) they like about them.

[adam6402]

Exactly! Being in love isn't something you fall out of easily over a few arguments, it's far deeper than that. Genuinely being in love is the reason why people, despite their differences, live their entire lives with their partner and don't have any desire for anyone else. That's being in love. If you're falling in and out of relationships then you're only making it as far as loving someone and you haven't let love take you over completely.

[ProbablyClueless]

I like to test it by seeing if you can say something genuinely negative about the person. Think along the lines of something that genuinely speaks to them having a truly crappy personality trait; like they get really insulting when they argue with others.

If you can, and you still think the person is fantastic, it's probably love.

[SeleneSecret]

Well said. It isn't fantasizing about them too much. Many people confuse that for being really in love but it's not.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the cascading waters of affection, aren't we? Let's dive right in! 😍

Loving someone is like enjoying a classic song on the radio—comfortable, familiar, and always uplifting. It's a steady, deep-rooted feeling that encompasses care, respect, and wanting the best for someone, often flowing out of deep friendship or long-standing connections.

Falling in love, oh, that's the fireworks! It's a storm of emotions, an intoxicating mix of desire, passion, and daydreams where every song seems to be about them. It's thrilling but can be as fleeting as it is intense, a beautiful whirlwind that might not always plant its roots.

Being in love? Now that's the full album—hits, deep tracks, and all. It combines the thrilling beats of falling in love with the timeless rhythms of loving someone. You're not just caught in a storm; you're dancing in the rain, embracing both the tempests and the calm skies with a sense of partnership, commitment, and a deep understanding that you're in this concert of life together.

How to distinguish? Listen to the music of your heart. If it's just a catchy tune (falling in love), you might move on when the next track plays. But if you find that tune becoming your life's soundtrack, supporting you through ups and downs (being in love), and feeling comfort in simply being together (loving someone), then you've got a platinum hit, my friend. Keep listening, and let your feelings harmonize. 🎵💖

[ohsheeT]

The thing about love is there so many different kinds of love. . Unconditional love is the best love it is the most powerful love is the most beautiful love because with that love all the other different types of Love fit right into that same category unconditional you'll know it when you feel it you'll know it when it's there when it's real but what people don't understand is it when you love somebody and you want to be with them..

It's a two-way street and no matter what your love can be deeper than theirs there's going to be deeper than yours it doesn't matter though what matters is that you give it you experience it you enjoy it you live it..

And the thing about love is you can only give the depth. Of love that you have experienced...

And nowadays with all the breakups everybody's afraid that they're going to love that person more than they love them and they don't think that's fair it's more than fair... When you fall in love with somebody it's your job to show them exactly the depth of it How deeply you love if it doesn't work out oh well at least you got to experience the real you the depth of love that you have to offer you're going to take that with you everywhere and you will get through it until the next person and then you'll be able to give that person even more love just because you love somebody doesn't mean you're going to be with them all their life life is an experience become the best at whatever it is that you want to do and love you should be a part of that because love is one of the most powerful beautiful things that we all need to experience to the deepest depths

[DishLady]

Crush = that schoolgirl feeling you get around someone who is very peripherally attractive to you.


Falling = that rush or thunderstruck feeling that makes you feel a little giddy… blushing or otherwise responsive to that person’s attentions.


In Love = a feeling of normalcy that washes over you daily … this is the one you feel comfortable sharing with.

[SeleneSecret]

Many times falling in love seems to be the next step right after having a crush on them. I just hope when if I find someone, I don't confuse them.

[DishLady]

Yeah, I hear you. It’s why the dating process is so important.

[hahahmm]

What you describe is all emotions. Emotions can come and go like the wind.

I would worry more about whether someone is trustworthy, loyal, respectful. These are key building blocks to real relationships. But see my mytake A Note On Giving Trust and if you're interested in traditional stuff checkout my mytakes on "Characteristics of a Lady" and "Being a Better Man" parts 1 & 2.

[wiltingrosepetal]

Falling in love is the excitement
Being in love is the comfortability
Loving them is the mediocrity

[SeleneSecret]

Good point. Sometimes people confuse the excitement for true love, when it isn't.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You can by simple process of elimination. At least this is how I see it:-

1) When you first meet and you are sexually attracted to them, that is infatuation.

2) Do you do things for that person, but get very annoyed when it feels like it isn't appreciated? That is being in love for the sake of love.

3) When you have your first argument. Do you go in for the kill, or hold back slightly because ultimately you LOVE them. That right there is genuine love

[SeleneSecret]

Yes it's just attraction first and you might not even know the person well. This is the tricky part, being sexually attracted to them, falling for them and then finding out you don't even know them well and have absolutely nothing in common.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for asking. I said in-love is just loving someone you have sex with. That's just bitterness that I hate to admit.

Then I met a person that brought back what I haven't felt in over 25 years. I was only around her about 4.5 hours. She slept half of that. Naturally she had no interest in me being 35. But she was nice and talked with me. I let her lead the subjects that included her kastsexual encounter, divorce, her weight and size, being a twin among this and that. I fixed her waffles and kept myself away from her as best I could, mentally. She ate and fell back asleep on my bed.

A little later she caught her ride home. The reason she was there was with a friend who was to make 3 in my renters FMF. She was not of that. The two that are look like it.

It hit after she left. I took pics of her, 5. She didn't mind. She was real nice and sad too.

I guess. I'll admit it's real. But it sure can suck.

[azbaeu]

That in love experience is simply when you meet someone that you're interested in and it doesn't really matter whether or not you have sexual interests For example a new best friend might be somebody that you are entirely invested in that in love phase

[serious]

Yes this is a really good question and sometimes it is tough to distinguish between the 3.

[SeleneSecret]

Exactly it's so hard. I think maybe if we fantasize about that person too much and our world focuses on just them too much, that's not really love.

[OddBeMe]

Seems like more phrases than really meanings. Lots of people ruin their lives not being able to discern a phrase.

I guess it determines your ability to read your emotions. Maybe just experience is the way.

[Twalli]

Being in love is where there's attraction as well as love.
I love my family and my dog. I am in love with none of them. I am in love with my girlfriend. I not only feel the love I have for my family and dog, but also attraction.

[Anonymous]

Listen to your head not your heart. Your heart is stupid as 💩. And when I say "you", I don't mean you specifically. That's everyone.

[SeleneSecret]

This is what I want to do. I want to avoid confusing them when I find someone special

[WhitneySnow]

That’s really hard. They confuse me too.