Why argue loudly and in public?

[DishLady]

Picture this... It's a lovely summer day, you're taking a stroll (either during your break, after work, on the weekend or whenever your down time for R&R is...). Suddenly behind you are people (LOUD and on SPEAKER) arguing with one another... using the all the bad language on God's green earth, sometimes with a friend walking alongside them, egging the yeller on...

WHY, ladies and gentlemen... just WHY? WHY is it necessary to lay out your dirty laundry in public... out in the middle of the street where everyone can hear you and know what a low-class person you are? You really want to get into it with your guy/girl? Take it up in private and on your own time. Show a little class and dignity.

Opening it up to the folks on here. What do you think?

[alice55]

People can't control when they're angry, it's better for people to be angry outside rather than outside least chance of physical violence happening outside and if it happen there's load of people there to help.

In France (in the Southern part) people love to argue outside during the summer mostly cause they stay a lot of time outside but even when they argue inside their house you can still hear them since they're so loud, when my neirghour fight all of the street can hear them and their dog.

I don't think it's just a big deal it bring some "life" to a dead calm village like mine.

[DishLady]

It just seems so unnecessary, you know? And so insulting/disrespectful of the people involved...

[alice55]

Why unnecessary? People aren't control freak they have thought and emotion it's not healthy to bottle it up better to lay it all out once you feel them. If you don't you'll end up being bitter and sarcastic (my mom case never said much but explode on the tiniest stuff, absolutly impossible to resolve anything with her, same with my grandmother we can't do nothing cause she would just say "let's end this" and then i goes on being forgotten and never talked with, she refuse all talk so I believe is it better to let it all out even if it happen to be in public, people mostly don't care they're used to it, at least in France they don't care and if it start to feel to long then people would just tell them to town it down.)

[KostasKouvalis]

That last part made me laugh😂
Here fighting outside won't prevent physical violence. It's so common to see fist fights outside. They don't care who sees.
Usually people don't intervene because it will only put THEM in danger, but in some situations some people want to be a hero even if they don't know the full story. Or they will just call the police.

[alice55]

@KostasKouvalis It also make me laugh when I hear them arguing XD
The funniest one is when drunk people argue with the police XD
The guy was just coming home to his house late at night with his family after a wedding and the police just arrested him cause he was drunk and loud while he was in front of his house (so he managed to comeback home alive and all his family hey made so many kilometer to come home just to get arrested isn front of his house that's one unlucky man).
Don't really surprise me coming from America we see so many crazy video of America on internet XD
Calling the police is impossible in France cause they won't come, I know this from experience they was druggie fighting near our house we called them and they told you to stop bothering them that it wasn't their job.
In France they would always be at least one person that would intervene (and generally it's a woman especially a older one).

[KostasKouvalis]

Yes, you told me that. Here too, it's mostly older women who say something or call the police (especially if there's children around).

So funny you mentioned that, because i was watching a comedian recently from some other country and he was laughing how American police respond to such stupid things like someone's cat being stuck in a tree. In other countries most police don't even respond to domestic dispute calls.
At my old job, some karen that was staying at our campground reported some lady for collecting wood from the forest for her campfire. More often than not it's older or middle aged White ladies who snitch.

One of the worse stories I heard, was some lady in New York was shouting that a black lady robbed her, and people were defending the black lady and saying the White lady was making that up because she's racist.

[alice55]

@KostasKouvalis They don't respond to domestic call either in general except if they have nothing else to do (and the woman is know to complain a lot) then when they come they just say to the girl to leave the man pack her bag and if she leave they leave her on the street in front of her house and tell her to call her parents.
in France for cat in tree it's fireman that take care of it (some accept some don't and some make you pay for it).
Same in France they're the absolute worse, they got nothing to do all day except bothering people.
What a nice place to live O-o
They were the one being racist

[KostasKouvalis]

That's why crime rates in a lot of European countries are so low, because police won't respond to most things.

They actually do that?😂

I forgot what state it was, but some Cops gave a 10 year old kid a ticket for urinating in public!

I know. It's technically against the rules, but it's such a stupid rule. If was by myself I wouldn't have called. Once some lady wanted me to call the rangers on some kids who were jumping off the bridge into the water.
Literally everyone does that.
We had one ranger though who would always get annoyed when we would relay noise complaints on holiday weekends. Some Rangers were more lenient, others would report to anything.
One time some campers bought firewood from us and my coworker called the ranger because their kids were riding in the bed of their truck and the dad got a ticket.
That's another reason I didn't like that job. There was so much snitching, and when you work with law enforcement if you don't report certain things, YOU can get on trouble. It was having a bad influence on me, because I hate snitching. Some people reported their co-workers, including me, to the Rangers. That was crossing the line for me. I'd never report a co-worker to the Rangers, no matter how much I hated them.
What pissed me off most was they were no better themselves, but they snitched on others. I only started doing it when they did it to ME. But I never snitched on anyone to the Rangers.

Americans love to snitch so much! I hate this about them! One lady at my work said she got a co-worker fired at a previous job and was proud of it.

[alice55]

@KostasKouvalis People fighting isn't a crime though only murder are crime. This is just a regular assault nothing big, you don't even go to prison for this.
XD
Why would they do this, they're so weird, this would never happen in France not even to an adult. Last time a man complained that a guy pissed on his door he got killed for it...

Some people are so uptight it's annoying. It's pretty good that in France it's mostly lenient (expect some that are freak but usually it's pretty tame).
What an horrible place to work in, I wouldn't have last more than 4 months personally I would have gone crazy after. I hate snitching too, this is one of the things that is the least tolerated France, people would literally kill you if you snitch for anything here.

Why would she be proud of it, in France everyone would call her a collabo even boss don't like snitch. I worked with children and some teacher tried to get the children to be snitch, one child came to me to report some stuff another child did, what crazy world children even snitching on children, luckily in France once they get to middle school they understand this is a no good things and stop doing it.
Swiss love snitching too and Asian aswell as old people in general.

[KostasKouvalis]

I don't know about France, but here they would have to press assault charges for it to be a crime. I think technically fighting is a crime, but if neither party wants to press charges, police usually end up letting them go.

I know! Americans are such prudes. Especially if you're in the wilderness and there is no toilet. Like, what are you supposed to do? Hold it?
DAMN! That's extreme XD

One poor girl killed herself recently because she was masturbating on a public beach and someone called the police on her and they posted the body cam footage all over the internet. it's so fucked up that she was shamed like this, while the assholes who snitched on her remain anonymous. My dad always liked that in Europe they don't release criminals' last names, and often don't even show their faces.
Like this guy in Idaho stabbed some people and his face and name was already all over national television, before he even went to trial. There's no way that guy had a fair trial.

I told one of the women, "Snitches get stiches." She didn't like that very much. My nom always hated this too. If it's not co-workers, it's neighbors. Why can't people just mind their own business? I don't know why Americans love ruining other people's lives so much.
I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. But there were many times when I wanted to quit or get fired.

I read a story about some article in Texas. Some black guy at some construction company was having racist comments made towards him, and it wasn't even the black guy who snitched, but a White guy. He ended up having to quit, because even his boss was retaliating against him. But usually the snitches are protected.

[KostasKouvalis]

I didn't know you worked with kids.
YES! There were some schools in the U. S. who were encouraging little children to report their parents if they make racist comments at home. My mom never liked that teachers at my schools would manipulate children into sharing personal family stuff.

There was one guy at my work who said he's gonna call the police on his own daughter 'cuz she keeps taking her car.

Damn, I didn't know that. I'll be sure to stay away from them XD

[KostasKouvalis]

There was some guy who called the rangers because a guy launched his boat from the wrong ramp, and one of my professors said someone called the police on some of his students because they were taking pictures of his house for a project! Another at my campground called 911 because some guy was standing by his car.
I find it so ridiculous because these are such minor issues they could have easily resolved themselves. It amazes me how people are so paranoid and incompetent, and I'm amazed that police even respond to such non-sense.
This South African comedian joked that in Africa if you call the police to report a suspicious person, the police tells you to approach him and ask him what he's doing XD

But yeah, this is something I hate about living around Americans.

But one of my favorite was in Poland, when a car almost hit some cops and they didn't even do anything. They just got startled.

[Metalbarbie]

I never understood this. On Sunday I was at a restaurant and there was a woman in an argument with her partner in the booth behind me. I heard every curse word and every detail coming out of her mouth.

[DishLady]

I'm trying to figure out if it's the salty language or the loud public scene that bugs me more.

(I mean... on a RARE occasion I've had small heated discussions with troublesome people in public, but not raised voices or cursing... it's all very civil and I pick my battles, more willing to walk away than to engage, especially if the OTHER person starts getting loud... it's an instant "Bye, game over.")

[Metalbarbie]

Exactly. It's not uncommon I have had my heated arguments to in public. But depending on the situation I will either say well talk later bye and walk away or just walk away. I won't be there and have everyone listen to my personal life. Especially at a restaurant in my case where people go to relax, eat and have a tranquil time.

[DishLady]

Exactly! There was one couple that got invited to leave bc they were just too loud and there was a place with a "no cellphone" requirement (to prevent loud phone conversations), meanwhile these two were carrying on and on at their table. Very sad.

[Metalbarbie]

Wow 😞

[Summeroflove]

Yeah and people do this ALL the time. I’ve heard people screaming at someone on the cellphone walking around the store. I’ve seen husbands and wives screaming at one another. People screaming at the top of their lungs at their children. The list goes on.

Some people maybe want the attention and others just don’t care whose around them. It’s annoying and people should absolutely keep this stuff in private.

[OfMiceandMen]

I typically don't argue... I am a grown-ass man and I am more than willing to discuss things in a civilized manner, so if she tries to bring on an argument I typically say..."come back and talk to me when you're in a calmer state." I would never start something in public. I've seen this before and thought wow... have some self control.

[DishLady]

Yeah, agreed! Honestly, if I see the argument brewing and it's not something we can talk about calmly I literally just walk away and "take five" -- like giving everyone a time out to calm tf down and come back to the topic calm and collected so we can figure out the logical solution. I don't like public displays like that.

[OfMiceandMen]

Quite often people say stupid, hurtful things in the heat of the moment and once you open that can of worms it's tough to comeback from it.

[DishLady]

Exactly.

[coachTanthony]

No self awareness or manners would be my guess.

[OlderAndWiser]

I never air my dirty laundry in public. There is never any benefit in doing that!

[HawkPerception]

I've never done that in public with friends. With partners, there were times where we got heated about some stuff, but it was never when people were close by. And when it comes to family, they do tend to have a way of getting under my skin and I can't really get away from them, so there have been times where we're basically yelling at each other, but I think we're always aware of our surroundings, because as soon as people are close, by we tend to tone it down.

[DishLady]

No, of course you haven't. You're a smart, dignified guy.

Yes, families can be... a certain way. But see how there's mindfulness there even as you're pushing one another's buttons because you're aware of being in public. That's how it really SHOULD be...

[TommyMountainFigure]

You hit the nail on the head right at the end of your question. It shows a distinct lack of 'class and dignity'

Maybe it has to do with their parents setting a bad example, or they've picked up these bad habits through their friends. Either way, it's not an isolated incident, not by any means. In fact I've seen it myself with my own eyes on more than one occasion!

[molonski2]

Agree 100% ..

Keep private - private.

This is something you see in the street here , pretty much always from Thai women born in a particular sector of the country , a little self respect , air your grievances in private , do not argue and yell in public , utterly horrendous and there are NO EXCUSES , have some self respect , and respect for others.

[sage2021]

Some black girls have really loud speaking voice
We had one in our apartment building and she kept the sliding glass door open and would fight with her family, talk on her phone right next to the open door.
She would go out to the courtyard and sit in the patio furniture at 11:30-1:30 am talking on her phone, having conversations outside with some guy.
I wasn't getting any sleep so I had to tell the property manager about it.
She also said the "F" word every other word.

[DishLady]

Ok, I see your point, though I'm not crazy about calling a person out by their race. Many MANY American men and women from coast to coast do this... Makes a girl want to move to Canada where it's too cold to be outside and argue most of the year...

[lorenzomichael]

Don’t ever do something like that no matter what the situation may be. You’re just going to bring unwanted attention to yourselves. And end up looking like two idiots yelling at each other about a problem you’re having. There is always a place and time for everything doing dumb shit like that, out in public in not that place. However if you know you’re a fucking stupid ass that always says “ I don’t give a fuck.” Well the do what you like stupid ass….

[AlfApAşA]

Arguing is an unnecessary event anyway, but in every aspect of life, from politics to gastronomy, very smart people do not argue or speak badly about others. They only make positive and negative criticisms and mind their own business. I wish all people had this capacity. 😏

[NathanDavis]

many of them not even arguing... they're just loud... lol

[DishLady]

😂😂😂 I have folks like that in my fam… Can’t take them ANYWHERE.

[exitseven]

I always imagined myself breaking up with a girl out in the street in the rain. We stand in the street facing each other, screaming insults at one another until she finally makes an obscene gesture at me and she storms away.

[SamIam96]

When people are hurt and in emotional pain they don't always think rationally. This sounds like one of those situations.

I'm sure they will regret the scene once they calm down.

[Peridot25]

I just get out popcorn and enjoy the show 😂😂 It makes good entertainment.

[DishLady]

😂😂😂

[Juxtapose]

If someone pisses me off enough then we are going to settle it right then and there.

[DishLady]

Yeah, I know this about you already. 😂
But perhaps calmly... and there's definitely something to be said about stepping away from a heated argument to approach it more calmly.

[Juxtapose]

Oh I can be calm and still dress somebody down verbally. With my current calm mind, I can tell you with 100% seriousness that there are people that deserve condemnation. Not the nice kind, but the firm, no nonsense kind. Tell me to my face that I am mentally ill because of my sexual preferences? You have lost my respect and I am not going to be nice unless I feel like toying with you.

[Juxtapose]

Someone like you however has my respect because you don't act maliciously.

[DishLady]

Aww. Thanks, J. You're a sweetie.

[Juxtapose]

Oh no problem you earned that praise 🤜🤛 Thanks for your words too it brought a smile to my face. And I mean that in a platonic way, I know guys can be weird like that where they misinterpret things.

[thomastown]

Some people and cultures just do everything loudly.

[DishLady]

Well... some things loudly aren't so bad, yeah? 😂

But the arguing and drama... it's very disrespectful and shows the person also lacks self-respect.

[thomastown]

Go to Italy and everyone's hanging off their balcony yelling at each other. Could just be making dinner plans.

And yes, some things are good loud 😁

[DishLady]

Ah! Yes, but that's not arguing. Italian and Greek communities do that a lot -- and talk with the hands... Very boisterous communities in general... but it's not specific to arguing and trash talking etc. etc. the way it's commonly done in the US (to shame the other person... to make the yelling person seem like some sort of hero when really they're just being uncouth).

[delsworld]

I do agree but I think the average person just minds their business, if irritated that means you're triggered which involves something of your own.

[HaveNoName]

Hmmm. As me and my wife never argue even in private, doing that in pubic is beyond comprehension for me, but I know it happens. Its people who do not have any self-respect of their own relationship.

[HaveNoName]

And forget about arguing. There is a very common question I hear couples saying here in America... "What are you tallking about? ". I find that question so rude and kind of condescending like you dont think your spouse has brains.

May be its me. I just hate to point a finger at anyone at their face.

[Dongie]

Some use it as a weapon to embarrass the other and some can't control themselves.

[DishLady]

Sure, I get that, but it puts the person doing it in a bad light also...

[Dongie]

But they don't care. They have thick skin without a drop of consideration for others. Or they lost their temper from a very bad remark made towards them.

[DishLady]

But "thick skin" is also what's needed to be strong enough to say "Let's table this for later" or "Let's take a beat and come back to this calmly."

[Dongie]

Yep. The temper as well as hurt feelings don't give a damn at the heat of, are we talking a couple or just friends?

[Dongie]

That should work fine. But if romantics are involved and she says something mean that knows it hurts him, then temper flares.

[DishLady]

I've seen (and heard) it happen between a couple and also between bickering friends. Needlessly loud and ornery. Often with dramatic full-body stopping and surprise, looking around as if anyone around them should stop what they're doing to catch the show... You know? Very poor taste.

[DishLady]

I'm not putting this on one gender over another. I've seen both do it... they're both ridiculous and feed that fire.

[Dongie]

I was using the example from my view point. Not picking a side to either. Both can be assholes.

[DishLady]

True.

[legalboxers]

I dont. I seen those who did. wanted to show they are bigger dicks and narcissistic

[DishLady]

Yes, totally!

[unkissme]

Because they have a total lack of self-awareness or concern for others.

[soe11]

• Uncivilized.
• No decentcy.
• No respect.
• No respect for themselves.

[DJB72]

Common decency is, unfortunately, far from common these days

Like common sense...

[ProbablyClueless]

Because they are mad and physically in a public area.

[Anonymous]

I let those close to me know they did something I didn't like in private.

[Anonymous]

yes why shouting in public... and even why so much louder I have to know as well

[SugarSugarplum]

It's OK they'll post it online later too.

[nawtee_me]

So you can make up in public too…. ;)

[DishLady]

😂😂😂

[MisterWack]

Word of advice: DON’T!

[WhitneySnow]

I agree with you

[OtterMan68]

Why loudly do anything in public?

[TonyMetal___86]

I agree with you miss dish 👍🏻

[pethouse]

They can’t control their emotions

[MrGSpotHer]

Like the protesters and such?

[DishLady]

😂 No. Like people dragging their personal issues outside. (See the description.)

[MrGSpotHer]

People argue loud and on speakers where you are not even protesting?

[eagle1951]

anger, has no control