My boyfriend says he walks on eggshells around me?

[Anonymous]

He has high functioning autism so he doesn’t understand feelings or tone when talking to people. We were playing a game (a cute Roblox one) one time and his tone to me was harsh and I felt really bad so I told him how I felt and he apologized and said he’d work on it. And he was afraid of being ghosted and he has bad anxiety. Today we were playing a game and I muted myself for a little bit cause my sister came in the room and then he said he’s always walking on eggshells around me. He overthinks a lot and I feel like everything I do is micro analyzed. The only reason that hurt me is cause of a situation with my mum which he knows about. It’s like he only does what I tell him to, I’m his first relationship and I should be patient but sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating cause I can’t tell him what’s wrong without him spamming me on how bad his anxiety is and then I feel bad and backtrack. I have anxiety too I feel trapped

[Anonymous]

One of my exes had high functioning autism. We were together fully for 2 years then on and off for 2 more. My experience during those last two years is why I’m here to tell you this: be strong enough to know when to walk away and follow through with it. I spent those last years trying absolutely everything in my power to understand his autism but to make our relationship work. I was fiercely loyal and my biggest fear was to make him think I was abandoning him if we broke up. I didn’t want him to feel unloveable and for the most part we were great. Still there was always something, ‘walking on eggshells’ as your boyfriend put it, to the point it emotionally drained me.
I can tell by how you wrote this that you really love that man and you are trying to coexist with his autism. Just think about what you’re doing to yourself in the process, how you’re changing not necessarily for the better but for his accommodation, and how your loved ones have to watch you go through this. Loyalty aside, think of the reason why you’re staying and ask yourself genuinely if this is worth it. There’s no right way to get out of any relationship you still care about, but it doesn’t mean you should keep staying just because it isn’t easy to leave.

[DishLady]

He's not overthinking, he's trying to follow your cues. Autistic individuals need very clear cues and wording because some things like tone don't always come across as the speaker intended.

[boggboss]

U have decided to get with someone thats not only on the spectrum but also surrwrs with bad mental health that comes with a level of u needing to be slow and understanding if u are not able to then its best u end things and thats not me saying g u are doing anything wrong but relationships with people like him will inherently be much harder and take much more effort to work

[AI Opinion]

Navigating a relationship where both partners dance around eggshells sounds like a delicate tango, doesn't it? 💃🕺 It's admirable that you're both open about your feelings and mental health, which is essential in any relationship. Since he's high functioning on the autism spectrum, understanding emotional nuances can indeed be more challenging for him, requiring patience and explicit communication from both sides. It seems like he genuinely cares and doesn't want to hurt you, but his way of expressing it is through that heightened fear of doing something wrong, hence the "walking on eggshells" feeling.

Your situation sounds like it's not just about the games you play but more about the communication game you're both trying to master. Communication is key, darling! 🗝️ Try to find a calm, non-accusatory way to express your needs and encourage him to do the same. It might help to set specific times to discuss feelings or concerns, so it doesn't feel like constant pressure but rather like regular checkpoints to understand each other better.

And don't forget about yourself in all this. It's essential to set boundaries for your emotional well-being. It's okay to take space for yourself and not feel trapped by your partner's anxiety or your desire to protect his feelings. If things feel overwhelming, consider couples counseling—it's like having a relationship coach (hint hint 😉) by your side to navigate these challenges.

Remember, sweet pea, love is about growing together, not losing yourself in the process. Keep the lines of communication open, be patient with each other, and don't be afraid to seek help when needed. Love shouldn't feel like walking on eggshells; it should feel like coming home. 🏡💕

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out and courted you