Why would a woman cheat on a hardworking husband with a bum?

Question

Literally her husband works his ass off. So that she can live the life she wants to live and have nice things. So she can stay home and focus on her children as well as stuff she likes to do. He even helps around the house and with the kids.

To find out she’s been banging the unemployed 20 something year old pot head for months.

What would drive a woman to sleep with someone like that? Cheating is bad enough. But why someone with zero ambition in life? It’s like putting salt in the wound that cheating is bad. But with a loser? Why would you do that. She could have at least found someone better

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Because she's selfish and she wants to have it all. Essentially, she has low morals and values. A lot of people do these days.

My question is: what did you to to vet her morals, values, and life-goals when you first met her? Because that's something everyone needs to do before they commit to a relationship with someone. And if the other person doesn't have the right moral, values, and life-goals, then you move on and you don't commit.

It helps to think of your relationship as a TEAM, and that BOTH people put the TEAM before themselves. This also means you need to talk to each other about the state of the team and the current goals of the team, making adjustments as new information or new problems come to light.

I understand that you were working hard to provide, but if she's not working equally as hard to better the team in some way, then the team doesn't have balance, and you can't let that kind of problem go. There needs to be balance, and because life isn't balanced, you both need to be compensating and adjusting often.

As hard as you worked to provide, you have to take some accountability for not keeping her participating in the relationship and perhaps for not adjusting your priorities to meet her needs. Women are not men - they aren't "set and forget" and you can't come up with a schedule and a process that will continue to work forever like you can with a man. You've got to understand that you're dealing with a person who has very different needs and priorities from day to day, and you have to be able to adjust.

I'm not saying that she wasn't wrong - she absolutely was - but you inevitably came up short in several ways too. It sucks, and we've all been there.

Next time, vet any potential partner thoroughly, based on their morals, values, and life-goals, and if you don't get the answers you need, move on and don't waste any time trying to make it work. Everything else can be perfect, but if morals and values aren't there, you end up right where you are today - which is why they are so critical to get right.

Once you find someone, treat the relationship as a team, and understand that the relationship will be like a 1930s car: it's going to constantly go out of tune and will need frequent attention to keep it running well, and there's simply no avoiding that. Set REASONABLE expectations of lifestyle. If you are killing yourself so that she can get her hair and nails done, you're doing it wrong. Figure out what your NEEDS are, then make a budget for "nice to have's", and if she chooses to spend her budget on hair and nails and can't afford to buy new clothes or take a vacation, that's HER issue, not yours. Remember that if you are working 50-60 hours a week, it won't matter if you bring home $100M a year, she'll be lonely and eventually she'll be looking for someone to take your place, so focus less on earning money and more in finding the best balance between money and time with her.

HighValue · Accepted Answer

Did she have a past of casual sex? People with bad morals make bad choices. Look at the women trying to blame the man in the comments. They expect a man to do far more work AND give lots of attention too. They are the same type with bad morals too. Don't listen to them. Only immoral people cheat. There is NO excuse for it.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the age-old tale of seemingly mismatched attractions, right? Let's sprinkle some insight into this mystery. When the partners seem like polar opposites, it's often not about the resume comparison game. It could be about the thrill, the escape from daily routines, or finding a missing puzzle piece in terms of emotional or physical needs. Sometimes, it’s the allure of someone being radically different, offering a break from the predictable life. It's not about the hardworking vs. the bum scenario but more about what this other person represents or provides in the moment. The heart (and, let's be honest, sometimes just the hormones) doesn’t always follow logic. It's a wild ride of seeking out what’s missing, even if it doesn't make sense to the outside world. Let's not overlook the complex tapestry of human emotions and desires. It's not just about finding "someone better," but rather someone who, in that moment, makes her feel a certain way. Love and attraction are a complex dance, swirling with feelings, needs, and sometimes, yes, a dash of rebellion. 🌀💔

kylee2437 · Answer

Hey I’m personally happy on my own so being with a hard working man is no problem, however a lot of hard working men forget that you still need to take a woman out on dates and be present in your relationship. And I’m not justifying cheating , I’m just making a point that a lot of men get carried away in their hard work to the point where their relationship is getting neglected.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I have heard of this a few times. One situation that I know of is of a lady who was married to a physician and they have a kid together. She was banging a "guy from the ghetto". After the doctor found out about it, he divorced her. The wife got the house, (and the guy moved in), plus $120,000 a year between alimony and child support.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Because men who work hard tend to not have a lot of time for their woman. Women get lonely easily and if she is a hoe it's easy for her to go out and cheat with a guy who is a bum and has lots of time to give her attention lol

Sasquach · Answer

That's rough man, cheater suck.

Try to take it as a learning experience though - there's something she felt she was missing that she saw in another. You might be able to buy a mansion where the side piece couldn't, but he could provide her with something else you didn't. For your own benefit, try to abate your frustrations and become introspective. Focus on improvement here

Alli112 · Answer

Why does anyone cheat and how do they pick their partners?

Why: loneliness, emotional dissatisfaction with their partner, physical dissatisfaction with their partner, boredom, I don't know what else

How chosen: availability, attraction, convenience, feeling desired, etc

I think you should probably focus more on the cheating problem and less on the "with whom"

avery58 · Answer

The same reason a man would cheat on a good and loyal woman with a wh-re. They just have terrible taste, are superficial and make bad decisions.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

did this hard working man secure her needs? Did he talk to her? Teeat her as a companion and partner and a woman not only staying home mother?

Anonymous · Answer

Being hardworking doesn't make you a good husband.

Anonymous · Answer

Man, don't try to apply logic to try to understand why women do the things they do. It doesn't work!

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Christianity I guarantee you, that most Christians, cheat

Why would a woman cheat on a hardworking husband with a bum?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Why would a married woman wants to cheat on her husband, who is a perfect 10 and wants to cheat with fat unattractive dude?

Why would a woman cheat on a hardworking husband with a bum?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Why would a married woman wants to cheat on her husband, who is a perfect 10 and wants to cheat with fat unattractive dude?

We're glad to see you liked this post.