Girls, What's the difference between "boyfriend material" and "husband material"?

[DishLady]

Ok, ladies... I asked the guys for their feedback about the distinction between girlfriend and Wife Material. Some really sweet answers (What’s the different between “girlfriend material” and “wife material”?).

Now we'll switch over to you to ask... what do you consider to be the difference between "boyfriend material" and "husband material"?

I started to make a list for someone else's post if you're interest (What are your expectations for what a man should be?).

[Vesuvius87]

A boyfriend material generally tends to use women for sex while maintaining the ridiculous ''boyfriend and girlfriend'' verbal status for years, makes her believe they're get married and have kids one day. In reality, he's just lovebombing her and is just there for the romantic feelings (aka infatuation stage) dates and unlimited sex. That's all there is. A boyfriend material isn't ever going to propose. He's just the man that wants to live in the moment, go to the movies with you, take you out to dinner and have fun but nothing permanent. He's basically just an extended friends with benefits. That's what the word boy+friend literally means. He's just a friendly, guy friend you have sex with but no commitment. He won't give us that.

A husband material is a man that's already dating with the purpose of marriage aka dating with intention. They don't want to date for too long. He isn't dating for the sake of just falling in love and romance. He wants to find out more things about us such as where we work us, what are our goals, where would we live if married, if we want kids, if we're religious or not and if we're compatible in other areas.

[LazerBean]

For intelligent people, there is no difference between "boyfriend" and "husband" material, or "girlfriend" and "wife" material.

But unfortunately, most people were inadequately raised and therefore make distinction between the two. And what it usually comes down to is one is do you have fun with when you're young and crazy, and the other is the one you want to commit to when you are ready to start acting like an adult.

[kylee2437]

This exactly 😭 like why are you dating someone you don’t want to marry

[LazerBean]

Yeah you would think it's obvious but 🤷🏽‍♀️

[XHopelessRomanticX]

For me; if he’s not one, he’s not the other.

[kylee2437]

The difference is a ring or not. I don’t know why there’s women in the comments settling for boyfriends that they wouldn’t turn into potential husbands.

[Vesuvius87]

Sometimes they can lie about wanting marriage and kids. Then there is also another trick I've read about; keep the woman waiting for the wedding date with the ring for years, never proceed with the actual marriage procedure and paperworks aka forever fiancee. I read a post about a woman being proposed 3 years ago but no wedding date was ever set up; the man gives excuses for postponing things.

[kylee2437]

@Vesvius87 3 years really isn’t a long time in theory. My sister and her man waited 10 years, now they are engaged with a baby on the way and following a wedding afterward. Just because a man isn’t on your timeline, doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in that stuff altogether. A woman shouldn’t be investing her time in a man that isn’t on the same timeline. I personally think it’s the woman’s fault if she sees her boyfriend as only a boyfriend and not a husband one day. Settling for less.

[kylee2437]

@Vesuvius87

[Vesuvius87]

It seems like he only proposed because there is a baby on the way and not because he truly wanted marriage. I do agree it's our fault for waiting too long instead of dumping him long ago and finding someone else compatible. I guess many times we can get too caught up with emotions and keep think he'll get there and marry us eventually.
I hope she's not waiting extra years as fiancee and there is actually a wedding date set up.

[kylee2437]

@Vesuvius87 see this is what happens when you make assumptions. He proposed before there was an existence of a baby. This is why I overall disagree with you in general. Women lack so much accountability to the point where there’s people that can really point out differences between a boyfriend and a husband

[Vesuvius87]

Then it might've been a different timeline both had. Generally (off course there are exceptions) we tend to want marriage earlier than the man's timeline. I've been stuck as a forever girlfriend at one point with a past boyfriend (a real narcissist) and it's so awful. I'm in a better place now with someone else. Some of us can be very naive and learned the hard way

[kylee2437]

@Vesvius87 and at least you left the situation. I think women also have a hard time understanding men have a moredifficult time committing. We live in a current world where being tied down isn’t necessary, and just like women have been enjoying that, men are allowed to do the same. It’s our job to leave the situation if it isn’t fulfilling

[MinnieMousse]

To me, “boyfriend material” is basically a guy that fools around with you and doesn’t ever want to commit or go the extra mile to show love or support, and “husband material” is a guy that is fully committed to you and only you, shows you unwavering support and love. The “husband material” guy will do things out of the kindness of his heart just because he loves and cares for you.

[Sugar100]

So only husbands meet family and when you get a boyfriend he never meets your fmaily? And it’s just dates forever til marriage?

[MinnieMousse]

Well for me I’ve never had a serious relationship yet or a boyfriend that’s met my family. I just didn’t date in high school because I was too busy focusing on my job and my grades to have time for a proper relationship.

Of course it doesn’t have to be just dates forever until we get married too. We could get an apartment and move in together and start building our lives together after some time.

[Sugar100]

I’m 26 and never had a serious boyfriend that met family. No one wants be my official real boyfriend & meet family.

[MinnieMousse]

Aw I’m sorry girl, I know how that feels a bit. I’m sure you’ll find the guy that’s right for you soon, don’t give up ❤️

[Sugar100]

I’m ready have a relationship but no guy wants a girlfriend. I don't know y girls find guys that are crazy for her and live with her daily in the same house, happy to meet family& he’s in love.

[MinnieMousse]

Sometimes love happens when you least expect it ❤️ You have to remember everybody’s situation is different and what you see from the outside isn’t what’s really on too.

[Sugar100]

Yea but the guys I love don’t love me back. Never met a guy where the love is mutual.

[MinnieMousse]

Aw I’m sorry ❤️ You just have to keep being patient until you find the right guy that you feel is right in your heart but also respects and loves you just as much.

Dating can be hard sometimes. It’s not always some fairy tale where people find their perfect match immediately.

[Sugar100]

The guys I felt right in my heart they don’t want be my offical boyfriend & meet family. Like I said I love guys but no guy loves me back.

[PeachyPie93]

I wouldn't date a guy I didn't see as husband material because what is the point? If I don't see a future with him, he isn't worth dating or fucking so that would be a dude who belongs in the friend zone :P

[Minky17]

Boyfriend material is just good for sex or a temporary bond. Husband material means they're highly reliable, mature, and you can foresee a family together with him.

If I can't see myself marrying a man or having his children, living together for years - if I can't even see it visually - he is not husband material for me.

[Jessikaah91]

If he's the one you wanna be with regardless of boyfriend or husband then so be it. There's no massive difference except rings and contract. They still gonna do what they gonna do. Titles don't change a person.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I wouldn't know the difference if there is one.

[Stella1990]

Some are good spouses othered aren’t I guess.