How old is too old to have a (first) baby?

Question

My man and I are planning to get married in a year or two but we want to hold off from getting pregnant as long as we can. I know the risks of carrying out a healthy baby/pregnancy increase as the women hits 35 and up but I do feel like I want to wait until I’m at least closer to 35. Those who have gotten pregnant in their mid to late 30s, mind sharing your experience with us? Thank you!!

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

May I ask why you want to wait? Do you want kids for sure, or is it a pressure you feel from society or the guy you plan to marry? No judgement here, just trying to understand the reasoning.

One concern is that the risk of having a baby with Down's Syndrome increases with age.

https://www.cdc.gov/birth-defects/about/down-syndrome.html

https://utswmed.org/medblog/age-matters-down-syndrome/

Another is that you may have trouble conceiving at all. If you were to start trying right away, you could be 35 by the time you became pregnant. It's becoming more and more common for one or the other to be infertile and there is no guarantee you will ever become pregnant.

And then there are all the curveballs life throws at us, like miscarriages, autoimmune diseases, and cancer. These are just things to consider, not be paranoid about.

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

there's not many problems related to pregnancy until 40. after 35 is when you could potentially have a harder time (just potentially). you could be more likely to have a premature birth or miscarriage, and have a slightly harder time getting pregnant. but for like 70-80% of women there is no problem at all. the worry about the age range is more societal than scientific. it's really 40 you want to be scared about. in just two three years you go from still decently fertile to near infertile, in your early 40s. as long as you do it your thirties, wether early late mid whatever its all good. its been very common for a while for people to have their first kids in their mid or even late thirties. my parents for ex had me at 36. i know growing up that wasn't unusual at all, many other kids had parents of a similar age

WindAtMyBack · Accepted Answer

I think mid-30s is fine, maybe even early 40s. After that I think you have to count the years and think about what age you'll be when the kid is out on their own. It's not really possible for you to know for sure how this will affect you when you start approaching retirement age.

Some people are fine still having a dependent kid as they get into their late 50s and 60s, but a LOT of people find it very trying. Since it's unpredictable how you'll feel when you get older, or what your health will be like, or if you will even be alive, I think having a kid in your early 40s is starting to get risky.

You don't want to put yourself in a position that you'll resent an 18 year old kid who still lives at home and you just wish they'd get the hell out. Don't think that won't happen, because you don't know that.

BCRanger10 · Accepted Answer

I mean... I have a friend who got married at 38 and had her first kid after. The question I'd have to ask though is why would someone want to put it off for so long (for the record, my friend didn't intend to get married so late). Yeah, there are the health risks, but when you get down to it, you're also minimizing your time with them.

Think about it, if you wait to have your first kid until you're 35, by the time they're your age, you'll be 70. They'll have that much less time to learn from you, their kids (assuming they have their own) won't have as much time with you either. You don't have as long to see your family, and really, your legacy grow and nourish.

So yeah, you could, but why?

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Love is timeless, and so are the adventures it brings, including starting a family! The idea of having a first baby is as exciting as it is nerve-wracking, especially when thinking about the when. While it's true that after 35, there might be a few more medical chats and checks to keep an eye on, many women have beautifully embraced motherhood in their mid to late 30s, having healthy pregnancies and babies.

It’s like having the best late-night party invite - sure, you're a bit more mature, and you might appreciate the quieter moments more, but the joy is just as vibrant. These later years often come with more stability, wisdom, and patience, all fabulous traits for parenting. Plus, the medical world has its magic; with the right care, you can navigate this journey with grace.

Just imagine, by the time you decide to welcome a little bundle of joy into your world, you'll be so ready, emotionally and financially (fingers crossed), making the experience even richer. Love, embrace, and plan for your journey into parenthood with all the excitement it deserves. The stories from those who've walked this path glow with positivity, showcasing that the timing that feels right for you can indeed be perfect. Go forth and love with all your heart, future mama!

DishLady · Answer

35-40 is still considered a healthy range in the present day, however some women have pushed the limit on this one to their mid-50s. Risk of a variety of issues increases the older a woman is -- both for her and for the baby -- so there's still a lot to be said for having children in your 20s-30s if you manage to find a reliable "forever" partner.

Apple1996 · Answer

40 at the very latest so you'll have some energy to keep up with them

Avicenna · Answer

The two women I have had kids with had their first at 34 and 40. Both children were healthy.

Anonymous · Answer

many people will tell you joyful lies about how amazing it is to be an older parent.

reality is... if you want to have kids late in late, you better make sure you are in good enough physical condition and energy to handle the demands of parenting into your late 50s-60s where your energy is waning.

My parents had me late in life 40 years old and they constantly complain about how old they are YET their kids are still nowhere close to being grown. I have also seen this in parents who had their kids in 40s, they are often exhausted and are struggling to cope.

noemiii · Answer

My mother had my brother at 36. I think from seeing her doing this I am convinced to have a baby later in life as well. Sure, there are health concerns to having a child this late, but they greatly depend person to person. My mother had me at 20 and made so many mistakes, vs. my 12 year old brother pretty much has had the best life because my mother had fully matured and because she stayed in good health, she had minimal high risk pregnancy issues. I definitely think it’s beneficial because even if you have a kid at the age you’re at now, most people do have multiple children and you’d more than likely have another child closer to that age, anyway.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

It's not like there's a hard date or anything. Girls are capable of child bearing from their first period through menopause.

It's just that various risk factors are associated with different ages.

Check this out.

Now if you're talking socially, like ooh, look, that 45 year old woman is having her first baby - that's too old... that's a different matter.

LadyBecks · Answer

I had a baby at 36. I did have to have a few additional ultra sounds because of my age, but everything was fine and he came out healthy. I hope everything works out for the best for you.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Consult your doctor, the ask yourself do you want to be 45 with a 10 year old, 51 teaching them to drive. Kids are a lot of work, 38 with a 3 year old will not be easy. But people do it.

nawtee_me · Answer

I was 34 when my first was born and I can say I wish it had been sooner. As much as I wanted to play ball with them as they grew up I was not as young as I needed to be to keep up. I missed out on a lot because of that.

Staximus · Answer

If you want to have kids, have them as soon as you can afford to. Waiting is stupid. Some my friends are going to be 60 when their kids graduate high school.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

If you're going to have only 1 baby you can wait til 40  If you're going to have more than 1 baby then having children in your late 30's is too old.

mobiusforniner · Answer

It’s a personal choice. But I will say keeping up with my kids in my 30s is a lot tougher because I’m not quite as energetic as I was. And at my kids ages now they’re at least communicating and can successfully pour a bowl of cereal without spilling it on the table and floor. I can’t imagine wiping shitty asses, listening to colicky cries, or spending countless hours pacing a hot bedroom to put them to sleep while being in my 30s or heaven forbid, my 40s.

so do consider that….

just_a_potato · Answer

My aunt had my cousin at 41. If you're young enough to get pregnant, you aren't too old to have babies, that's my thoughts on it

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 42 and pregnant with twins... so I hope I'm not over the threshold. haha

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Mid 30s if you are healthy. But sounds like you will not be married by 35

Anonymous · Answer

I wouldn't do it after 30. I most definitely wouldn't after 40.

LiamJHayden · Answer

My mom was about six weeks shy of 45 when her only child was born. I am healthy in all ways except one: I was born with vas deferens.

Anonymous · Answer

The earlier the better. It's not just about pregnancy it's about having the energy you need at EVERY point of the child's development to 18. I would HIGHLY recommend women have their kids in their 20s or early 30s and that men have them all by their mid-30s.

MasterKS · Answer

people make more later, just be cool and enjoy, medical science is way more powerful, you be fine! Age not matters

crazygal24 · Answer

Last year I had to a study-related internship and one of my colleagues had a baby (first child) at 41!!!

exitseven · Answer

We had all our kids before we were 30. Not only is it healthier for the mother but also the mans swimmers are heathier as well

Anonymous · Answer

I assume your man was the one who asked you out and hit on you or courted you

Kelly6 · Answer

I'm 40 and had a baby this year.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

Late 30s to early 40s

Anonymous · Answer

You should start having kids by the time you are 30; and should stop by 40.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

My age

SotiCoto · Answer

Any age. Just don't breed.

Joshgag2000 · Answer

You are never too old

CharlieCutePredator · Answer

40 years

HH1488 · Answer

26 years old.

How old is too old to have a (first) baby?

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