The world is so jaded today that it's hard for some people to accept the chance at happiness when it's offered. It's perhaps easier for some folks to understand misery... to get satisfaction out of whining and complaining about life's misfortunes and drag others into their state of misery rather than to get out of their funk and seek opportunities for true and lasting happiness...
Thoughts?
1. There are people who think the world has a conspiracy against them. When you talk to them, they immediately start going on and on about the latest bad things that happened to them. Their landlord or neighbors are mean to them. Someone jacked them around. It never ends. After while, you wonder why people are mean to them. Are they causing these things themselves?
2. There are doom and gloom people who watch the news and are constantly in fear over the latest headline - a drought, flood, earthquake or fire somewhere in the world; covid, climate change, terrorism, WWIII, ...
There are legitimate concerns, but these people are prone to feel constant anxiety and are the most easily manipulated.
3. There are people who thrive on indignation and moral outrage. It's their identity. These are the humorless SJWs who find politically incorrectness everywhere. They think it's their mission to seek it out and loudly protest. They want everyone to be as miserable as they are.
There are valid issues to be outraged over, and some are worth taking action. But these people I am referring to aren't happy unless they are virtue signaling their wokeness. It makes them feel morally superior and empowered. It's the only thing that makes their lives worth living.
Yes, I 100% believe that some people just don't want to be happy.
One example that comes to mind is a girl I worked with during high school. Here's a list of things she had going for her:
And yet, despite all that, she was one of the least happy/pleasant women I've known. She always had something mean to say, something to complain about, and something that made her angry. Always. She had the classic victim mentality.
She was Hispanic by blood, but looked and acted more like a spoiled white girl than anyone I've met. I remember her complaining that she was treated worse at the workplace because of her race, and I reminded her that most of the company's leadership/management was in fact from minority races (myself included).
I eventually decided that she was just never going to be happy and stopped trying. She left a few weeks later.
I believe that most of the people who complain about misery are happy because they get their satisfaction from playing the victim and having people feel sorry for them. And on the other hand I also believe that most people who say they are always happy are actually delusional and trying to convince themselves that they are in fact happy. Happiness isn't what life is all about. There has to be balance. You can't be happy without first knowing the feeling of misery.
And people who don't chose someone else's perceived happiness doesn't make them not wanting to be happy. Take relationships for example. Mine have brought more misery than happiness to my life but maybe yours has brought you more happiness than misery. So you would believe that a relationship would bring happiness but to me I would think the opposite. Does that mean I don't want to be happy if I choose not to be in a relationship if one presented itself?
Personally I don't look for happiness. I'd rather have peace. Happiness is subjective and temporary along with every other emotion.
There are 2 uses for unhappiness.
1. to motivate you to make changes in your life.
2. to garner sympathy and attention.
I think a lot of people have found that 2 gives them a lot more bang for their buck.
Western society has progressed along these lines.
- Monarchy: everyone wants to be king, everyone else is a serf
- Democracy: everyone is equal, everyone has a say
- Republics: everyone has a say, but the common man has protections so he can't be trampled by the rich and connected.
- DEI: everyone must pay obeisance to the most disadvantaged, by race, sex, delusion, and any other perceived intersectional disadvantage.
So in todays world, unhappiness equals POWER over others.
Opinion
31Opinion
u Some people seem to get more consolation from self-pity so they view themselves as miserable victims. And perhaps their self-image is so bad that they believe they deserve to be miserable. It seems to be the only way that they know.
I agree. There is a time to grieve. Sometimes we as humans need someone to talk to. Need a shoulder to cry on. Etc…. But some people are professional victims.
See most people tend to want to get through the hard times. Not relish in them. Unfortunately that’s what some don I think some are narcissistic too.
Narcissists you’ll notice want the world to pity and feel sorry for them. But they never want to deal with anyone else’s problems
It is sad
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32614222/
Everyone wants to be content. People find contentment in a wide variety of circumstances. It IS true though that misery loves company. So it often feels like everyone is jaded because the jaded project themselves more than the content do.
That’s why i wrote “content” instead of happy, and supported it by suggesting that people find contentment in a variety of circumstances. Pessimists find contentment in their pessimism. I’m a pessimist. I’m more comfortable assuming the worst and being occasionally pleasantly surprised than i am by assuming the best and frequently being disappointed. Everyone seeks contentment in their own way. Not everyone finds it. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell those who have from those who haven’t. Ell oh ell!
It depends on how you define happiness. Your definition is probably on the opposite of my own definition.
To me, happiness is to live my life the way I intend to and not to be in a relationship because they tend to make people unhappy. Just read at the numerous posts here about people cheating on others while in a relationship. I believe that GaG is a pretty good mirror of our corrupt society and relationships are a great part of why people are unhappy.
So why would I have to join this bandwagon of unhappy people?
My happiness is my single life, my daily bike rides, my hiking in the woods where I can be one with nature. Nature is what makes me happy, not people.
As I've said before on here and in general, people like to bathe in misery like a pig in slop. Look at the media-giants, misery sells - the only good news is bad news. If it ain't sad or death related it doesn't sell.
That's why I don't even watch the news anymore and it's improved my overall mental state dramatically.
It’s not that they don’t want to feel happy it’s just that they can’t feel happy. I don’t know what it is a lot of people love being professional victims especially when their life isn’t that hard.
That is NOT to say because someone else’s struggles are worse that theirs aren’t valid. It’s just that we have a lot of people who bitch and complain, then get the desired attention.
It’s all over TikTok oh my gosh my life is so hard. I live at my parents and don’t have a job. I’m a stay at home mom and I got so exhausted I took a nap all day…. My husband who works 70 hours needs to help around the house. Oh poor me I work at McDonald’s and someone was rude to me because I messed the order up and was rude first.
You’re welcome 🤣
There’s a lot of them here on GAG. They tend to be angry when you burst their bubble even if you’re trying to be helpful and post a honest opinion.
They tend to want people to tell them what they want to hear as some way of validating their feelings, actions, etc. Not wanting a honest answer.
Yes I really think so.
On the one hand, I find it impossible for anyone to want to be upset, yet on the other I see it happen regularly. Its as if they enjoy complaining about something to the point that can't live without being miserable about it.
It could well be. I've had more time to digest it and yes, I think you're right.. If someone expects something to go wrong, they may feel it softens the blow, where as someone who doesn't accept defeat, will constantly believe there is a chance. Therefore as you suggest. Optimism vs Pessimism!
Congrats.. Give YOURSELF the MHO lol
Glad to see this. This has been on my mind lately too, as I know someone in my real life who is exactly what you describe, and I'm so sick of them. They've been in this funk of self-pity and misery for so many years and I just wonder how anybody can live like that for so long.
I’m not sure if this is meant in a general context or relationship whose. Assuming it’s the latter I do believe there is a not so insignificant percentage that are that way. But I think most people who come across negative or blackpilled have just been burned pretty hard so they’re afraid to take anymore chances when they view their life as good enough.
Thanks for your post!
Yeah, true, but there are many who have been burned badly who still took the time to do the emotional legwork to heal... and who took their time to try to find someone who "meshes" well with them.
Some guys and gals to the therapy, the reading and research, the self-improvement... all of it... and they come up balanced and ready to tackle a new relationship. Not because they've never been burned, but because they went through the much-needed self-care to recover from their trauma.
it's all mentality, either you have problems and make excuses or you have problems and you find a way to solve it. Some people have messed up the way their brain is wired due to so many excuses lacking accountability, looking at the darker side instead of the brighter side etc, some people have dug themselves so deep for some they genuinely don't want to be happy for others they don't know how to be happy and as for me the whole word could be against me I'll still pop out with a smile on my face.
Yea i dont like to be around people who are constantly pessimistic. Its okay from time to time but i want the majority of the time to be bubbly, cheery, happy, and filled with hope and faith for a better future/outcome
Thas why I want a guy whose willing yo rpay with me. Men who believe in God have this optimistic sense of faith and hope that is just so warm-hearted and comforting. Its a must gor me
*willing to pray
happiness is subjective
who's to say that miserable people aren't happy?
they love filling their own heads with lies and propaganda and are in complete denial like a drug addict high on cocaine, meth, anti-depressants and BC pills
Everyone wants to be happy but not everyone takes action to be happy.
maybe because action not working pulls them more towards the ground.
just an opinion
I think a lot of people are like that, they either don't want to be happy or don't know how to get out of their unhappiness. My mom is like that. She's perpetually poor poor pitiful me. Makes it impossible for me to want to have anything to do with her. These same perpetually unhappy people also refuse to take responsibility for their feelings, choosing instead to blame everyone and everything but them selves.
Unfortunately I have to agree with your entire question and it bugs me as well. I personally think so much of this is caused with all this different social media crap available and all those that let themselves be sucked into it.
Uhh I think there is a human element to being apathetic about living conditions. And religion doesn’t help preaching about suffering. Obviously they're selling to the poor.
Some people are eternal victims and no matter how many boons life throws their way, their mindset is the prison that keeps happiness under lock and key.
I think people want to be happy. What I think is really happening is that they are so used to bad things happening in their lives that they are more emotionally comfortable being unhappy.
If someone realizes they're unhappy, they need to understand that changes need to be made. And then make those changes. Not always easy, but necessary.
Realizing the need AND making the changes. A big challenge but I think it can be a life saver (emotionally and in a lot of different ways).
I don't know. This isn't the case for me tho. I want happiness and company. Help me prove it.
I think it gives a lot of people a sense of purpose to be angry all the time.
😂 I'm glad I can help 🤷♂️
Happiness comes only in small doses like a cigarette or well cooked steak. Anything more isn't happiness it's delusion
The question is as old as humanity. When he was with the cripple at the pool, Jesus asks him if he wants to be healed. Some people can't imagine life without their problems.
My best friend was in the restaurant business. He had to deal with all kinds of jerks. He used to say that some people just want to have a miserable time.
I think. some people are addicted to drama and chaos.
m more likely, afraid... of what implies
losing it can be devastating
Yeah, they self sabotage out of fear or for attention
The world seems more jaded these days seems accurate from my perspective as well. But I don't know, misery loves company and miserable people are very vocal. I blame social media for it
They are scared and have low self esteem. They think they deserve to suffer I guess.
It's known vs unknown.
They're used to being miserable, they know how survive but being is the totally new situation they will face and happiness can also fade away at a moments notice.
of course. The people I volunteered with - they were full blown anal, and everyone else around me.
I think women especially get addicted to the thrill of a toxic boyfriend. I've seen women jump from one abusive man to another over and over. Good men are boring to them.
1. I dont think you know what misogyny is. 2. I never said men didn't do it. 3. It's a fact that most women who have abusive relationships have more than one. But keep coping.
It often seems that way…
Absolutely 100% correct
there are people like that
it wouldn't make you a good person for sure
Maybe sometimes
Happiness is equal to weakness in my book
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