I share a bank account with my SO. I also dog sit on the side (every couple months). My SO argues that whatever extra side money I get should go into the bank but I think otherwise. Thoughts?
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+1 y
I appreciate all the responses from different age ranges
Why in the world would a boyfriend and girlfriend share a bank account?
I suppose if you were renting a place together, you could open a joint checking account into which you could both contribute your half of each months rent and utilities, and then write a checks out of it when it's time to pay bills.
But I would NEVER add a girlfriend's name to my personal bank account. Nor would I ask to add my name to hers. That opens you both up to leaching or even theft. My bank account is mine. The amount of money I have isn't any of her business. I don't care how much money she has, either.
It's a completely different story if we are married. At that point, all of our money belongs to both of us for our household expenses, our fun, and or future.
You need to put that money in your shared bank account , your money is his money and his money is yours , you are a team not one sided , if you want to be one sided your relationship won’t last , cuz resentments will set in, Ask yourself what do you really need that extra money for? Are you secretly being bad with it? Are you paying for your lovers hotel rooms and buying your secret lover gifts? Think about it , what you are doing is wrong , how would you like of your partner was secretly hiding money from you? you have a joint account for a reason, you are a team. , you and your partner should be each other’s number 1 priority over everyone , if you want your relationship to survive you need to remove selfishness period
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+1 y
My SO is a car guy and buys $700-$1000 upgrades when I can't get a spa day $150. He's someone who says we shouldn't be spending anything then makes an excuse for why he had to get a $300 item over paying for bills. I don't see it as hiding money I see it like I get what I work for. I'm not sure if you've seen under one of my responses but I work a full-time job and a part time job and don't get to see my check after it's all said and done. We both make about the same.
I didn't want to mention any of what I said in the beginning because I was trying to get unbiased opinions. We have a joint account because he owes banks money. I am the primary owner of the account we share. He doesn't even has his own card. So technically his check goes into my account every month and he just spends it.
If I was a b**** , which I don't believe that I am I could take all the money and disappear but I'm not sure if that could ever happen considering there's never sustainable money in the account.
I'm just looking for other options that work for other people to avoid a leech
Well it sounds like you need to open up a can of whoop ass on your partner for spending money on that shit and if that’s the case then he needs to hand you the same exact money that he is spending on useless shit , if he can’t do that then you need to kick him to the curb
you don't also have your own account? like i get the shared account (IF YOU'RE MARRIED). but that should be for you two placing money into so you can get bills paid, get groceries, etc... not to put your whole pay check in. you need to have your own account too or else this is how you get controlled or taken advantage of, as i am sensing in your question...
I don’t carry a check book. I write one check a month. All my checking accounts are linked to my utility companies. I check my balances daily if not more. I pre pay half of my electric bill twice a month which allows me to keep a credit on my account. Got to have electricity. I have a digital check register to keep track of my expenditures and to budget for the upcoming pay period. I carry cash mostly, rarely use the debit cards issued by my banks, too risky. I have a pre paid debit card I load every payday to use online, I also use it to pay for doctor bills, medications and so on. I do incur transaction fees once in a while, not much, but it beats running up credit card debt. I also use it when out and about. The prepaid debit card is my disposable income. What ever I have left after paying bills, goes on my prepaid. I use most of my cash to buy groceries, and whatever is left over I use to offset anything that would zero out my pre paid balance. I have X amount of dollars I transfer every payday to an online high yield money market account which yields me about 4% apy.
there's many issues from this and the law is different depending where you live. Lets say you pay 90% of the bills and your SO contributes almost nothing. If you split up they can get half of everything.
My wifes coworker was upset her fiancée demanded she pay 50% on everything or they wouldn’t get a house. Even though he earned considerably more.
I know people who have separate accounts but they seem to fight about it all the time. My coworker said he was looking for something in his wifes closet and found an envelope with 10k. Never asked her about it because he didn’t want a fight.
There's no way in the deepest pits of Hell, or on on God's green Earth, that I would ever wanna have a shared bank account with someone, whether they're a girlfriend or a wife.
I know that women are able to walk into a family court and can flip a man's life completely upside down with just a few claims. I know that women are especially advantaged in the family court sector, and I'm more than aware of the special advantages and privileges they have in the judicial system. Because I don't wanna lose more than 50% of my assets and what I've gained in my life, I'd never have a joined account with a woman.
Call me an asshole all you want, but I do things to protect myself.
If you 'share finances' then ALL of the income goes into one account irrespective of its source.
Also does your SO have side jobs and where does he put the cash from them. I'm willing to bet that previously any money he got from side jobs went into the shared account, and I can guarantee that that will not happen from here on in, and do not be surprised if in the near future he wants to split finances.
Personally I'd have an account, the SO would have an account, and there would be another account that we'd both contribute equally to for all of the house expenses, water, electricity, gas (if you use it for heating, cooking), house insurance, maintenance/servicing of appliances, etc
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+1 y
No he doesn't have any side jobs or additional income. I'm the one who wants to separate accounts due to irrational spending. I want to separate accounts but he believes that if we don't have a shared account that we are not "one" or truly together.
I'm a huge fan of your idea but he thinks that would be too much "work." I just want to save and he wants to spend
That is usually something I make known at the beginning of the relationship. My regular pay cheque can go towards the bills etc., in a joint account, but any additional funds I make are mine.
My main reason, is it gives me some money to buy things on my own accord, which would most likely be things for her and/or the both of us. I like to be able to gift her something and feel as though it came out of my pocket and not something she contributed to in a joint account.
You should not be sharing a single bank account. You should have a joint account for joint expenses that you both contribute to, and keep the rest separate. The amount contributed is subject to negotiation, but the partner who earns more should contribute more.
this is both of our second marriage, and we have a fairly large income disparity. I also do not agree with how my wife runs her finances, so we each put X amount of money each month to cover all of the household expenses, and the rest of our money we just get what we want. We have yet to argue over money which is just fine with me.
Ask yourself why you are holding something back from your relationship. Also ask him why he wants access to what you have earned on the side. Ponder the answers.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Three separate accounts. One for bills or goals such as new furniture. One for each of you for your little wants, or fun money, or to save. If you two are going to share as you are doing now then I think all finances should go into the shared account. Besides you’re not even married, no way I’d share an account w a girl if I wasn’t married. Not even sure if I’d share a 100% accessible account even if we were married.
if you are married, I recommend having a shared checking account. If you aren't, consider contributing to common funds for joint objectives, but avoid combining finances further unless you are married.
It's a recipe for arguments. You only need to have a shared account that cover your shared expenses. And if you are good at retaining your resources that account should be small.
I would never share an account with a boyfriend.. Hell I didn't even share one with my husband.. he just put money in my account when I wanted or needed something...
Insufficient data. Do you both make the same amount and work the same hours? Does he makes more and put it all in the joint account? Do you make more?
Anyway, you should both have your own accounts.
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+1 y
Yah we make roughly the same amount but he makes about ~$100 more than me monthly. I work 2 jobs, one full-time and one part-time so I work more than him. The joint account is the only account we have.
The reason this has come up is because I feel like I can't buy anything but there's always a "good reason" for him to
I think you should have your own private account for your needs. Maybe a joint account for bills. But never put everything in joint account. Just in case S/O takes money out for things you did not agree upon.
I think it makes sense to have some personal money for hobbies etc rather than having to constantly ask your partner if you can get a wax done or buy a piece of clothing or buy a new game.
Through that kind of hell in a world, that is dominated by money i don't intend to risk it.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
I think EVERY relationship has thier own dynamics and are therefore unique. So some work best with shared finances some work best with split finances. As long as both partners share in RESPONSIBILITY then that's all that really matters.
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