Is flirtatiously texting someone other than your S. O. cheating?

Question

Apope16 · Accepted Answer

Women do not think this is cheating for a number of reasons:

1) Women are cheating all the time in modern dating and lining up replacements of male orbiter guys
2) Women defend this behavior and therefore defend each other so they can all benefit from this
3) Women need to ask themselves if the roles were reversed would they be upset? The answer is likely yes. Which means it is cheating
4) Women rarely ever just cheat by fucking a random guy. That is more what guys do. They are at a bar meet a chic while drunk and bang her. Women rarely do that. They like to more often than not gain arousal with imagination and fantasy first. They are cheating in their heads and flirting with the guy. Developing chemistry with him through validation and attention. The more attention and validation they get over texting the more they know they have the guy ready and available on the hook to fuck on command. So then when they get in a fight with boyfriend they have a roster of guys to meet up with for sex.

So yes it is cheating. And yes in many ways it is the worse kind of cheating because when women flirt with guys over texting it is for a different reason than guys. Men cheat to get a sexual release. They dont cheat because they fall in love. They cheat purely for the dopamine high of sex. But women cheat more likely over texting first because they are building a relationship. They cheat in an attempt to replace their partner with a new alpha male. So after the weeks of texting and flirting, when they meet up with a guy during the day or whatever... they have become emotionally invested in the guy they are fucking. By the time a woman is having sex with a guy she has checked out of the relationship. SHe is letting the new guy cum deep inside her because she is really dating him now. The boyfriend is the side piece. All of her emotion and feelings have been invested in this new guy for weeks. Him deep inside her is the icing on the cake. You add to that the rush and intensity of sex during cheating or forbidden or secret sex? I have had secret sex (with a co worker) the orgasm is intense. Then when she orgasms with this new cheating guy she falls in love because oxytocin is released.

Guys are not this way. When they are flirting and texting it is not to fall in love. It is to get sex. They get their dopamine high but emotionally they still are attached to who they are dating.

Not all cases but most cases.

ChrisMaster69 · Accepted Answer

Oh great question.

to me this is a huge grey area as I flirt a lot (I’m a tart).

from conversations with both my ex wife and previous ex girlfriends we sort of worked this out.

if you do it for sexual reasons and or leading to the following - , if you do it to make more contact with someone, if you do it for any reason that means it would lead to something else, then yes it’s cheating.

if you do it for fun and a laugh, especially with friends (mutual or otherwise), if it’s in passing and in response to someone else but you do not continue it.

at times it’s grey but others it’s blatant cheating, especially if it’s aiming towards making physical contact.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

I think there's a few determining factors...
*Is it something you have to hide from your partner-yes... If it's something he knows you do and doesn't care-then no... It doesn't matter if others think it's okay, it's what "your" partner feels about it...
*Is it okay then for your partner to also flirt with others? a lot of times people think it's okay when they do something, but then get upset if their partner were to do the same thing...
*The nature of the flirting... If you're sexing texting, or sharing pics, I personally feel talking sexual and nudes should be for your partners eyes only...
I don't get why people need to flirt with other people, that's time spent you should be spending in your relationship, flirting with your partner to make him feel wanted not some friend or internet person. Your partner should come before others but if you're flirting with other people, how's that putting your partner first...
Flirting with others should be for when you're single, not if you're dating/in a relationship/engaged/married

elizamichale1 · Accepted Answer

I dont think so

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If it is something that you must hide from your partner, then you are doing something that violates their trust, and whether it is called "cheating" or something else is meaningless.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

Good question, thank you for asking it.  To be honest, while it's not cheating in my opinion, if the flirting gets heavy it's surely walking across a thin line.

ilikefrogsalot · Answer

If I caught my partner flirting with someone else, I'd be very upset. It doesn't matter if it's physical or not, you're still giving someone romantic/sexual attention while you're in a relationship. If you care about your partner, don't be an asshole and flirt with someone else. It's selfish and reckless; you're downright disregarding your partner's emotions. People don't hurt people they truly love.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I think it depends on your definition of what is flirting.

Like, I can be pretty naive. If I'm excited I'll use emojis 😍😅😆 and if we get along, I'll even invite then hang out for work lunch or have a Friday beer in or out of a group. I'm not gonna exclude someone because of gender. I can see how like for a coworker, it could border on the line of flirty friendly.

If you're using the dirty vegetables while flirting or any mention of body parts comes up, that's usually a little much for me. I'd count that as cheating.

Vickymoore9 · Answer

I'm kinda a hypocrite on this, I have made sexual flirts with my daughter dad texting. I have no desires to have sex with him especially since I’m friend with his wife. I think it’s my nature to flirt and make sexual suggestive comments. At the same time I know I would flip the fuck out on a guy doing it 😂. I think for me it would be about sorting out what the nature was to it. I think if it was innocent I let him off with a stern warning 😝. I don’t go through my boyfriend text nor do I ask him who he was on the phone with. I trust him when I’ve felt untrusting of a guy I pretty much aligning his ass when he walking out the door the knob goes up his ass and I’m done.

mk200195 · Answer

As far as I understand it, cheating means deceiving. If you are not deceiving your partner, it’s harmless fun. Just be sure never to lie about it, and, if the conversation ever turns to a point where this flirtatious texting experience has relevance, bring it up. You should neither conceal it nor gratuitously bring it up, if you have a clear conscience. It is insignificant.

If you are uncomfortable with those two ideas, you are cheating. Integrity and honesty are crucial in an intimate relationship. I my opinion far more important than exclusivity. If your partner finds out, what will you feel?

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

I think it depends how flirtatious the text is. It might be a stretch to call it cheating say if it’s just something playful- but it’s wrong regardless, and very disrespectful and it’s a huge red flag🚩🚩😝

henfats · Answer

No it's not cheating, neither is flirting with a guy in a bar, with your yoga instructor after a class, your boss at work, the milkman, or anyone else.

Would it be massively hurtful to your S. O. if he found out? Absolutely. Would it break the trust? Don't know, but he'll probably never think of you as "his" again.

On the specific question of texting, however, it does imply an level of intent beyond that of merely being caught in the moment. It's clandestine, sketchy, dishonest. All bad karma.

If you feel the need to do that, there might be something missing from your relationship. You never know, it might be something he feels is missing too.

Jjpayne · Answer

It depends on the flirting. If we are both in relationships and being cheeky and playful with the knowledge that we both have an SO that could be fine. Especially if she is on comfortable speaking terms with my So. However, if flirting leads to wanting to get together for more closeness then it's a big no and also if the texting language gets to forceful intimate or personal

callMeNeel · Answer

Cheating is when you break your commitment. If you're not kissing, or having sex, or exchanging nudes, it's not cheating. you can
1. exchange flirty warm texts
2. casually/accidentally touch, to get the feel of her/him

Also, make sure it doesn't drag too long, else you might end up cheating.

Floppy2112 · Answer

No, but it's close. It indicates intent even if no action. You're relationship is in trouble, but it's not too late. It's just a bad idea, why do that if you have someone you love? It's nice to be admired, but it can lead to a world of suffering and often does.

Andres77 · Answer

If no bodily fluids were exchanged it's not cheating.

Paolaa988 · Answer

I consider it cheating. You shouldn't be flirting with someone other than your partner.

Anpu23 · Answer

Listen in some relationships screwing a complete stranger in the bathroom in the club is fine, in other watching an R rated movie with partial nudity is cheating. Comes down to the relationship agreement.

Jazquee · Answer

I think it's emotional cheating. What is missing from your relationship that u need to go looking? Plus I honestly don't get the online thing. Kinda... different. lol

HawkPerception · Answer

It is definitely cheating if you're texting someone of the opposite sex "flirtatiously". That is the key word there. Flirting of any kind while in a relationship is cheating.

MahdiA · Answer

Yes of course.. you’re flirting with someone else which may make you fall in love. I will never flirt with anyone if I’min a relationship.. that’s just wrong

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

No but it can lead to cheating if you’re not careful

Flower7 · Answer

Yes I feel like that's cheating because they're building an emotional bond with another person outside of their relationship.

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

Well it's something that shouldn't be done. To me it's cheating because flirting basically entices someone to grow physical and emotional interest in you and eventually to seek more.

TallAnon · Answer

Cheating depends on the boundaries your and your s. o. set. If those boundaries are broken, it's cheating. Talk and define those boundaries.

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

I believe that if someone whom you are in a relationship with is sending flirtatious texts to someone else is on the precipice of the line most would be considered as cheating.☯️

RealMarek · Answer

What reason is there to flirt if one has a S. O? I would break up if my girlfriend flirted with other men.

Kas19 · Answer

Does your partner know? If not, then yeah. And you're sus.  It's best to just discuss if they would be okay with that. If you're hiding shit then you're doing something wrong.

dovido · Answer

No! Depends how deep it goes, but I believe people need to live their fantasies and partners should support each other, not keeping each other in cages. Let people live their life, who cares what do they as long as they are good to you and love you?

worldscolide · Answer

I dunno if it's cheating.. I refuse to do it anyway cause I won't hurt my wife like that.

serious · Answer

Of course that clearly indicates an intention to cheat which will eventually lead to cheating.

exitseven · Answer

It is a gray area. It depends on how flirty the messages are and the intent behind them. Sometimes two people can be friends and just flirt with each other for the fun of it.

Safa01 · Answer

Yes i think so. If it is something you are hiding, can’t be open about and that you think would hurt your partner then definitely yes.

Avicenna · Answer

No, it isn’t. Probably not a good idea to do it, though

Philyouup · Answer

i’d say if you would not do it in front of her, it’s surely not honest and forthright.

jasmine_0603 · Answer

Would you feel good with your partner seeing those messages? If not, then it is cheating.

devil_8888 · Answer

Yes it is. Why there’s a need for flirting when someone loves their SO!! That’s my point. So it’s cheating as per my opinion.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That depends on the two people in the relationship and what ground rules they set

alvincasey · Answer

If you have to hide it, it's probably cheating. Or you're about to cheat

Luckycharms12 · Answer

How would you feel S. O. Done it to you and there you're answer

StunningANDbrave · Answer

No shit, unless you like your guy doing the same thing with other women.

OddBeMe · Answer

I think intentions are key. we're in a social media world and can't expect SOs to not talk to folks online.

kellytheman · Answer

I don't think so as long you act on those flirting things.

Joshua0213 · Answer

Although I'd never do it, I wouldn't consider that cheating unless she actually sees them in person

jerdanro · Answer

If both partners don't agree that it is okay, then it isn't.

Romeocuck · Answer

If your s. o doesn't know about it then yes it is cheating

Loolucy · Answer

Could be. but most of my text s tend to be like that..

GreenArrow27 · Answer

I think if you both do it and don’t care it shouldn’t matter

Coulis · Answer

Without a doubt, yes it is.

Leavesbound · Answer

Ask your significant other.

Stephbs2 · Answer

Depends, do you want to cheat? If yes. Yes.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Kinda, yeah. I wouldn't do it.

pigoat · Answer

Not if my S. O knows and is ok with it

Tunasub · Answer

I think it depends on if it's hidden or not...

Mehzmeh · Answer

In this day and age, unfortunately it is.

taeh_ie2 · Answer

Yes.

shouldnobetter · Answer

Probably, but it's fun and exciting.

Twalli · Answer

Not unless you both go into it with eyes open.

Shy_Steve · Answer

If your S. O. thinks it's cheating then it is.

obtuseocelot · Answer

Not when they're okay with it.

JenniCollins97 · Answer

Depends on how far it goes.

RelevantJ · Answer

Depends how flirty but yeah

msc545 · Answer

Sort of, yes.

yourbabygirl921 · Answer

YES NO QUESTION ASK

Is flirtatiously texting someone other than your S. O. cheating?

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