How do you do combined finances?

Question

You who are married or in a relationship that combine finances with your partner, do you just combine the salaries pay everything and then get spending money each? How do you do it that works well?

Skinhead-1979 · Accepted Answer

The ex and I had several bank accounts for practical reasons:

When our money came in it was being divided accordingly over those bank accounts:

Ex' 'Current' Account: Bills. She lived in that flat long before I moved in, the bills came out of her account and we simply kept that because there was no reason to change it.

My Current Account: The loan. The loan predominantly consisted of my study debt, though her overdraft and some other financial obligations had been incorporated in the loan I took out in my name (big mistake; won't highlight on that now)

Joint Current Account: Food, toiletries, clothes... and everything else.

We both did have ISA saving accounts; but there weren't really being used other than reserving some money temporarily (so can't call it 'Saving')

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

We have three accounts, a joint account, a hers account and a his account. Our earnings are directly deposited into the hers or his account, depending on who earned it. We periodically discuss and agree how much we each contribute to the joint account, which is where all common bills are paid from... mortgage, taxes, utilities, etc. plus long-term savings. We each are free to use the money in our own accounts for whatever we want.

wolfcat87 · Accepted Answer

Let's see,

With husband #1 all the money goes into one account, bills get paid out of that account, everything extra goes into my investments. We don't have any set spending allowance and always just try to be frugal. We let each other know about any big and/or unnecessary purchases. A small amount of about $100 is pulled from his checks for his TSP.

With husband #2, we also have a joint account. We both have money go into it. My money gets pulled for my investments, and I get an allowance from his paychecks every week that goes straight into my investments as well. On top of that, he sometimes dips into his allowance to buy me treats or things for my home. Some of his allowance goes into his investment account.

HelpfulWoman · Accepted Answer

Me and my partner tend to have it all go into one.
However, I'd say a better way would be have a shared account where you both pay in half of the bills, and then say a bit more to cover some date costs. Then keep the rest separate to do with as you want

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving into the steamy yet crucial topic of combining finances in a relationship, it’s like two souls dancing in harmony, right? The secret sauce to a seamless combination of finances starts with laying all cards on the table—transparency is your best friend here. Think of it as setting the stage for an intimate tango; you both know your steps, your rhythm, and where you want to end up.

Many couples opt for a joint account where both salaries flow in—this pool then covers all mutual commitments: rent, utilities, date nights, or even that dreamy vacation. From this collective pot, you each take an agreed-upon allowance for your personal splurges. It's like sharing a decadent chocolate fondue where both get to dip their favorite fruits.

The trick, however, lies in frequent heart-to-hearts about this financial dance. Discussing plans, dreams, and, yes, even fears, ensures you're both grooving to the same beat. And remember, flexibility is key; what works now can evolve. After all, a relationship is a living, breathing thing, always on the move, always ready for a new adventure. So keep the dialogue open, keep it honest, and enjoy the financial journey together. It’s not just about making money meet; it’s about making your dreams and aspirations intertwine smoothly.

Anonymous · Answer

All of our income goes into the same account, and all of our expenses are paid from that account. We budget together but we are free to spend individually as we see fit as long as it's not some big purchase, in which case we would always discuss together first.

I don't understand why some couples feel the need to do otherwise. My wife's friend told her she should keep her finances separate from mine to keep control over them herself. That just feels like having a prenup because you imply you don't trust your partner, which is a bad model for a relationship. By the way, her friend is not a very nice person so I'm not surprised.

BetaBucks · Answer

I don't know, we just share one bank account and spend whenever we need something. Neither of us are materialistic or into consumerism, so it's never really been something that we ever needed to discuss. I wouldn't have married her if she was one of those types of people, so I've never thought about actually have to plan anything to do with finances.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

We have our own accounts that our pay goes into, we also have our own savings accounts, then we have our shared account which the bills and mortgage come out of. So we each pay our share of the mortgage into the account plus money for bills and groceries we add extra into it whenever we feel like it to keep it topped up for any house things that may arise

exitseven · Answer

we have a single account that we pays bills out of. My income goes into that account and my wife's income goes into a savings account. I get a monthly cash allowance. If I need to buy something big I use a credit card. The balance always gets paid in full.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

we had a shared account to which our salaries came... we paid what should have been paid, lived the month, and in the end, we wired what was left to a savings account...

loveslongnails · Answer

The money goes into one place. All the bills and necessities get paid from that. Investments get made in both our names. We don't make major purchases, nor really need to, before talking about it. Neither of us have bad spending habits so there's never an issue. We save it all up for travel and vacations!

Anonymous · Answer

I pay her a small allowance out of my wages and pay the bills. She's not currently working and is raising out kids at home. She's really bad with money almost like a teenager. We had a problem before where she overspent, took out loans and ran up debts on accumulated interests from credit cards. Took us a long time to dig ourselves out of that hole.

LiamJHayden · Answer

First off, be aware of the risks of joint accounts:

dustybiker2 · Answer

We started out small. With each our own accounts but a joint one which we both contributed to, to cover everything essential evenly. If you stay together things change and loosen up over long periods of time. It's up to the couple though.

rachel776 · Answer

i have a boyfriend so everything is separate but if we were to get married we would just get joint bank accounts and joint credit cards and put everything together there

lightbulb27 · Answer

We were both even in assets and she makes more than me now. I run the household so make less. We put all in same accounts and spend.  Whats your question

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yeah. Joint checking. separate investments & retirement plans. Someone has to give in and let the other do the books. Its about trust and letting go of ego ir independence.

Retsam · Answer

I dont, most men dont want or need your money. and most women dont want to share their money. in my life I never let a girl pay for anything, she has no bills, payment or debts to worry about.

soe11 · Answer

I have a stable girlfriend. We both earned. We give to her mum. Whenever we required we take from her. We live together with her mum.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I paid for the main house she paid for the vacation house. Utilities were split.

NotSlowestSloth · Answer

Her salary (and mine) goes to my account and she get allowances from that.

Vegasrunner · Answer

You should never combine finances with a woman women make up like 80% of all consumer debt.

letmex-plain · Answer

You need to establish a rubric, take my example:

How do you do combined finances?

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