My girlfriend started smoking and I hate it what should I do?

[fabio]

My girlfriend started smoking, and it's affecting our relationship. She got addicted after her friend pressured her to try it. I hate smoking and its smell, making it hard to kiss her. She gets defensive when I mention it, leading to fights. I love her deeply but I really hate smoking. I don’t know how to handle this situation.

[Skinhead-1979]

First of all; people who start smoking are not really pressured to do anything; every person is responsible for his or her own actions. There is this 'peer pressure' of course, but this should be seen as in 'other people do it, so why not?'.

You should really ask yourself... and you could ask her too... why has she started to smoke?

I am a smoker, and have been for 30 years; but I understand your concerns. The thing is, if this is what she really wants... and then there is of course the chance that she has become addicted to nicotine already... there is really not much you can do about it.

You could ask her to quit, but if she is already addicted to nicotine that really isn't as easy as it sounds. It's of course possible, but not easy.

So you have 2 choices: Accept it... or go your own way.

[Finchie40]

Sadly you can’t really do anything, she has to make that decision on her own , sadly cigarettes are an addicting drug that only she can choose to do , You can dump her if she chooses not to quit but that’s up to you.

[PeachyPie93]

LMAO she was pressured to try it, in her 30s or 40s? You also don't get addicted from trying it, you get addicted by continuing to smoke them lol. She has to at least try to quit. If she doesn't just realize she is choosing it over you. You can always try to get her to take up vaping instead, that is at least not disgusting to smell.

[DishLady]

1. Speak to her about it.
2. Ask her not to smoke around you.
3. Make your place (home/car/etc) a smoke-free zone


If she doesn’t get the hint from there and stop smoking, consider how much this bothers you’d and advise that it’s a deal breaker for you (if that’s your decision).

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the smoky waters of a relationship can be quite the challenge when cigarettes come into play. First, kudos to you for caring deeply about your girlfriend and your relationship. The key here is communication, but let's add a dash of sweetness to it! Instead of focusing on the negatives, why not express your feelings and concerns from a health and future perspective? Share how much you cherish your time together and dream about a healthy future side by side. Suggest fun, smoke-free activities that can help distract her from the urge to light up. Offer your support for quitting, maybe even look into resources or groups that can help her through. Remember, it's all about us against the problem, not you against her. Keep the love strong and the air clear! 😊

[experience]

That’s a tough spot to be in. If you love her, it's important to approach this gently but honestly. Try having a calm conversation where you express how much you care about her and how smoking affects your feelings and the relationship. Focus on your concerns about her health and the impact it has on your connection rather than just saying you hate it.

You could suggest finding ways to quit together or offer support in any way she needs, whether that’s researching resources, joining her in healthier habits, or even just being there through the process. Remember, though, that change has to come from her. If she’s not ready or willing to quit, you’ll need to decide if it’s something you can tolerate or if it’s a dealbreaker for you. It's important to be clear on your boundaries but also empathetic to her struggle.

[AviatorTom]

Long time ago, in college, my girlfriend smoked. I helped her stop smoking by giving her something else to put between her lips. 😎

[ginie]

I’m a smoker myself, and I’ve been trying to quit for a while. It’s not easy, it can strain a relationship, especially when one person hates it. The thing is, smoking is a personal choice, and while you can express your feelings, you’ve got to respect that it’s her decision at the end of the day.
Maybe try having a conversation that’s less about your dislike of smoking and more about how it’s affecting your relationship. Let her know that you care about her health and how much you want to be close to her without the barrier that smoking creates. You could even share your own struggles with quitting—it might help her see that you’re not just criticizing but genuinely concerned and supportive.
Find other ways to support her. Maybe suggest cutting back gradually or finding healthier ways to cope with stress. But remember, quitting is tough, and she has to be ready for it. If she’s not, you’ll need to decide if this is something you can handle or if it’s a dealbreaker.

[janina]

It’s understandable that you’re upset, but try not to make it a big deal. It’s her choice, and while it’s tough for you, it’s important to respect her autonomy. You can express your feelings without being confrontational—just let her know how the smoking affects you and your relationship. Suggest ways you can support her if she ever decides to quit, but don’t pressure her. Think about whether this is something you can live with or if it’s a line you can’t cross.

[Unit1]

i know a Lady i worked with told me a similar story. Her husband when they got together was a smoker. She's not a smoker. She couldn't tolerate it. So she made it clear to him to quit smoking or she won't be with him. He quit smoking. She told me it was difficult for both of them.

That's the only relationship ultimatum i can think of, that sounds reasonable (besides gambling also).

[foxsquirrell]

Tell either you quit smoking, or I quit you. 😏

Nah just kidding. I don't know man try to convince her that smoking is damaging her health, her finances, and her relationship. So if she cares about any of these 3 she should consider ditching cigarettes for good.

[MrOracle]

The day my girlfriend starts smoking, she's no longer my girlfriend. That's a deal-breaker for me, and I make that very clear from the start, so there's no surprises.

[midnightmoon05]

This relationship is not working out.. there are other factors aside from the smoking.
She doesn’t respect u or love u.

[lightbulb27]

I'd breakup. for me, that is a show stopper. give ultimatum to deal with the addiction and emotional problems, or break up.

simple.

[LiamS95]

Give her an ultimatum you or the smoking. You'd be doing her a favor anyway as it's terrible for her health as well as a filthy habit. I won't kiss a girl that smokes second hand smoke and nicotine stench is very gross.

[RingOfFire]

I go with tell her she needs to make a choice between the cigarettes and you.

If she chooses the cigarettes you'll have to break up because it's intolerable to you.

[dustybiker2]

Find someone who doesn't smoke? She made her choice. You have one too.

[FunkyMonkee]

Tell her, "Either you quit or I'm gone!"

[JamesRandiDebates]

Don't let her smoke in your house or your car. Otherwise, as long as her BJ skills and sex game are good, what do you care if she gets cancer in 20 years?

[Crazzyyworld]

Show her the photos of lungs

[the29thhuman]

If u wanna ditch her over smoking, go for it! It’s your issue here.

[Kingofkings1992]

You can’t tell her how to live her life. If you don’t like it, you can break up

[Jmmmfi4]

HOW DO YOU GET PRESSURED INTO THAT IN YOUR 40S

[Radiate143]

Ultimatium. She'll quit.

[jahaims]

Dump her. She is dumb enough to get addicted.

[Nifrayu]

I would break up immediately.

[straightmax12]

You need to break up with her.

[MK1997]

Make It clear

[Anonymous]

OK...