How and when do I approach my husband about possibly cheating?

[princessprettyxoxo]

Recently my husband told me his family member went missing when I was calling him numerous times. My boyfriend got a new phone and left his old iphone in my apartment which I did not know. When going through my counter I saw a phone thinking it was one of my old phones and turned it on. I saw it was his old phone and I didn't think anything of it but come to find out its signed into his icloud. I hate to snoop but I saw something that was a red flag. He had a womans number saved that I did not recognize and in his call log they are always on the phone. This started on the day he told me his uncle was missing. I mean she calls nonstop and he's calling too. I dont know who that woman is and I dont want him to know how I know but it is extremely alarming and is bothering me and I am going to approach him about. The only people that usually call him are his mother and sister. How should I go about doing this? Im at work and I want to leave and get to his apt by the time I go on lunch break and see what is going on? Or should I wait till the morning because he works overnight?

Updates

1 y

He is my HUSBAND. We are LEGALLY married. I’m used to calling him my man my my husband whenever and he calls me his wife at times or his girl. It’s completely innocent. It’s how we talk where we’re from. Nothing crazy please I am not cheating

[BetaBucks]

Could this women be a family member or someone connected to his missing uncle? If my family member went missing, I'd be talking to a new person regularly too. Especially if it only started after the person went missing. Is there more context that makes you think something was shady? Like texts or him being away at unusual hours? Were the calls for hours, or were there just a bunch of calls that could have been updated/planning/etc... regarding the missing person?

[princessprettyxoxo]

He sent the person 3 dollars and they talk on the phone everyday. Longest I saw was about 30 minutes. He has the number saved too. But one time it was around 2 in the morning which is extremely suspicious.

[BetaBucks]

You can reverse lookup the phone number to see if it's to someone involved in law enforcement, social services, private detectives, etc... Sending 3 dollars makes no sense but talking for 30 minutes for a law enforcement interview, or getting an update call at 2am is not unusual. If he called at 2am, that would be 100% not right. Saving the number is completely normal. I don't understand what that comment was about.

I think you really need to figure out who the person is before you risk blowing up your whole relationship. If you do a search on the number, you should be able to figure out enough about her though.

How has his sexual interest been lately?

[princessprettyxoxo]

I highly doubt it’s anything law related the girls name is Cookie. It’s giving low down dirty whore. I confronted him and he stated it’s someone he met in passing before we were in a relationship that he’d bump into almost every morning before work. And they speak about their kids ( I guess she has one and he has one from a previous relationship). That is completely innocent but I asked him to confirm and I noticed he deleted the contact and blocked the number. He stated he will not reach out any longer. When he left he unblocked it and saved the number. I hate him.

[BetaBucks]

Lmfao you shoulda lead with the part about her name being Cookie.

[BetaBucks]

Legitimately sorry that this all happened to you though.

[strateguy632]

in general dont accuse... especially if he is just talking on the phone, that is not cheating but you...

when he finds out you snooped big trouble.

if cops arrest without a search warrant, even a guilty wlll go free this rule for preventing cops doing a beverly hills cop move. don't snoop.

[dustybiker2]

Just ask him if everything is alright, say he seems off lately. And stop snooping. If he wants you to know he will tell you. Trust is earned.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through the whirlwind of emotions and suspicions you're feeling right now takes a delicate balance of tact and transparency. Love, it's all about timing and the environment when embarking on a conversation as charged and potentially transformative as this one. Rushing to his apartment on your lunch break, fueled by a cocktail of anxiety and suspicion, might not set the stage for a productive or calm conversation. Instead, consider waiting until you both have enough time and emotional bandwidth to engage in a meaningful dialogue, possibly in the morning when he's off work and you're not pressed for time.

Approach him with openness and honesty, without laying blame or jumping to conclusions. Share how you stumbled upon the information in a way that focuses on how it made you feel rather than accusing him outright. Saying something like, "I need to talk to you about something that's been weighing on my mind. I wasn't looking for anything, but I found..." This frames the conversation in a way that seeks clarity and understanding rather than starting off on a confrontational note. Remember, the goal here is to nurture trust and honesty, regardless of the outcome. And hey, keep your chin up! These conversations can be tough but they're pivotal in defining the boundaries and health of your relationship. 💔🕵️‍♀️✨

[Jamknot9]

Tonight in bed you be honest. Just tell him the truth so he doesn't have suffer mentally.. he might suspect.. God Bless you all

[spartan55]

You referred to him as your husband, then your boyfriend. Don't know what that could be about.

[Iron_Man]

There’s nothing to approach no certain avenue just lay it all out on the line

[Anonymous]

Get more proof.