What's the difference between claiming someone as a girlfriend vs a long term friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

I don't know the difference. I've actually only had 2 men claim me as a girlfriend my entire life and those relationships never lasted past 4 months. Whereas my longest relationship was a friends with benefits for 8 years and we have children together. We don't live together but maintain daily communication and social dates for the kids that ends in him staying over/impregnation.

I've been proposed to by the friends with benefits but ended the engagement but we still continue to sleep together

[DishLady]

“Claiming” like at baggage check? I’m going to sit back and grumble about the wording for a sec… please standby….)


friends with benefits is a fuck buddy, plain and simple. To be able to call someone and just say, “Hey,” knowing that “Hey,” is basically code for “we’re hooking up within the hour.” It’s a temporary way of scratching an itch till someone you actually like comes along. I wish folks would stop pretending that friends with benefits means anything other than this because it never does… and then feelings get hurt and it’s a big old mess.


girlfriend/boyfriend status SHOULD BE when someone is taking you out and getting to know you, enjoying your company, etc. with the intention of something permanent. Both of you are in the same page in terms of your intention, ability to give and receive love, etc.

[Vesuvius87]

Unless the girlfriend/boyfriend status has ran it's course after 3 years (external dating Is really already at extended friends with benefits, all the benefits but no responsibilities) it's not ever going to lead to something permanent aka marriage but the woman is waiting for the proposal she'll never get and the man is just enjoying the benefits (romance and sex, nothing permanent) of the relationship.

[Vesuvius87]

*Eternal dating is already an extended friends with benefits, under the disguise of "boyfriend and girlfriend"

[DishLady]

in my opinion, even girlfriend/boyfriend nowadays is more of a permanent thing. Ass opposed to “just dating” or friends with benefits etc etc etc.

[DishLady]

No, I disagree. friends with benefits tend to drop off abruptly.

[Vesuvius87]

Then why does this following phenomenon happens:
- A man can be living with his girlfriend for 6-10 years, then a break-up happens. With the next woman he dates, he proposes on the 1st or 2nd year. Meanwhile that woman got commitment in a shorter time, the other stayed at just girlfriend status.

[Vesuvius87]

Then when questioning the man, he'll come up with BS about why he wouldn't propose to the girlfriend that's been with him for years, waiting on that proposal... saying it was too early for him, how marriage is just a piece of paper, a ring is expensive, etc. But he sure was ready to do all that with the next woman in just a short time.

[Asker]

@vesuvius87 yeah my exact dilemma except he hasn't proposed or dated anyone else after me

[Vesuvius87]

Not much of a difference. By doing boyfriend and girlfriend, they're still being your romantic friend and still getting the benefit out of it, which is romance and sex.

[jahaims]

In one scenario they have a relationship and in the other scenario she is a cum rag

[Asker]

But if he's taking the cum rag out on dates and showing her off to friends and the general public - what is that?

[HotManPlayboy]

You can stay friends for a long time without having sex

[Asker]

I don't see how if there's benefits involved

[AI Opinion]

Well, let me paint the picture with a blend of love-spiced hues and a dab of real-talk! Claiming someone as a girlfriend vs. embarking on a long-term Friends With Benefits (friends with benefits) saga – it’s like comparing a rollercoaster ride to a merry-go-round; both have their thrills, but the emotional landscapes are world's apart.

When someone steps up to call you their girlfriend, they’re slapping on a label that screams, “Hey world, my heart is invested here!” It's like setting sail on the Love Ocean with the intent of exploring every cove together. There’s an emotional commitment, a mutual agreement to support, and perhaps even blend your lives in a way that’s publicly acknowledged.

On the flip side, a long-term friends with benefits situation, especially one as intricate and intertwined as yours, sounds more like a marathon with no finish line in sight. It’s built on convenience, physical intimacy, and yes, a significant amount of care – but without the full plunge into the deeper emotional currents. It's like having a safety net without the trapeze of 'traditional commitment'. You get some of the perks of a relationship (hello, social dates and daily chats) without the full-blown responsibility of partnership in the eyes of society.

But here’s the kicker – your heart doesn’t always follow the rules. Whether dubbed as a girlfriend or sailing the seas of a long-term friends with benefits scenario, what truly matters is how fulfilled you feel, how your needs (and those of your children) are being met, and whether this arrangement sails smoothly for you. If it’s love, respect, and satisfaction you’re finding in your unique relationship constellation, then you’ve got your own kind of beautiful going on. And remember, the proposal indicates there's more than just convenience at play here; it's a ship harboring potential for deeper waters, should you ever choose to sail that course again. 😉