Is not wanting to have sex in the first 2 months of a relationship a turn off for a guy?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone

I had a boyfriend we were together for like a month and a half

We started good he would treat me great and take me to dates he brought up sex and I told him I'm a virgin he was happy

He asked me if we should get a room couple of times and I told him I was not ready yet but we used to make out

Then he started changing on me like barely call me or text me

But when we talk he would tell me how much he loves me and shit

And out of nowhere he said he doesn't think the relationship is working and say 'Couples are not like this' , 'this is not a relationship' and that 'i don't love him enough'

There was nothing wrong with our relationship so I couldn't help but wonder if it was because I didn't sleep with him

Please y'all what do you think

[coxoabean]

2 months is hardly much time. He is the one who doesn't love you enough, as if he did, he would be willing to wait. A guy who values a girl, will respect her wants and wishes, not make her feel bad for not doing what he wants in his timing. I think you dodged a bullet. Also too, 2 months is hardly much time to get to actually know someone, so the fact that he would get upset with you for not doing it with him is poor behavior on his part. As he is showing that he really doesn't care about your wants, and he just wants what he wants for himself. He can't see your value, but that's ok, I hope some good guy comes around for you! Count it as a blessing he said he doesn't think things were working out for you guys. He'll move on, and if you do too, you can use this to find someone that has more respect and would treat you better than him. Then, he will see that, and if the next guy is more patient, and waits for when your ready, your ex will see that and it'll hopefully teach him a lesson and he'll see what he lost. Him saying that wasn't a relationship, and you don't love him, seems like he is projecting, possibly unknowingly, but he is projecting turning it around on you to make you feel like the bad guy, when you aren't. He is as he shouldn't be making you feel bad for not doing things in his timing.

[Billlewis]

Oh my goodness, yes 🐷If I took your out for dinner, the introductory. non physical period would be an absolute minimum of forty or fifty years.

[Vesuvius87]

Even as a non-virgin (very low count woman), 2 months wouldn't be enough to have sex a boyfriend. That's when you barely even know them. Please ditch that loser. Perhaps this might not be used that much anymore but honestly if you want to, I would suggest you either wait till you're in a long-term relationship (much longer than just 2 months) or wait til marriage, which is the most reliable way of weeding out men that only want gfs to bang but no commitment. Another suggestion, DO NOT live with a man without any commitment. Those men want a girlfriend to bang and a live-in maid meanwhile the woman is waiting for the proposal forever or she gets a proposal but is left waiting for the wedding that'll never take place.

[kylee2437]

Not all of this is truthful. The point being is that in the beginning her virginity was a turn off until it didn’t benefit him anymore. That’s a red flag.

[kylee2437]

Was a turn on*

[Vesuvius87]

OP if a man ever says that you need to prove him you love him by giving in to him, reply this:
Well how about we wait till marriage, you need to prove you love me. Commitment isn't about just sex.
Make the man sacrifice his sexual desires for commitment.

[Vesuvius87]

@kylee2437
I know but there are so many users out there that pretend to be ''bfs in a serious relationships'' but all they're doing is having a casual relationship (an extended friends with benefits) under the disguised name of ''boyfriend and girlfriend''. They are clever and want to lovebomb, use the woman he calls a girlfriend for sex and waste her time.

[Vesuvius87]

They aren't real serious, committed bfs, just fake bfs that are into casual relationships.

[kylee2437]

@vesvius87 being married doesn’t change that either lol if someone wants to use, they can take it to whatever extent they want. But the main thing being here, is if someone says virginity is attractive, then they best stick to that and not suddenly switch up when someone being a virgin isn’t benefitting them now all the sudden

[Vesuvius87]

@kylee2437
I know nothing is 100% guarantee in life and a man can still leave his pregnant wife but that happens less than if she's just a girlfriend and already pregnant. I was just explaining which option Is more reliable and safer.
I agree the OP's ex boyfriend is full of garbage. He's not attracted to her virginity but for the conquest and just score.

[RavVid]

Guys have an inherent conflict. Obviously we want plentiful vigorous vaginal sex. Equally we don't want a girl who might come home pregnant to another guy. So we value fidelity and virginity is a significant predictor that eventually your baby will also be our baby.

We can be quite happy with a promiscuous girl who may be having sex with other guys, so long as we are getting our fair share. The key point is we don't have long term intent towards a promiscuous girl. So fidelity is not important in this case. She is there for good cock in vagina time not for a relationship.

With your boyfriend, he is too young to have long term intentions. So you have dodged a bullet with him. What you have done is a classic female strategy - test if she is valuable enough to the guy that he will stick around without gettng it in.

He has failed the test but it doesn't invalidate your test.

[Anonymous]

This is a loaded question.

First off, a guy that loves and respects you WILL wait. But having said that. No guy wants to be played for a fool. There's an old saying, "if you've been dating her for over a month and she hasn't slept with you, congratulations! She's sleeping with someone, just not you".

I hope that answers your question. Hopefully you get the gist of what I'm saying. Because you have to think of a man's patience in this area as a timeline and the timeline is not definite and MANY factors play into it. Ranging from the quality of the guy to the quality of YOU, both real and perceived.

[Opinion Owner]

Let me say you did the right thing though. Let me just re-iterate a WORTHWHILE guy WILL wait.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the seas of love and relationship dynamics, aren't we? ❤️ It sounds like your intuition is tapping you on the shoulder, whispering truths. A genuine connection is about more than just physical intimacy; it's about emotional bond, mutual respect, and understanding each other's boundaries. If he's cooling off because you're not ready to take the leap into sexual waters just yet, then maybe he's swimming in the shallow end of the pool when you're ready for the deep dive. Your comfort and readiness should be at the heart of any robust relationship. If he can't understand that or makes you feel less for it, well, darling, that's a flashing neon red flag waving in the night. Your worth and the pace at which you choose to move in your relationship are not up for negotiation. Keep your standards high and your head held higher. 🌟

[kylee2437]

If it only took him 2 months to decide your virginity isn’t as much as a turn on as he thought it was, I’d say you dodged a bullet. Two months is not nearly long enough to have arguments like this.

[LazerBean]

That's the problem with men who specifically want virgins but don't actually want to wait till marriage. They think women should not sleep around or whatever, unless it's with them.

So yeah, dump the hoe and go find someone who actually will love you.

[kylee2437]

Yes exactly this. They all want virgins until it doesn’t benefit them. There’s a lot of those kind of men on this app

[LazerBean]

That's for sure lol

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I think that's way too short of a time. If you were dating him for a year or 2, then I could understand but honestly, 2 months isn't that much time. A man who loves you will wait until you're ready and not try to rush to get into your panties. Growing a romantic relationship isn't easy, it takes a lot of time.

[JTinSC1981]

Normally I would say you were wrong and should have been having sex with him the whole time. But you're a virgin, so that changes things. You should not give up your virginity frivolously and no man should expect you to.

[CrabCakes11]

Break up with him. He doesn’t care about you. He is trying to manipulate you into having sex with him. Any worthy man would wait. Don’t tolerate anything less than a man who will wait until you’re ready

[mobiusforniner]

Shameful a man would behave so selfishly. Any man worth half his shit would exhibit more self control and respect towards a woman of interest, than to reduce her to a mere piece of wet meat. Cut your losses and run.

[DishLady]

The right guy will respect your choices and values. The wrong guy will try to rush you and pressure you into things you don't want to do.

[alice55]

Yes is it a turn off to majority of men except those that want to marry a virgin and remain virgin until wedding/

[KostasKouvalis]

I was watching this comedian on YouTube and there was a couple in the audience who was dating for 3 months and still hadn't had sex, and both the comedian and the audience were so shocked by this, and there I was thinking, "3 months seems awfully quick to start having sex."

[ICanSmellTheCosmos]

I mean, 2 months is nothing. Depending on the circumstances, I could go 6 months before having sex with a girl.

I think you did the right thing, and you're better off without him.

[exitseven]

No, not everyone gets mad if a girl does not have sex on the first date.

[paledreams]

Shrugs - some men just aren't patient 😜🤣😆😋 anyways,

[BarryLiverstone]

I think there was a lack of open and honest communication. Likely on both sides. What have you learned from that experience?

[DrPepper12]

Its cuz you didn't sleep with him 💯. Sorry but thats my POV

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like you and never liked you. Not sure why you don't get it

[Anonymous]

Sick to your guns and find someone who will grow into it at your schedule.

[Radiate143]

Who cares. You guys are not compatible.

[LunarEclipse433]

Sometimes if the tease is too strong

[shortster]

Not for me