So I've been seeing this guy for nearly 3 months. We've had 7-8 actual dates with just the two of us, but I have seen him every single weekend since the beginning of August due to our huge group of mutual friends. We don't have a physical relationship right now.
Anyway, a little over a week ago I asked him the question we all love to hate: are we just friends. What I got in response was an explanation of how right now he is working on trying to find balance in his life, and that while it's not that he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to enjoy life, he just isn't sure he could give one the attention and effort it would deserve and need. He kept adding that it wasn't because he didn't like me and that on top of all that I am not like any other woman he's ever dated (all his past girlfriends had serious emotional problems and needed to be "fixed" somehow). He also said that with all the stuff he's dealing with right now, he doesn't think it would be fair to drag someone else through what he's going through. I didn't get a chance to respond to anything he said. (After he said all that, he then made plans with me for this past weekend... we ended up having lunch on Sunday.)
The next day after his long explanation, he sent me a text message saying he was sorry for being a douche. I sent him back one saying how exactly was he a douche, and he said that he just felt like a big whiner, really out there, that he wasn't normally like that and that he just didn't want anyone to have to deal with him.
My dilemma is... I agreed to hang out with him at his house tomorrow evening. I have been wanting to respond to everything he said, but I just haven't had the chance yet. I want to tell him that while yes, I do like him, I wasn't trying to force him to commit to me in that instant -- I just wanted to know if he could see us in a relationship in the future. Also, I don't know if I should bother. Some people tell me to say f*** it and move on, he's just trying to be a nice guy and using everything he said as an excuse... others have said I should lay all my cards on the table, and then after I've said my piece and/or determined whether he was being honest with me or not is when I should make my decision. What do you guys think?
Anyway, a little over a week ago I asked him the question we all love to hate: are we just friends. What I got in response was an explanation of how right now he is working on trying to find balance in his life, and that while it's not that he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want to enjoy life, he just isn't sure he could give one the attention and effort it would deserve and need. He kept adding that it wasn't because he didn't like me and that on top of all that I am not like any other woman he's ever dated (all his past girlfriends had serious emotional problems and needed to be "fixed" somehow). He also said that with all the stuff he's dealing with right now, he doesn't think it would be fair to drag someone else through what he's going through. I didn't get a chance to respond to anything he said. (After he said all that, he then made plans with me for this past weekend... we ended up having lunch on Sunday.)
The next day after his long explanation, he sent me a text message saying he was sorry for being a douche. I sent him back one saying how exactly was he a douche, and he said that he just felt like a big whiner, really out there, that he wasn't normally like that and that he just didn't want anyone to have to deal with him.
My dilemma is... I agreed to hang out with him at his house tomorrow evening. I have been wanting to respond to everything he said, but I just haven't had the chance yet. I want to tell him that while yes, I do like him, I wasn't trying to force him to commit to me in that instant -- I just wanted to know if he could see us in a relationship in the future. Also, I don't know if I should bother. Some people tell me to say f*** it and move on, he's just trying to be a nice guy and using everything he said as an excuse... others have said I should lay all my cards on the table, and then after I've said my piece and/or determined whether he was being honest with me or not is when I should make my decision. What do you guys think?
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