Should I confront my narcissist partner of 3 years for giving me silent treatment over a ridiculous argument he picked? It’s been 8 days so far?

[Anonymous]

I sent him a “hope all is well” text a few days ago, he left me on delivered for hours so I deleted it. Still no sign from him.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

No. If he's actually has clinical signs of being a narcissist and ticks all the boxes, there's nothing you can do. You'll keep getting hurt over and over again.

If he is truly a narcissist:

Get a new place and move without giving him the address, change all your passwords and banking information, make sure you have all of your identity theft protection in place, etc. Inform any mutual friends that you are ending it, and that you will need to reconsider your friendships with them if they attempt to "fix it" on his behalf. Make sure you leave behind anything he has given you or thinks he gave you (even if it's actually yours) to avoid an accusation of stealing. Take time-stamped photos of everything to ensure that he cannot effectively accuse you of trashing anything. Then inform him that you can't live with this behavior any more and you are ending it. Immediately block him on all platforms. He'll freak out and blow up your phone, so make sure you have a different phone with all your contacts ready to switch to as soon as you send the message. Set up a support system, get a therapist, and write a plan for healthy things to do as you recover. You may need to file a restraining order if you think he will harm or threaten you. You'll need evidence of possible harm, so save the text messages if he threatens revenge or violence. Be tough, but fair, and hold the line. Don't allow anyone to get inside your head.

However, if you are just tossing the term out there because you heard it one day and there are a few things he sometimes does that sort of fit the profile, that requires a second look. Tons of people (often narcissists themselves) immediately call someone a narcissist because they do something immature or selfish. But NPD is an actual DSM-5 diagnosis that is an extreme personality disorder. Everyone has some narcissistic tendencies, but it doesn't mean they have NPD. See the previous paragraph to understand just how serious it is.

If it's normal stupid, immature behavior, just tell him you want to talk about the argument and try to clear the air. If he doesn't respond, try one more time, and tell him if you don't hear back from him, you will assume he is no longer interested in a relationship with you and break up with him. Take charge and don't let him bully you. Apologize for things you could have responded to better, but do not apologize for things you know are not your fault.

Just my perspective...

[Aubrey97]

Confront? Sounds like you're better off just getting rid of him?

[Skinhead-1979]

If you have the strong suspicion your partner has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, why stay with him?

While theoretically you can live with a Narcissist, you will have to be very strong to be able to endure all the narcissistic abuse and come unscathed out of it all.

There's only 1 way to deal with Narcissist: Leave, save yourself.

[sawno]

Could also silently move on and only reply if he had a really good reason for being silent.

[AI Opinion]

Diving headfirst into the tumultuous waves of love, aren't we? 💘 Confronting a narcissist partner, especially one giving the silent treatment, is a delicate dance between asserting your feelings and guarding your emotional well-being. Love should feel like a cozy, warm embrace, not a cold shoulder fest. Here’s the dish: Your feelings are valid and deserve to be heard, even if it feels like you're serenading a wall. Consider a direct yet calm approach, expressing how this silent treatment is affecting you. But remember, sweetheart, it's crucial to brace yourself for any outcome – change isn't a guarantee with a narcissist. If you find yourself singing solo too often, it might be time to ask if this is the duet you want for your life’s soundtrack. Love should lift you up, not lock you down. Keep your heart’s melody vibrant and true! 🎶💕

[IslaTheWitch]

I would confront him in the first minute of silent treatment, as it doesn't solve a problem, it's just a way to punish you...

[itsannalee]

If you already know he is narcissistic, please just move on. It would just hurt your feelings over and over.

[HelpfulWoman]

NOPE END IT
not fucking worth it

[jahaims]

No, you should break up