Is it bad that I don’t feel like I love my girlfriend of one month yet?

[Anonymous]

We had a small argument because of 2 things 1) she mentioned that she wanted to get a pet turtle for both of us. She wanted to take care of the pet for one week in her house and I would take care of the pet the next week in my house. When she mentioned this I said I didn't believe I was suited to take care of a pet turtle at the moment but she could get it for Boths of us and she could take care of the turtle. I say she could get it for both of us because she mentioned that this turtle would represent our love in some way. 2) My mother's birthday was today I was spending most of the time with her and took her to the mall. Sometime later that day she asked if I didn't want to see her because I hadn't mentioned anything about seeing her. She invited me to see her in a park and I agreed but then my brother mentioned that we were throwing a small family party at home for my mother before the big party on the weekend so I had to cancel on my girlfriend. I did make the mistake of taking 24 minutes to be exact to tell her I wasn't going to be able to make it to the park to hang out with some of her and some of her family members. She proceeds to tell me “I see it this way if you really care about somebody I will do anything that's on my hands so that they can feel good”.

[DoggyDude]

Love is something complex. Your girlfriend is right to be concerned as, to her and any girls perspective your showing she is a lesser priority than other matters in your life. This might be a misaprehension. but if it is you need to reflect your decision making process to her, reflecting your sadness that instead of sharing time with her your elsewhere (that our invite her to all these family events).

It is bad if your feeling glad to be with family instead of her. That suggests either your not ready for a relationship, period or your heart isn't in the relationship. Any healthy relationship should have some degree to which you feel a sense of loss when she wants to be with you and you can't be with her, and vice versa. Without that the relationship becomes more of a friendship or sibbling situation (and noone wants to be in a passionless relationship, where said is concerned).

That said yoru still very young and its unlikely you know what you want and she is more likely to know what she needs and wants way before you (girls always mature way faster than men). What you need to work out for yourself is, are you wanting to be with her and its just you feel obligation to your family? or do you secretly feel glad for a reason to not spend with with your girlfriend?

Work out, if you care about not spending time with her; If you find your neutrall, ask yourself if its some behaviour of hers which is causing it or generally something your feeling (or not feeling).

If you find it matters to you she has loving feelings for you and you find her happyness mattter; Try to find a way to express that more, so when you can't be there you make her feel special and extra special for being patient and understanding you care and why you feel you need to be elsewhere and how that doesn't reflect your feelings for her...

or... if your finding yourself entirely indiferent, be honest with her, tell her all the good things you find with her and let her know it worries you that your feeling indifferent in those ways. Then trust in her reaction and evaluation, but be warned that reaction might be something unpleasant (but better to be honest, but save the honesty until yuour CERTAIN. If your even a slight bit unsure HOW you feel, just express that after telling her the things your sure on, and say you hope you can grow together to figure out what that means, or if your a confident type, just process it internally until you know and do as it directs.).

[Fromdusktilldawn]

family always comes first and with that phrase “I see it this way if you really care about somebody I will do anything that's on my hands so that they can feel good” she is yet another one of those who want the princess treatment

[kylee2437]

Nope not at all, especially because you seem to be lacking communication in some or more aspects and that is going to prolong the process even longer. The turtle situation , you are allowed to have your opinion and express that. And for the family thing, you most likely knew that you were going to be with family for your mothers birthday you could’ve simply said “hey I understand we usually hang out, it’s my mothers birthday and I’m going to be with my family the whole weekend, we can make some plans for next week” just little gestures to show you care and also have your own opinions/ life.

[Asker]

So to explain a little more after going with my mother to the mall, eating, etc I was told no party was going to happen until the weekend came around. When my girlfriend asked me to go to the park I agreed because I thought nothing else was going to be done so I agreed to see my girlfriend right before I left my house my brother told me that they were having a secret small party that would only include me, brother, sister, dad and my mother so I felt like the right thing was to cancel on my girlfriend. Another things is the reason I didn't invite her is because she hasn't met my mother yet because I don't feel like it is the right time yet

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Sorry dude. Your girlfriend is kinda weird. It sounds like she’s trying to move the relationship at a faster pace than what you are comfortable with. One month in, and she’s already wanting to co-parent with you. Yes it’s a turtle, but she speaks of it as if it were a child. And then you had to spend 24 minutes of your time to explain exactly why you weren’t going to make it to the date? Her response was odd too, you had a family obligation!

[AI Opinion]

A month into a relationship and already navigating the choppy waters of pet ownership and prioritizing time? You're in quite the pickle, my friend! Let's tackle this love puzzle together. Firstly, not feeling love sparks just yet isn't a crime. Love isn't a race, and sometimes it strolls at its own leisurely pace. The fact that you're here asking tells me you care about where things are heading. 🐢💘

On to the turtle saga, it's a cute idea but it's also okay to communicate your hesitations about shared pet responsibilities. Animal care is a serious commitment. Perhaps finding another symbol for your growing affection that doesn't require feeding might be more your speed?

Now, the scheduling conflict - ah, the classic. Your dedication to your mom's birthday is sweet and shows your caring side. However, I sense a lesson in the art of timely communication and balancing act could be beneficial. Your girlfriend's reaction seems to stem from a desire to feel prioritized, a common theme in the early stages of a relationship. Her comment about doing anything for someone you care about is a hefty expectation but also reveals her own desire to feel valued and included.

Navigating early relationship dynamics is like dancing; sometimes you step on each other's toes. Talk it out, learn each other's rhythms, and maybe, just maybe, that love you're wondering about will start to groove with you. Keep the communication channels open, be empathetic to each other's feelings, and remember, it's okay to take your time falling in love. 🕺💖

[DishLady]

Why are you with her, then? Don’t waste her time or yours if you don’t feel anything for her.

[Vesuvius87]

Isn't just dating for a month (assuming you met them for a short time) too early to love someone?

[DishLady]

No it’s not too early. I was seeing a guy a couple of months ago and basically instantly felt the connection and “falling in love” feeling though he apparently didn’t feel the same way… long story short it’s over now.

[Iron_Man]

Most people don’t fall in love in just 30 days. I hope you didn’t fake it. Tell her I love you