Whats his deal? Is he playing mind games?

[Anonymous]

So, my ex/ son's dad ( who hasn't been involved in 7 years. My son is 7.) He's slowly trying to be a dad to my son. Which I'm allowing at the moment. He told me that he still had feelings for me and loves me. He wants me to give him a 2nd chance. But I don't want a relationship. I told him this. Well, last Saturday he disappeared. No one knew where he was. He came out the next and said he was depressed and went to the creek with a friend. That he turned his phone off. Which I don't know his phone would ring at times and then there were times when you call it would go straight to voicemail. Well he didn't tell anyone where he was. He was supposed to go somewhere with his sister that day and blew her off. Rude! I know. He said he wouldn't do it again. So him and I get along for the most part. He calls and texts me through out the week. Usually texts good morning. Today... nothing. I texted 3xs last night. Figured he fell asleep. He didn't text or call me. So I called him. Cause I thought ok maybe he's depressed. He answers says oh hey. I said him what's wrong he said nothing I'm with my friend. I was like oh ok then TTYL... bye. I hung up. He called back. But I choose not to answer because my anxiety start to race my thoughts and I was probably gonna be rude. He has called again or texted. So I'm wondering what's his deal?

[kylee2437]

I agree with the other answer. Sounds like he’s very mentally unstable and just making his last rounds

[Asker]

So you think he's playing me? What should I do? Call him out on his bs?

[noohair]

Well you have a deal too but you don't see it. Not answering is a deal.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sounds like a guy on the verge of self deleting.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... fuck, women are so clueless and completely lack empathy.

[Asker]

Are you saying he's having suicidal tendencies

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... Yes. Your lack of empathy is a contributing cause.

[Asker]

No I care. But personally I think he's hooking up his other baby momma's friend. And he doesn't want me to know. Even though he's told me yeah she's been messaging him behind her friend's back. How classy. I told him if he was ever feeling down just talk to me. I'm here for you. But he doesn't. He ghosts me. Wtf?

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... no man will ever talk with you about his problems, ever.

[KrakenAttackin]

Not you specifically, but men don't talk about our problems. This is a big reason 600,000 men in the U. S. kill ourselves every year.

[AI Opinion]

It sounds like you're caught in a classic tug-of-war between past feelings and present hesitations, with your ex trying to win you over using a mix of emotional confessions and unpredictable behavior. His sudden disappearances, coupled with excuses about depression and needing space, might be genuine, or they could be a way to keep you emotionally invested by sparking your concern and curiosity. The key here is consistency and communication. His actions, especially ignoring planned commitments and sporadic communication, flicker like a faulty light bulb, which doesn't bode well for reliability in a relationship or co-parenting. What's his deal? It's hard to pin down, but one thing's for sure: if his actions continue to confuse and cause anxiety, it might be worth questioning whether this second chance is in your best interest or if it's just leading to more lovebombing than genuine change. Keep those lines open but guard your heart – and your peace – fiercely.

[Asker]

You're right I am in a tug a war. I don't like it. I'm an overthinker. So my mind goes to this. He either relapsed to old addiction or he's got another girl he's messing with. Because that's what he did in the past. That's why I'm super hesitate on giving him a 2nd chance. Also I don't feel romantic feelings towards him. We hugged and kissed last time we saw each other. And I didn't feel anything. So why do I care whether he talks to me or not?