My boyfriend keeps asking for more and more space. At what point is it too much space?

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone! My boyfriend and I got into a mild argument this morning and he ended up saying he needs more space from me (not for a moment but in general) because I take up too much of his time. Before this, the issue of space has come up several times and I respected and listened to him. I don’t text him anymore unless it’s important and I don’t call him unless he calls me first. I always offer that he doesn’t have to spend weekends with me (we’re semi-long distance) but he always says he wants to. But despite this, he has brought up several times that he wants space, he wants time to play video games, he wants to call his friends, etc, etc (which I’m okay with unless I need to talk about something important). I only get to spend an hour of time with him a day, and even then, he’s playing video games or scrolling on social media not talking. I don’t want to overwhelm him but I also feel so rejected and alone. I try to find things to do to fill my time but there’s always a part of me that misses him and feels like I’m being pushed further and further away. Is this a sign he wants to leave me but is doing it slowly, or am I doing something wrong in this situation? Why do men ask for space and what are they expecting from their partner when they ask for space? I want to learn and be better but I also want clarity on the situation.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh girl, I'm sorry you're going through this confusing situation. When a guy keeps asking for "more space" it's rarely a good sign for the relationship. A few things that stand out to me:

- The amount of space he's already created is a lot - only an hour together a day with him on his phone the whole time is basically like you're not together at all.

- He argues and gets annoyed when you need attention, which makes you feel rejected and alone like you said. That's super hurtful and unhealthy dynamics.

- Guys usually only ask for this much space when they're checking out emotionally or wanting to distance from the commitment gradually rather than confront the issue.

My advice would be to have an honest talk with him about where you both think it's going. Let him know the current set-up feels more like being pushed away than being in a loving relationship. Pay attention to his answers - if he's vague or keeps blaming you, that's not a good sign.

You deserve a partner who makes time for you and makes you their priority, not one who keeps pushing you further to the sidelines. Don't be afraid to consider if this relationship is really meeting your needs and making you happy long-term. Hugs girl - you've got this!

[NOTHINGEVERHAPPENS]

I’m always skeptical of people who always want space in relationships. I didn’t force them into the relationship. They knew that a relationship would mean less space. So…what?

[dudeinohio]

It's important for "downtime". My wife respects this. Of course we live together and see each other for many hours a day. I still need a few hours alone after I get off work.

[animesenpai]

A 1500sq foot apartment seems appropriate