My boyfriend watch’s hentai what do I do?

[Anonymous]

I (16f) found out last night that my boyfriend (18m) of 10 months and literally 1 day watch’s hentai. I was trying to tell him how I about him not giving me attention and stuff like that and it snowballed into something much bigger like me finding out he watch’s hentai. I started crying my eyes out and I feel gross. He told me that he has been watching it for a while and that honestly broke me. The amount of times I’ve looked in his eye and said I loved him and held him and told him many things he’s been keeping this from me. I let him kiss me and hold me and he made me feel like a fool. He knows I have extremely bad trust issues from my last relationship and he decided that he would keep thing from me. I feel unloved, unattractive to him and I feel gross and many other things. I really love him but this hurts me. I feel like it shouldn’t hurt this much but he made me so blond and naive. I told him so many things about me and he was the first guy trusted in a long time. I keep thinking “why me” “do other people do this” “he told me he loved me was that a lie” “am I not enough for him” etc. I don’t know what I should do anymore. I feel like I’m being over dramatic but I haven’t slept at all. I know no one will probably read this but I needed to get it off my chest. If someone is reading this what should I do.

[CalmUntilAbused]

Okay... There are a few possibilities here.

The first, and the worst, is that he's a hentai addict. In this case, especially if what he watches is of the hardcore variety, You should run and not even look back.

The second, somewhat better, is that he's somewhat inept about all this "love" stuff and seeking inspiration. If what he watches is somewhat wholesome (as far as I'm told - never had the urge to check it myself - contrary to most Western porn, hentai can sometimes basically be a serious, wholesome slice-of-life story, just with some additional erotic content), it's fine, but he has to be at least partially cut off or he might become an addict.

The third, probably the most wholesome, is that he's lusting over You, but since You're only together for just over 10 months and out of genuine affection and respect for You, he decided to channel this lust towards some pictures. I mean... It's not regular porn, it's hentai. As long as it's nothing extreme... It's not exactly photorealistic in the first place. So... It's not like he considers You unattractive or that You're not enough for him (in this case, he'd go for actual porn, not animated hentai), he just needs an outlet since he's lusting over Your, but he respects and loves You too much to outright defile You (or at least that's how he sees it). I've been told a few times that if a boy does not show his lust for a girl, she might start thinking she's unattractive for him, even if it's the very opposite. I guess it actually does happen at times. And regarding him keeping it a secret from You... We all have things we are simply far too embarassed to confess about, and especially if his intention was not to cause You any mental harm, it would be pretty considerate of him to hide it.

[thearchjoker]

Yes you are being overly dramatic, all the men you will ever date will watch porn. This is because women's sexual drive isn't even close to that of men meaning that that pent up sexual energy will have to be released. Hentai is one of the top 10 most popular genres of porn for both men and women (tough its much more popular with men) and is generally a mainstream genre these days.

Its unfortune but our biology is different and just like you have your needs so does he. If he isn't doing his duty as a boyfriend due to hentai than the best solution is to talk to him. be BLUNT about your feelings but also understand that he has his needs that depending on where you are in the world you may not even be able to legally alleviate at this time. Explain to him how you feal and why you feal the way you do and be open minded enough to listen to him as well. Do not panic just be honest and patient. Before you talk to him have expectations for what you want to achieve in this conversation whether it be that he watches porn less or have him focus more on you. Remember when taking to men you HAVE to be BLUNT as they will not read you're mind and may misinterpret your words so leave as little as possible up to interpretation and make what you want CLEAR to understand. Set your expectations strait as he will not fully abandon porn for you as the two of you might not always be able to do the act and if you two are parted for a extended period of time its better he sharpens his sword to porn than leaves you or worse cheats by jabbing it into another woman.

[KittyWirld]

Hi, I get what you mean except for my relationship it’s vice versa, with love my boyfriend stoped watching all of that. I say just talk to him and figure out the source and reason as to why he’s doing this and when he started, if it was before you guys got together or after? Figure all this out, any questions you have ask him, have a serious sit down conversation, if he really loves you he’ll try to be understanding and make a compromise of some sort or stop. Honestly follow your heart and do what you feel is right to you. This is just my advice and opinion, you don’t have to listen to what I said but don’t worry girl you are beautiful, special and amazing so if he doesn’t see that then that’s a him problem not a you problem. Always love yourself and take care of yourself, watch movies, hangout with friends, I know school isn’t the best sometimes but turn it into a game and get tasks done, remind yourself how special you are, and have fun while your still young and don’t waste your time with people who don’t cherish you. I hope all goes well and I believe in you! :)

[laly520]

ig u need to break up n focus on urself n school

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, your feelings are totally valid here, and it's clear you're in a whirlwind of emotions right now. Trust and communication are the twin pillars holding up the temple of love, and it sounds like one just got a bit shaky. Before diving into the deep end, remember, discovering your partner watches hentai isn't an uncommon scenario and doesn't necessarily reflect on how they feel about you. It's more about personal preference and habits that existed long before your star-crossed paths intertwined.

However, let's focus on mending your heart. The first step is an open, calm conversation where you express how this revelation makes you feel without casting blame. It's essential to communicate your feelings, your needs, and your boundaries. Ask him to be honest about his habits and discuss why he feels the need to keep this a secret. Understanding each other's perspectives can often bridge the gap between hurt and healing.

Remember, questioning your worth in the light of his actions is like comparing apples to spaceships – totally different realms! You're not in competition with an animation; your worth isn't determined by his habits. What matters most is how you both move forward with understanding, respect, and love for each other's feelings. If the trust can be rebuilt and communication flows openly, there's a path to stronger connection ahead. If not, it might be a cue to reflect on what you truly deserve and desire in a relationship. Always prioritize your well-being, lovely! Lovebombing yourself with self-care and knowing your value is key. 🌟

[Finchie40]

I agree that hentai shit is some weird shit , but it’s only a cartoon, You shouldn’t get that bent out of shape over it , it’s just a cartoon , if you catch him masturbating to it’? then yes you should dump him if that’s the case lol If he tries to get you to dress up as a dragon or some shit Run lol

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I mean, hentai is definitely a little weird but your reaction feels a little hypocritical.

If I watched that shit, I wouldn't tell anyone no matter how much I loved them tbh. That's embarrassing as hell.

And it sounds like he might have somehow said this out of anger which is even more confusing. I think as a general rule you should remember that when people become emotional they become irrational. And as irrational as this triggering your trust issues is, he probably wasn't being rational when he brought it up. Before you jump to conclusions, you should organize your thoughts.

Why does it really bother you? Because it doesn't make any sense for you to feel unloved to learn this. Grossed out I can understand a little.

But you told him a bunch of personal stuff and he stayed with you and showed you love right?

Just going off what you said, it sounds like he had a moment of honesty with you, opened up about something he was obviously insecure about. Even if it was unintentional, you have to imagine what you're going through right now might be similar to how he felt about things you've told him.

In any relationship, especially love, we have to rationalize and forgive and look past and learn to accept aspects of people maybe we don't understand or completely like.

[HawkPerception]

Lol you're clearly young. It's really not that deep. It's cartoons so you should feel even less hurt by the fact he watches it. It's not real girls. I used to watch it when I was younger too. It's just different stuff that stimulates you in a different way. He's not cheating on you or anything by watching it. What I will say though is that if he's an addict where he'd rather watch hentai than be with you physically, then there's an issue. But if there isn't, you really shouldn't let this bother you.

I'd hate to say it, but I do think that you're acting pretty immaturely and overreacting. When you're older, you'll realize how small of a deal this is.

[BetaBucks]

GAG has taught me that your last sentence is 100% incorrect 😂

[HawkPerception]

@BetaBucks ya know what I take it back. You're right. Common sense and maturity ain't so common 😂

[BetaBucks]

Lmfao 💯

[BetaBucks]

Pretty much every dude you date for the rest of your life is going to watch porn. Unless you're one of the rare females with a higher libido than the guy, and manage to never be away from him. It's not a disrespect to you/women. It's only a problem when guys neglect their "relationship duties" because of it. And since you two are not sexually active, it makes no sense for it to bother you. He has these needs and he's taking care of them on his own until your relationship is ready for you two to handle them together. Please don't respond to this part, but I'd assume you also take care of your own needs. I doubt he'd be devastated over this basic concept of human existence.

As for the topic of hentai... I'm with you. It's weird. I'll never understand it. But I also don't care because no one is harmed by this fetish. Hell, no one is even involved in it because it's not real. Be more worried if you find out he's into sadism content, or something.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In for a topic that goes way beyond the initial distress of the asker, I don't think porn and hentai are as harmless as that, I take for evidences the numerous statements of distress, related to porn, written by guys on porn sites. Something is at play here, and I'm interested in porting this topic, as you can see ;)

[RebelinSteel]

(Okay age thing aside), in any relationship there needs to be respect, this is how we treat each other, our expectations of each other, limits and boundaries. You need to explain that you do not like what he is watching, explain exactly why and how you feel over it. In any relationship there needs to be Trust, Honesty, Respect, Communication, Consent, which all forms the relationship, giving both an equal standing. Part of all that is not having the other manipulate us, this can be done by making a person feel unloved, by making them feel worthless, be very aware of that, by doing that it is easier to manipulate a partner. If he does not stop watching you need to tell him it’s over. You need to think about you and protect yourself emotionally and physically while in and out of relationships. Taking the age thing back into it, I believe you need to end it with him. Going from one relationship where you have trust issues, to one that has potential to have same or more.

[Anonymous]

Break up with him. He's not the kid for you. This is way too much too soon. You are both young, he's watching too much porn, and this is going to be a detriment to you, this relationship. Get out now.

Next relationship, hold off getting sexual with guys. You need to make them wait, you wait, and assess them better. Guys are going to say you are one of those girls who choose bad boys who treat you badly, and then you complain that guys don't respect you and treat you well. Which may or may not be true. Maybe this kid's lied to you. But you also need to take half responsibility for settling for this behaviour. You don't need him in your life. He's in it for the sex, not for you. Sorry to be blunt and straight to the point, but that's likely the reality here.

[Serkee]

Sorry you had to learn it this way, but most guys watch porn, especially at that age. It's totally normal. It doesn't mean he loves you any less or that he doesn't find you attractive, he's just a hormonal teenage boy with constant annoying urges that don't go away unless he takes care of them, and he needs some material to help do that.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I feel your distress :/

My gut feeling: Get out of here now, as this site features a lot of individuals and views that you cannot filter or comprehend yet, and certainly even less when you are in such distress.

Please talk to your friends, open up to them, they live in your world, not us, sincerely

[Nik1hil]

When you are +18, You need to sit and watch hentai with him.

Dear, Hentai is just anime + erotica.

Hentai is better than porn, it has a good storyline and proper music instead of people moaning like bulls.

[joshjosh1156]

I don’t fully understand the issue. What’s wrong with him watching hentai? It should only be an issue if it’s become an addiction and he’s paying more attention to it than he is to you.

[Berethor]

What the age of consent where you live? anyway it just hentai, it don't counts as cheating.

[Twalli]

I watch hentai and I'm engaged. I don't let it affect me being with my fiancée. That's what you have ro ask yourself. Does his animated porn affect his ability or willingness to spend time with you? I only watch it when my fiancée is at work.

[DrPepper12]

If that's his kink don't judge. If you can't reconcile this part of his sexuality then your not compatible

[Pohjolan]

Hentai is basically just victimless porn and he's 18.

Most guys at that age will watch some form of porn especially as how easily available it is nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Chances are he loves you just as much as you thought. He's young and full of hormones, you're even younger and lacking in experience. Doesn't sound like a big thing to me.

[Anonymous]

He’s a kid it’s not manly and you shouldn’t be having a boyfriend below 18

[Unit1]

You don't know, that boys watch porn? You sure sound like it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to get involved in it too. Cosplay dress up for him.

[Juxtapose]

Oh grow the hell up!

Every guy watches porn, you're gonna have to get used to it.

[Staximus]

There are much worse things that he could be doing, you're making a big deal out of nothing

[OddBeMe]

Eesh. I’d ask him to watch less and less. If he doesn’t leave.

[Anonymous]

Just let him watch, it's harmless.

[dudegreat91]

Watch it with him, its fun

[slatyb]

Grow up.

[Cheerfull009]

Leave him , he doesn't love you, just bluffing

[gorydetails]

break up.

[RedInnocent69]

Learn Japanese?

[Rossaskme]

Normal