Is a year too long to make a guy wait for sex in a relationship? Guy's how long do you think you should wait?

Question

hmm..
 Well...

I made my ex wait for 3 months me and him couldn't wait much longer because we where really attracted to each other... I think sex in a relationship is quite important... but its also worth waiting for.

Guys how long would you wait?
Would you wait a year?
Girls how long would you make a guy wait in a relationship?

redeyemindtricks · Accepted Answer

Ok, see, this is a big problem, here, the way you're phrasing this.

You wrote:
"Girls how long would you MAKE A GUY WAIT in a relationship?"

Those words, there, in caps. Those words are the problem.

Perhaps yr just choosing words indiscriminately. One can hope, at least. Because that's the best outcome.

But, yeah... Pull up a chair.

__

Consider:

#1, "Girls how long would you MAKE A GUY WAIT in a relationship?"

#2, "Girls how long WOULD YOU WAIT in a relationship like this?"

You see the difference.

#1 is cold-hearted, strategic, manipulation.
Now look, now, I'm all about being strategic. Because #freelancelife, y'know. But the problem is, #1 is manipulation from which you both stand to lose. Lose BIG.

There's this thing. It's called "sociosexuality". Very roughly speaking, it measures where you are on the slutty-to-prudish scale. High sociosexuality = slutty, low sociosexuality = prudish.
This is a VERY important point of compatibility. In fact, unless the basic necessities of survival are threatened, this is pretty much THE most important point of compatibility, in a sexual relationship.
High-sociosexuality people are better matches for other high-sociosexuality people, and likewise low-sociosexuality people for each other.

People who are mismatched, on this metric, will DESTROY each other. Tear each other to li'l bitty shreddy shreds.
Either the high-sociosexuality partner will act out, and destroy the self-esteem and stability of the low-sociosexuality partner... or, else, the high-sociosexuality partner will simply rot on the vine.

Important thing, there, right? You'd think you'd want to get that matched, then.

#1 serves to do nothing but obfuscate that communication. It's make-believe, it's pretend. It's disguising yr sociosexuality.
In other words, "MAKING HIM WAIT" is setting yrself up for choosing the wrong, wrong, ooohhh honey wroooonnngg partner for you.

#2, on the other hand, is just honest communication.
If you are the type who needs to wait for a while before having meaningful, connected, emotionally present sex, then, that's fine. You are a low-sociosexuality individual, and you should seek others of yr kind. In that case, #2 is an intelligent, honest, and forthright way to find those fellow travelers, of yours.

Big difference there.

But, a simple difference.

If you have to MAKE HIM (and MAKE YOURSELF!) do something... you lose. You lose big time.

If yr following yr own natural emotional instincts, that's how you win.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

It depends, but in my experience, a non-religious, previously sexually active guy will likely not wait a year. I don't even think I could wait a year and I'm a virgin. I believe that putting set time periods on sex isn't as healthy as people think; it should be totally dependent on when you and your partner feel ready.

snowangle · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend and I were both virgins and waited 7 months. He was very patient and would've willingly waited longer, but I was ready.

Humping_Tornadoes · Accepted Answer

It's too long. Finding out you don't have sexual chemistry with a person after one year would suck.

Also, it would depend on whether she does/has donde casual sex. I won't be the chump she'll have waiting when she couldn't resist/had no problem giving it away to a random guy she met on a night out.

If she was a person who places a higher value to sex, then it's worth waiting. For a virgin too, though I would never wait until marriage for it.

Girls who hold sex also miss that there are perfect timings to have sex and a perfect time to have first time sex with that person. You might miss out on this too, but that's also a part of taking this risk.

Edward1324 · Accepted Answer

Honestly in a serious relationship if a girl comes on too strong too early it's a turnoff. It makes me think she has had sex with everyone. I like to wait a few months 3-6 usually. The longer you wait the better I believe. A year would be long and prbly fine if you do other things besides sex.

Bandit74 · Answer

Depends on my gut feeling. If she's a virgin then I can understand waiting around 6 months. However if I think or hear from other people that she's the type of girl who has had one night stands or fuckbuddies then there's no way Id be willing to date her for months with no sex. If she was so excited to sleep with her previous partners that she's ready to rip their clothes off after less than two weeks and she doesn't feel that same level of excitement towards having sex with me then Id leave.

DooMguy · Answer

err. . . . I'd wait for a few months .. . actually make that a year. Or even longer then that on second thought

Anonymous · Answer

I might wait a year if the girl had a great explanation for waiting AND had practiced this throughout her lifetime. If it was a rule which had been created just for me, I would be suspicious.

aficionado · Answer

I'm willing to wait even until marriage (or engagement), if she wants me to. But if she does not want to have sex AT ALL, then I'll have to break up with her.

Dragonstarterplus · Answer

Considering you admitted that you weren't waiting til it felt right or anything like that , but you were just withholding sex "to make a guy wait" then it's understandable he didn't want to play your YEAR LONG games. I mean who the hell would besides a guy with no other viable options?

Kirah · Answer

That depends on the guy. Many guys are not willing to wait that long. I think that sex is an important part of a healthy relationship.

tzdc21 · Answer

A YEAR? Hell no! I am not gonna wait a whole year for sex, ESPECIALLY if she has given it to other guys WAY sooner, and she's making ME jump through hoops for the same prize? Uh, no. Now, if she was a virgin, then the chances of me waiting that long are up in the air. But for the most part, no.

alfonsosloan45 · Answer

I already did that and when WE FINALLY HAD SEX Iit was fucking awfull!!!

BroadMajesticShannon · Answer

It depends, if she is someone who puts out early and then makes me wait because I am deemed relationship worthy, I'd refuse to wait and I would end things.

dovido · Answer

A year is waayyy too long, but u can't say how long is good enough cause.. U can wait 4 months but it will be like 5 dates but u can have that fifth date after a week or so...  So I'd say 6th date

erandal · Answer

Not sure about time but you need to have gone out on at least 4 or 5 dates for certain. I think the longest I made anybody wait was a month.

DiegoO · Answer

I would waith as long as she wants (if she were a virgin and depending on why she wants to waith) if it's for a religious porpouse I would waith, if she wants me to wait for the sake that she is not ready I would start feeling she thinks I am not the right guy after 4-5 months.

AleDeEurope · Answer

That's way too long. 5 months is long too. Sex is too important to wait that long.

AzureGirl · Answer

My boyfriend and I waited two years. He was completely fine with it.

ArtDent · Answer

I waited 3 months for a gal who had never fucked before way back in the day. But she was the only exception. And it was clear she was into me from the beginning.

dudeman · Answer

if she's a virgin id wait. if not she's got a lot less time. days to weeks.

Anonymous · Answer

My ex couldn't even wait 2 months.

My new boyfriend... we pleasure each other, but haven't gone all the way! We're waiting until marriage. He pleasures me more than I do him & he enjoys watching me orgasm. #nopressure Best. Guy. Ever!!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, I'd require that a girlfriend wait 3 years to have sex with me. Any sooner and I won't know if she's who she says she is as a person.

Anonymous · Answer

If your waiting just for the sake of waiting then you are making a mistake. Waiting for the sake of waiting doesn't help anyone since there is no basis behind it.

OrangeBoy · Answer

I don't get that. Why do you wai if both want it? What's the purpose?

bombamboum · Answer

If a man asked me this, I wouldn't wait.

Anonymous · Answer

You shouldn't make a guy do anything. A guy shouldn't tolerate such manipulations anyway.

candyaurora · Answer

I would wait up until marriage..

APRU5 · Answer

Until i get a ring. Thats how long.

rios29 · Answer

2 months max

jacquesvol · Answer

If he isn't your first , it's long.

Yemon · Answer

Yes its ling three months is a good amount of time

jmmmfi2 · Answer

I expect it the first night or I'm out

Anonymous · Answer

I dumped them if I didn't get sex by the 3rd date.

Tha_Girl · Answer

Until you're married

abc--123 · Answer

Way too long

Is a year too long to make a guy wait for sex in a relationship? Guy's how long do you think you should wait?

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