Are inappropriate texts with someone other than your partner considered cheating?

[coachTanthony]

[Anonymous]

It's not cheating, unless you believe the bible.

This question is part of a horrible newfangled trend of comparing something that you don't like to something substantially worse, which avoids your responsibility to actually come up with reasons why it's wrong.

For example, people might call others racist for opposing slavery reparation policies. The definition of racism is belief in the inferiority of another racial group, despite evidence to the contrary. The opposition to reparations does not fall under this definition, therefore it is a cynical play to call people who oppose reparations "racist." It just expands the definition of racism into absurdity.

Similarly, the definition of cheating is "sexual relations with someone who is not your current boyfriend/girlfriend." Sending flirty texts is not that. So, if it bothers you, make a case to your boyfriend/girlfriend why they shouldn't do it.

Otherwise, you're going to go down this rabbit hole where everything from sex with someone else to not spending enough time together is "cheating."

Jesus says in Matthew 5:28 that lusting is adultery of the heart "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart." However, if you're both having sex outside of a marriage relationship, you're both guilty of sexual immorality anyway, and would be hypocritical to cite biblical morality, here.

In sum, "I don't like it" Does not mean that A = B. You need another reason. You could cite the Bible, but you'd likely be a hypocrite for doing so.

[coachTanthony]

Never let facts get in the way of a juicy controversial post. ~Coach T

[Opinion Owner]

What do you mean?

[DrPepper12]

No. Cheating is A physical act. It's inappropriate and raises questions but it's not cheating

[coachTanthony]

finally lol

[dustybiker2]

Some of the things @sirderpsalot123 and myself say could be taken the wrong way if our signif others didn't know us. We can be pretty hilarious in private. My overheard roaring laughter more often than not spikes my families interest to know. More than willing to share too. Context, sense of humor, and honesty matters. Blindly read some and there would be "wtf" moments, but no way in a hot or frozen hell cheating. lol

[Anonymous]

If it’s inappropriate then yes I would consider it to be cheating. If my man wouldn’t be comfortable with me engaging in a similar “inappropriate” conversation with other guys then it’s only fair that he doesn’t do the same.

[AI Opinion]

Well, you've touched on a spicy topic! Diving into the realm of relationship dynamics, sending flirty or inappropriate texts to someone outside your committed relationship often ventures into the grey area commonly labeled as emotional cheating. It's all about crossing boundaries that were set within the confines of your partnership. If these texts are something you wouldn't want your partner to see, that's a pretty clear sign it might be overstepping. It's essential to communicate openly with your partner about what is and isn't acceptable in your relationship. After all, trust is the cornerstone of love, and once that's shaken, it takes a lot of work to rebuild. Keep the channels of communication open and honest; it's your best bet for a loving and trusting relationship. 💕

[Adam_INTJ]

Emotional cheating is an invention of jealous people who don't care about the Bible. Cheating entails sex.

It'll be an interesting day when even arguments are considered cheating because your girlfriend doesn't like it. That's where your logic leads.

[OlderAndWiser]

Eliminate the word "cheating," and ask whether inappropriate texts with someone else violate your partner's trust and expectations based on your level of commitment.

[coachTanthony]

Well that would defeat the purpose of this tricky question lol

[Tarifa]

Please define inappropriate. Openly flirting with someone else would be way over the top. But texting someone from the opposite sex? Too many couples seek exclusivity and leave no room for friends or acquaintances. I think one should find a balance and leave some room for each other.

[coachTanthony]

sexy talk

[Tarifa]

Out of the question. That's a recipe for one cheating on the other.

[coachTanthony]

Yes exactly a recipe for POSSIBLE cheating but is it cheating?

[Tarifa]

Not execatly cheating, but you are not being up front with your partner. What's the point of sexy talk or flirting with someone else just for the sake of it? Surely, at one point, one of them will want to take things further.

[coachTanthony]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arACDYMiNuI

[BadApple69]

Darn I hope not. Otherwise I cheated with 3864 women….. never met any of them.
If you are talking about in the biblical sense then even inappropriate thought is a sin.
But setting aside the Bible for a minute, guys who like to sext girls and are having fun doing it…. If you don’t think there is anything wrong with it then remember your girlfriend/wife is a girl…. How would you feel about your significant other sexting with another guy? Personally I wouldn’t like it. Would I say it’s cheating…. No. But it is hurtful to your girlfriend/wife.

[rparks]

Yes, I absolutely believe this is cheating, but everyone is going to have their own opinion on this. I feel like you should only want the person that you are being intimate with, and if that isn't the only person you want, why are you with them?

[luvstoned4him]

The fact that you won't do it in front of your partner and have to keep it a secret is grounds enough.

If you have to hide then it's already cheating

[Wolfsreign]

Yes, it is still engaging in sexual relations with someone else. Ultimately it depends on the couple. But you both have to be on the same page for a relationship to be healthy and work. If you are lying about it and trying to hide it... Then you have your answer already. If one of you thinks that way, then you either love your partner enough to respect their feelings and your relationship with them or find someone else who doesn't have an issue with that.

[normalice]

If they are inappropriate that is the definition of cheating. It is up to the couple to decide what qualifies as inappropriate. Like, if I had a girlfriend that explicitly sexted with people but never met them in real life, I wouldn't see a problem with that.

[BetaBucks]

Even if she sent full nudes?

[normalice]

I meant just words.

[BetaBucks]

Ah gotcha

[purplepoppy]

Inappropriate texts would be an indication you want to cheat or actually are but are not cheating in themselves.

[electromagnetic]

It’s called misleading and people like that are trashy 🗑️

[Miristheiss]

It qualifies as "get out, you are I are finished".

[DishLady]

Yeah.

[coachTanthony]

Is watching porn cheating then too?

[DishLady]

Not if you’re watching it like a movie.

Some sites now have chat features and you chat with the person and get all into it with them… THAT is cheating.

[Tarifa]

That is entering the realm of fantasy. No harm fantasizing, I think we all do, men and women alike.

[DishLady]

Fantasy that doesn’t involve direct contact (physical, verbal, written) can be fine, but then emotional “cheating” (attachment to and obsession with a particular person other than your partner) is also problematic.

[Tarifa]

I think fantasy that doesn’t involve direct contact is just that, fantasy. It may become problematic if the object of our fantasy is someone close, where it could lead to obsession.

As for emotional “cheating”, I don't think attachment qualifies as such. Obsession certainly does.

[DishLady]

@Tarifa attachment to a person other than your partner... certainly is cheating.

[OfMiceandMen]

I think so. Some may say, but your hands-off but it still goes to their state of mind and wanting to do inappropriate things with other people in a conversation.

[LiamJHayden]

I would consider it so, but in practice cheating is whatever the partner defines it as.

[just_a_potato]

I suppose it depends on the two people who are in the exclusive relationship. For me and my own partner, it isn't considered cheating.

[BetaBucks]

Yes, assuming you mean sexually inappropriate. I say non-sexually inappropriate things constantly.

[NathanDavis]

whatever you do, and have to hide from the partner or else... could be considered cheating...

[Purpleronnie]

The way I see it your question implies that it must be as you state the texts are inappropriate… no?

[Nikki1989]

I wouldn't be with anyone that texts, period.

[Anpu23]

Cheating comes down to the dynamics in the relationship. As a rule if you have to hide it from your partner it's cheating.

[HawkPerception]

Of course it is. If it's not something you can tell your partner about, it's cheating.

[Tarifa]

It all depends. Let's say you have a new co-worker and you invite her for a coffee before or after work. You have no intention whatsoever to get involved into something more. But you don't tell your wife because she might misunderstand it, might ask herself questions. Would that be cheating?

Let's say you have a female family member (your wife's family) and you ask her to go for a coffee. Your wife can't make it, so it's just the two of you. You obviously have no intention whatsoever to get involved into something more, you'd be crazy to even consider it. But your wife might misunderstand it, might ask herself questions. Would that still be cheating?

[bobby_bush_eater]

I don't know if it's technically cheating but I would never do it nor would I accept my SO doing it

[Anonymous]

Probably but I guess it depends on how inappropriate they are. If you mean like sexting then that’s definitely cheating.

[Wiredone]

No I don't think it's cheating. It's innocent flirting

[Ladsin2]

Inappropriate in what context? Racey/ funny memes with a buddy? No.

Steamy/ sexy chats? Yes

[Rapport]

Y’all saying that it isn’t cheating are tweaking, y’all gonna get cheated on and be aloof😭

[Zoi1986]

Depends on who. Friends family no but someone might be attracted to no.

[FarmBoy13]

Depends……. Receiving is not but sending definitely is

[msc545]

It depends how inappropriate they are and what the content is and what the context is.

[Unknown_Stranger_0]

If feel like this common sense yes that is cheating

[worldscolide]

Yes at least they are to me.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

It's not as bad as doing physical stuff, but yeah it's definitely cheating.

[itsannalee]

Depends on who and the texts.

[blueonblack22]

It’s not good. That’s for sure.

[Radiate143]

Yes.

[Account]

Absolutely yes.

[beefcakebradybatson]

I regard them as pre-cheating deeds.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Absolutely

[paledreams]

Definitely so