How do couples navigate financial mistakes?

[Rocky07]

My fiance and I are having trouble navigating financial mistakes. Like this year we've had over 2k in scams, "free" trials, and make money fast opportunities that didn't pan out. My fiance made all these decisions and he brings it back on me like "well we made these decisions together because I convinced you to let me do them" and I wanted to put faith in and trust in him but now I know he just isn't very financial savvy and that's okay. I know couples make decisions "together" but also like how would you navigate this? I'm so tired of working 2 jobs to make up for his short comings and I'm soooo drained. I don't want to say anything that accidentally comes from a place of exhaustion.

[caring__1]

The more we respond to scam messages, the more scam messages come our way. They love selling their mailing lists. Become partners rather than just let him handle the finances. Be a sounding board to help both of you explore and discover what's behind the opportunities. Think and plan ahead rather than hope a windfall will land in your laps.

Budgeting is very helpful. Keep track of all money coming in and all money going out. Categorize your expenditures and determine what is a realistic amount to spend in each area. Live within your means. Unless an emergency, never spend more than you've allotted in any area. Don't spend because of a sense of entitlement or feeling you need to prove something to your partner or it is just something you've always done. I've never had a great income, but I've saved and spent wisely, so I have acquired significant assets by spending wisely... always thinking ahead rather than for the moment.

Learn from your past choices. Look at cause and effect and come up with more effective choices for the future. Never repeat past dysfunctional pattern, no matter how big that lottery jackpot has grown. Slow and steady will always win the race.

[Effably]

If I am understanding you correctly you do not actually mind this trait of his but rather it is just the burden caused due to instability that bothers you?

If so one easy solution seems to be to attack this from an entirely different angle. It sounds like you have a shared economy.
What if you both made a budget. Contributed to it. Covered expenses, some degree of savings and then also made a category for investments, opportunities and so on. The thought being that in doing so you can both easier manage the workload, plus financial clarity and accountability is a good basis for sound decisions.

Becoming savvy in business is largely a matter of experience. Acquiring that is a bit of luck and risk. Minimizing the risk and making sure it does not cause extra strain is good common sense. As a bonus it also makes it easier to make said investments with less of a "gambling" mentality.

[Rocky07]

Thanks I really appreciate your help. We have a budget maybe I just need to stick to it better and enforce it with my partner. I know investments can be risky, maybe we just need to learn together what the right kind of investments are so he doesn't fall for the fake ones. And yeah I accept it, we all have our flaws, but there's room for improvement too to learn from our mistakes. thank you!

[Effably]

That is already great! I hope you are not being tolerant with me. Transparency is super important. Get that habit early and it will help you both a lot.

But I would reiterate and stress the point of making a separate column for investments of different kinds.

I would also suggest you both make some. And make some safe ones too. Real estate, some safer stock options etc. After all 10-20 years down the line that can be an extra salary that none of you work for.

And of course, a few high risk ones are fine too. But being scammed well, fool me once, fool me twice. Its a useful song.

If you know you have exactly 100$ to use for it, that makes it easier and can make spending that 100$ fun and stress-free.
At some point passive income really is the way forward. You can always copy what others do though. You do not need to reinvent the wheel when the design already exists.

This might be my own economy education talking but: The budget is holy. Don't violate it, ever. It is a matter of principle. Change it if needed but don't compromise around it. Your partner will need that same understanding. You need a baseline.

[Jessica405]

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is a scam. Examine all incoming messages, emails, etc carefully. Watch out for wrong punctuation, capital letters in the wrong places, and spelling mistakes.

Never click on anything you are unsure about.

Sorry to hear you have been scammed. Hope it stops.

[Prettygurl12]

Y'all need to get on a budget.

Here

[exitseven]

Start by not letting him make these decisions anymore. Suggest that you set up a schedule where you save a portion of your income into a separate account and eventually invest in something more secure.

[Anonymous]

Dump him find someone who isn't doomed to be poor forever more