Girls, Losing hope on love, what to do?

[Guy82939499]

I remember always being happy, but lately I been finding myself feeling very lonely, faking a smile, I have had such a bad experience with love, I am not anti social, I'm actually social but I do enjoy my alone time and I have been okay with being single for the longest but now it is starting to get to me (especially since most of my friends are married, engaged, starting families)

I have only been in 2 serious relationships, the first one started out as most start which is happy but than it turned sour and the person I was with was (toxic, a liar, Cheater) eventually i did walk away from that relationship, I stayed single for about 3 years and I did go on a couple of dates, but nothing came out either they just wanted (hookup, were toxic, or I simply couldn't feel more), but after about 3 years I got into my 2nd relationship, for a moment it felt like I found the one, we were amazing together, we were two romantics, never got enough of each other, it was peaceful and very affectionate and full of good vibes, we never argued but we lived over a hour away and our work schedules were different, I was working on finding a new job to have a schedule that worked with hers but it was taking time, ( I was 20 living alone and my job was a good paying job) she was 19 and still living with her parents, she was very clingy ,(which I didn't mind),

but she was losing patience and she eventually walked away, (i always understood the reason) she told me why and it was because she couldn't deal with not seeing me as much, i was so upset but i understood and accepted what had happened, now it's been 5 years since and I have been on many dates but again nothing ever comes out of it, and I'm losing hope and since my 1st relationship i have only wanted to be with one person, grow with them, hit milestones together and settle I have never been the type to play. To describe myself I am now 25, I still live alone, I take care of myself physically and I try to take care mentally too

[SueShe]

You are putting pressure on yourself because you realize that time is against you and you see that your friends are in a relationship or having families.

Their happiness is perhaps a little fake because you will only see in a few years, perhaps in a decade, whether they are still as happy with the setting they chose. Perhaps that you will tell yourself that you are glad you did not do the same mistake.

That is also called group pressure and you are perhaps thinking "why them and not me"!

Fact is that by staying at home and just thinking of what could be but not doing anything to help it is going to drag you down. Fact is also that nowadays, the hookup culture in our rotten Western mentality is helping to ruin a great number of potential workable relationships. Everyone is just out there to screw left and right but not ready to make commitments. Those are the sad facts.

You are the only one that can help that situation.

In order to have friends or a girlfriend, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety if those are part of your problem.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

[Nikki1989]

Stop overthinking it and lift your spirits and your game.