What does it mean when an ex wants to be back together, because she felt "disappointed by being single" ?

[nik0102]

Updates

1 y

Should I accept that after many lovers, I am the one she really cares about, and get back together?

[hahahmm]

Two possibilities:

A.) Means she had tons of sex with dudes who she thought were better than you but none of them would take her seriously like you do so she is now willing to lower herself to your level & allow you to buy her nice dinners, give her gifts, take her on trips, be her shoulder to cry on for hours while she whines about how hard her life is & so on. She wants the traditional benefits you gave her that she couldn't get from all the guys who did stuff to her that she doesn't even let you do to her. Of course the less time she was away, the less dudes she probably gave rides to.

B.) She was living in a nunnery, praying for 8 hours per day. Eating homemade soups with all natural ingredients and staying away from all Internet, tv and cell phones. Just praying for God to show her whether you are the right man or not.

[nik0102]

Well I always felt like she did not like doing stuff with me, that she was comfortable doing with others. How did you know lol?

[hahahmm]

Like 99% of women do the same stuff. To different degrees. It's like they are all the female Terminator robot with identical programming. Some have been reprogrammed to be our friend. Most have not.

[hahahmm]

But of course, there's people who claim every woman is unique. Now from a female POV maybe they think similar about us but.. I only know from the male POV.

[nik0102]

But why not feel as aroused with me?

[hahahmm]

We can only speculate. Could be a huge number of reasons & I don't think you should make your #1 goal in life to make her happy. Men end up being happier (and more confident) when we focus on life goals that don't revolve around women... which also, as a side effect, attracts more women. But if you want to go down the rabbit hole of trying to get inside of her head... consider a few of my mytakes -- keeping in mind, it may or may not apply to your situation -- like:
Equality in a Relationships & Leadership ↗
On Needing Women & Love in the Modern Age ↗

bonus read:
A Note On Giving Trust ↗

[nik0102]

I will check it thanks. I wanna be respected and not chucked like this

[hahahmm]

Let me know what you think

[Alli112]

It means she liked the state of her life and wellbeing when she was in a relationship compared to when she was single. It's lowkey a selfish motive in my opinion (because it's about how she feels about her circumstances as opposed to how she feels about you)

[nik0102]

Am I overreacting if I feel used?

[Alli112]

Nah, I'd honestly probably feel the same if a man came to me saying "I liked my life better when I was with you, let's get back to together" as opposed to "I miss you, I realized you're a more important and bigger part of my life than I realized and made a mistake by giving you up" etc. I'm not saying your ex is necessarily a terrible person, and may have just miscommunicated her feelings (so if you're actually interested then maybe considering talking to her and trying to understand what she meant), but otherwise, I'd call bs and stay away.

[nik0102]

I asked her and she said she doesn't want to talk about it. She felt uncomfortable elaborating. Just that she "felt disappointed ". After 4 months of being back together, she asked me to have an open relationship

[Alli112]

Ohh so you're already back together with this person?

[nik0102]

We were. At some point in the open relationship she said she doesn't want to go on and we haven't seen each other since

[Alli112]

oh, so this was a previous problem. gotcha. but yeah, for future reference, that's not a great motive for restarting a relationship.

[WhitneySnow]

Being single wasn’t as great as she thought it was gonna be

[nik0102]

Would you feel OK, or that you ate his or hers plan b though?

[WhitneySnow]

I would not feel ok. I would feel like I was their plan B. I would not take them back.

[nik0102]

I did. After 4 months she said she wants an open relationship again. 10 days after that she had sex with someone else. I felt completely used

[WhitneySnow]

You should totally dump her

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle some understanding on your question! When an ex says they want to be back together because they were "disappointed by being single," it's like saying they miss the comfort and familiarity you brought into their life, not necessarily you for you. 😏 It sounds a bit like they went out, tested the waters, and found them colder than expected. It's important to consider whether this reason feels good enough for you. Does it make you feel like the grand prize, or more like a comfy safety net? Love should feel like a choice, not a consolation prize. So, think about it, do you really want to be someone's plan B, or do you deserve to be someone's undeniable first choice? 😉