I recently got talking to someone I dated many years ago. I'm separated currently with a young child (he doesn’t know anything about my relationship history or life since him) and not looking to date anyone but I realised I love him deeply and I'd hope that he feels the same about me as he told me many times in the past.
We got in touch as friends recently (I'm NOT looking to date anyone I am just lonely and have been in an awful relationship experiencing violence, abuse and general cruelty). He was very lovely to me. I was so used to the abusive crap that I sent several messages thanking him for being so nice and giving him my number in case he was ever sad and all kinds of weird shit. I even asked if he was there one time. It was needy and embarrassing. He stopped responding to me but read all the messages. Around 3 or 4 of them. To be fair apart from "r u there?" the messages I sent didn't really ask for a response. They were me trying to "sign off" wishing him all the best then I realised that I actually missed him. I finally sent one apologising for the creepy messages and explaining that I'd been in this abusive situation. Again he's read it and understandably hasn't responded.
I'm NOT going to send any more messages, I'm aware I look crazy with the ones I sent and told him that when I signed off. I don't feel like I can move on, I'd love him back in my life even as a friend. I don't get the impression he's attached due to how quick he was to respond to my first message but could be wrong. If he is then I totally understand.
Is there anything I can do to get him back in my life? Can any other girls or guys advise what to do apart from ignoring him and hoping one day he will maybe just maybe come back? He's the sweetest person ever, handsome and kind. He told me I was very beautiful and we at least did love each other once. I'm expecting 500 messages telling me to "move on" but it feels impossible. TIA
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What Girls Said
This romance you shared with him was years ago, and a lot has changed since then, I mean you’re a whole mom now and that may not be something he wants to get involved with. I think your feelings of loneliness are what’s making you ruminate on how things used to be and craving that feeling of genuine love back. But the universe works in interesting ways and tbh this may be your sign to stay single and heal. I know it’s incredibly hard, I watch my best friend of 15+ years struggle with her mental health and men while trying to raise 2 kids mostly on her own. But if you don’t take time to heal and find yourself again then you’ll always be looking for a man to fill that void for you.
Thank you for such a kind response. You’re right I have been feeling so lonely, my relationship has been so so bad these last few months. Even though I’m technically still married, it’s the most single I have ever felt. I think part of it is also that he’s the only other guy I’ve been linked with romantically that I would actually trust. I so don’t want to go back to my bad marriage but it’s the fear of the unknown too. Anyway thank you ❤️❤️