Should women even have a say in a relationship?

[Taylor22424]

I personally don't think so. I pay all the bills/give her a free life. She don't have to worry about any money at all. Although she gets an allowance and she has no other home, she lives for free.

I believe she DON'T get a say at all in a relationship.

Updates

1 y

Y'all are not good at rationalizing y'all arguments...

[Vesuvius87]

Why are you even paying bills for a homeless, poor girlfriend without any aspirations nor goals besides having a man pay everything?

You have no obligations to even pay a girlfriend. She's not your family.

[Vesuvius87]

Honestly I'd rather be poor and start from scratch (earn money) than be in a relationship where I have no say at all.

[Taylor22424]

She's not homeless... She's only homeless if I end the relationship... She has goals in life but she needs my permission to use MY resources. She has every right to get a job but she always ends up quitting knowing I make a lot more than $15 an hour.

And you're right, I dont have an obligation to even pay her. It's just my duty as the man in the relationship.

But she's obligated to give me sex whenever I demand it or relationship ends there and she's homeless.

[Vesuvius87]

So she's basically a friends with benefits, your bang buddy that just goes with verbal name ''girlfriend''?

[Taylor22424]

Unfortunately yes... just like how I payed for all the dates back then and paid all the steak dinners, I'm basically her giant shiny wallet.

Unfortunately women aren't that much useful outside sex anyways. Women choose to let it be that way so I'll bluntly operate off of that.

[Taylor22424]

Just like how she sees me only to provide for her and pay for her.

Since she can't take care of herself, she don't get a say in anything

[Vesuvius87]

Two people using each other, no real value nor real goals. Might as well don't even refer to her as a girlfriend since that's obviously not a real relationship.

[Taylor22424]

Oh really? So you're saying, in a "real" relationship, nobody is using each other?

Since you want to have fun with this...

What's a real relationship then?

[Vesuvius87]

I'm getting married on Sept 20th. A real relationship is when people are compatible in many areas besides sex, when you're really thinking about life goals, both are working, both are a team and both have a say.

[Taylor22424]

Took you almost 15 minutes to say that...

I'm getting married on Sept 20th. - Not remotely relevant.

A real relationship is when people are compatible in many areas besides sex - What do you mean by "compatible"?

when you're really thinking about life goals - You can do that ALONE. Both the man and woman can do that separately, alone.

both are working - So if one person don't work, it is AUTOMATICALLY not a relationship? Basically just "strangers"?

both are a team and both have a say - AGAIN, UNDER WHAT COMPATIBILITY? Men and women aren't equal in value... tolerance isn't compatibility because

[Taylor22424]

Tolerance isn't compatibility. Because tolerance implies submission...
Only girls submit to the guy.

What's your response?

[Vesuvius87]

I never said men and women are equal. I said compatible in many areas. For instance both can be religious or non-religious, have similar political stances, want to have kids, etc.

[Taylor22424]

So bascally you are saying, if we both have the same belief systems... that is a component to a real relationship. Ok that's fair.

BUT, she's agreeable with me. I changed her mind...

Her being agreeable with me is a form of compatibility.

What's your response to that?

[Vesuvius87]

Honestly, I think she's wasting her own time on this extended friends with benefits arrangement. Even though you're both using each other (you get sex and she gets free resources), you have the upperhand in the end if you decide to split up and kick her out any time meanwhile she'll never get her time back. Whatever suits you I guess since you're the one that'll benefit from this in the end. A long-term friends with benefits (what many men dream of) type arrangment with unlimited sex really benefits more men than women.

[Taylor22424]

You need to rationalize your arguments..

All relationships are essentially "friends with benefits". It depends heavily on how much y'all want to ignore it.

You also seem to forget that women benefit from the guy's money more because "sex", yeah anybody can get it.

It's just that's all she can provide because unfortunately, in the real world, women don't have anything else to provide outside sex. It's the cold hard truth.

[Vesuvius87]

Meanwhile I'm getting marriage, the whole package and he can't just rid get of me whenever he wants too like a boyfriend that gets bored can.

[Vesuvius87]

An extended friends with benefits or many years in the dating period is simply a free trial for the woman. She only has short-term benefits but he can ditch her any time without any responsibility. Meanwhile I'm close to having the sales, the actual club sales with all features and unlimited access. Big difference.

[Taylor22424]

"Full club access", "Whole package", "Can't get rid of me so easily", "unlimited access", - 😁

These are YOUR WORDS, not mine.

"Two people using each other, no real value nor real goals. Might as well don't even refer to her as a girlfriend since that's obviously not a real relationship."

You are USING HIM to get: "Full club access", "Whole package", etc...

By your very OWN logic, you are not in a real relationship...

You, yourself, just defeated your OWN argument...

So it took you 15 minutes to make up what a "Real Relationship" is, only to amount to hypocritical stupidity.

You girls are easy...

[Vesuvius87]

I'm using a logical analogy and was comparing getting married to a company seller making his sales so the wording can sound too pragmatic. In addition, over the years I've become more practical than emotional. You don't live out of just staying in the ''falling in love'' stage forever. As you already know, men and women benefit differently. A woman doesn't benefit from just having sex great and having several bfs in her life; any man can make us his friends with benefits or girlfriend but fewer will actually proceed with the purchase aka commitment.
Honestly, I'm making it easier for my fiancee. I work, don't need someone's money to survive, would gladly sign a prenup if he wants that and my father himself offered to pay for our wedding. He doesn't have to pay anyting for our wedding, it's free. How is that using him?

[Taylor22424]

That's the thing, sweety, "I know it was an analogy", then you said "logical" which implies the comparison is valid. but what you also don't realize is:

That little "logical analogy", was described as "pragmatic". Which implies the elements is "practicality". That reinforcement makes your argument unable recover... 🤦‍♂️ Your words, not mine.

Do you not know what these words mean?

Or

Are you even thinking before you type?

[MzAsh]

This is why I advise women to bring their own money to the table. When you’re financially dependent, some think it gives them the right to run the whole show without considering what their partner wants. No relationship can be healthy that way.

[Taylor22424]

Why would It be wrong to run the whole show if I pay for ALL OF IT?

If I'm not mistaken, When everything is paid by
me, my word is, by definition, law. I hear her opinions, but when it comes to final decisions, her "considerations" don't matter.

It's only fair, simply because I support her getting a job, I don't have a problem with her getting a job. It's just she actively chooses not to, which I have no problem with. It's not a deal breaker. She just need to learn where her place is. Especially when she chooses to drain resources.

[MzAsh]

Relationships aren’t a dictatorship, even with you paying for everything. Describing her as a drain on resources signals you might not respect her role. If you’re that worried about it, consider encouraging her to contribute, rather than using money as a control tactic.

[Taylor22424]

How is it "disrespect" if I'm telling the truth?

And that's not "worry", That's how the objective viewpoint of the situation. There is no other way of looking at it, on a literal level.

Had it be the other way around, you would see it that way too, guarentee.

Also, do you even know what "dictatorship" is? Because you used it wrong in that sentence.

[MzAsh]

Truth or not, when you frame it like she’s a drain on resources, that’s taking a disrespectful attitude.

Calling your word “law” because you pay for everything is exactly what makes it sound like a dictatorship. A relationship is supposed to be a partnership.

And just so you know, I’m actually in your boat right now. I pay the bills and make certain decisions, but I don’t think of my husband as someone who drains resources or had to do whatever I say. We’re still a partnership, where there’s give and take, respect, and collaboration. If it were the other way around, you’d expect the same respect and say, wouldn’t you?

[Taylor22424]

You are not rationalizing your own point. How is it "disrespectful" if I'm telling the truth? Key word: "How".

"Sound" like a dictatorship? That's not even a correlation, let alone "causation", that's a "interpretation"... Use rationality terms for me.

But, respectfully, the conditions of your "boat" is irrelevant to me or this discussion. No disrespect to you on a personally level. You being the same boat is all there is, no more detail outside that is relevant.

Now to answer your question, No.. I dont expect the same respect from the other sex in your husband's position simply because, in general, no high value woman would put up with a broke guy. They would leave on the spot.

It is basically reality. Not because its taboo for guy to not have a job, but its ultimately "not" a partnership... that's reality.

[Billlewis]

'Have a say'? No -- she should have 100% authority and decision making power, always.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of love and partnerships, aren't we? Let me sprinkle a little insight into your query. In the dance of relationships, participation from both parties, voicing thoughts, and mutual decision-making aren’t just suggested, they’re essential! Picture this: a relationship is like a team sport. You wouldn’t want to play a game where only one person decides all the moves, right? That's a one-way ticket to Resentment City, and I'm pretty sure that's not on your travel list.

While contributing financially is significant, it doesn't equate to holding all the reins. Relationships thrive on balance, understanding, and respect. Treating your partner's voice as a treasure enhances the connection, making the journey together richer. So, let's aim for a partnership where both voices harmonize, creating a melody that's sweet to the ears. 😊 Trust me, the outcome? A love story that’s worth every bit of shared direction and mutual respect.

[Taylor22424]

It's not a "partnership", I pay her bills, not vice versa.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Like even her choice to date you isn’t a choice? If you’re that controlling I’d sooner kill myself in your bed than date you

[Taylor22424]

I pay for everything...
I have complete control.
This is just simple common sense.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

And she can leave whenever she wants, right? Or is it whenever you’re done with her?

[Taylor22424]

She can leave whenever she wants. But she has to keep in mind that she will be homeless. She has nowhere else to go. And all the clothes I buy her will stay at my house.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

How is that not abuse? She would very clearly leave if she had any other choice

[Taylor22424]

It's not abuse because I pay for everything... she lives life for free.

It doesn't matter what she wants. It only matters what I want...

[EmmaMary]

REPORTED...DUPLICATE

[Taylor22424]

REPORT DENIED

Girls think they could just delete posts they don't like, by making false reports in hopes it gets taken down.

False accusations and lies will cause people to not trust you.

[Jennz6]

Nope , my opinion

[Taylor22424]

Jesus, you reply fast.

[smashleyy]

Might as well buy a blowup doll at that point

[Taylor22424]

Women aren't that much useful or valuable other than sex.

So you comparing them to a sex doll yourself is a bit accurate.

[smashleyy]

Not what I was doing but it’s okay if you’re too slow to comprehend that❤️

[Taylor22424]

You say it was "Not what I was doing"

And yet you said "Might as well"?
That's a comparative...

Are you thinking before you type?