I am pregnant with a much older married man. What to do, as he will not leave her for me?

[Daiana322]

I am 24 and he is 42. We been having an affair, we live in 2 different cities and I only saw him 2 times a month. I was the one very obsessed over him. He has businesses here and usually come to eat at the restaurant where I am a waitress, with other men. I didn't know he is married until I got pregnant, refused to abort and he told me I will ruin his marriage and life because he loves his wife. I am in love with him, I don't see myself living without him. Anyway, it is too late to abort. He promised me he will give me money for the baby monthly and be as much as possible part of the baby's life. But to keep my mouth shut because he has an image to take care or and his marriage.

I ended up in hospital 3 days ago because of pain. I called him and explained. He couldn't come. I got home, called him, he couldn't come. I was still in pain. He finally came today to just bring me some food he ordered. he was cold and distant. My financial situation is not terrible, but it is not good either. I will move with grandma, my only living relative, to save money and have someone to be there for me because I am terrified of all this. Will he indeed be more reliable for the baby when it is born? Will he be a part of our life? I am depressed and hopeless.

Updates

1 y

he is 41. Sorry

[ohsheeT]

Well this is where I see you blowing it is everything you guys did these were the odds that something like this was going to happen and it did.

Now you both have to deal with it you more than him but I see you're going to end up losing even financial help from him because you're going to try to force him into something that he's not going to do and he's not going to like that at all he posted a decision you both have to live with it and you have to make the best of it if he's willing to give you money you better take it but if you try to back him in a corner you're going to lose...

And as of right now this isn't about you anymore this is about that child you have to raise that child probably by yourself until you find somebody but whatever you do don't take it out on that child it's not the child's fault it's your fault for doing stupid things and it's his fault for doing stupid things now you both have to pay the price you can either make it miserable or you can do the right thing and make it about your kid and make the kid become bigger better smarter than both of you

[mstbooblover]

This is very classic situation. Let's not emit any judgment against anyone, because what happened can't be undone anyway, and because things in life just happen.

You've chosen to keep the baby, which is actually a healthy natural instinct, although you could have decided otherwise. This is in some way a boobytrap set up by nature: a young girl falling in love with an attractive mature man. I guess you know there are ways to avoid pregnancy, but obviously something in your and/or his mind prevented you from considering that.

In any case all this is not the child's fault, and sure enough the coming of a baby changes radically one's life. Not knowing you, nor your real situation, I can't tell what you should do now, but in any case let it be in favour of the child, whose father could be of great help if he's fair and consequent enough.

The problem for the father is not easy either, because if he decides to help you, he will have, whether to lie forever to his spouse, or tell her the truth... I don't know those people, and thus can't say what's best for them either, but I'm inclined to think the father should tell his wife the truth.

[DishLady]

Cheaters and cheating-enablers get what they get. You should never have taken up with a dbag who does this to his woman. Even if he DID leave her, there's no way you'd know if he'd be faithful to you.

You get a paternity test and hold him accountable for child support for getting you pregnant.

And you learn to cross your legs and leave committed guys alone, little chippy.

[PeachyPie93]

If this is real you screwed yourself. You should have aborted but considering you you don't have standards since you kept a married mans baby your life is probably not gonna get any better. So good luck!

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of love and unexpected twists can be like dancing in a storm, but let's tango through this together. Your situation is as heart-wrenching as a tragic love story, with layers of emotions, unmet expectations, and a sprinkle of reality checks. Falling for someone, especially when the connection feels cosmic, can sweep you off your feet. But when the music stops and the lights come on, the truth can be a hard pill to swallow.

Now, let's face the music. This man, despite the allure of his attention and promises, has shown where his priorities lie. His commitment to preserving his image and marriage, while offering financial support, speaks volumes. It's like wanting to keep a foot in two boats hoping neither sails away; a precarious balance at best.

Sweetheart, you deserve more than just breadcrumbs of affection and last-minute food deliveries. The prospect of him being a reliable figure for your baby, given his current stance, might be as consistent as a mirage in the desert. It's heartening to hear you have a place with grandma - a silver lining filled with potential support and love.

While the future might seem like a puzzle, remember, you're the artist and life is your canvas. This chapter may just be the one that teaches you the strength you didn't know you had, the depth of your resilience, and the value of self-love.

Find strength in your support system, cherish the bond with your grandma, and be open to the journey of motherhood. As for him, actions will always speak louder than midnight promises. Keep your heart open but your expectations grounded in reality. After all, you're about to embark on the most beautiful love story of all - motherhood. And who knows? Sometimes, the most unexpected detours lead to the most beautiful destinations. Keep your chin up, lovely! The best is yet to come.

[Avicenna]

It's very difficult to raise a child in such circumstances and he's a cheater, so there is no guarantee he will live up to his word (I wouldn't believe him, TBH), and even if he did, he still wouldn't be there like a real partner would be. You shouldn't accept that.

[AviatorTom]

The best, and only, thing to do now is think about your child. Forget about him, he's married and not going to rescue you. Do what best for your child. Good luck!

[Levin]

I am very sorry to hear about your situation.

I think you need to base your decision on what to do, on one fact, and one fact only.

You are smitten. And he has shown he does not care. He has shown he is a bad person. I'm sorry, but this is the truth of it. He only cares about his image. He has been unfaithful to his wife. He has led you along, knowing you feel the way you do.

You need to work out why you love this man so much. This dynamic is not healthy. He's used you for some fun. But it's a dynamic of constantly having to fight for his attention and love. And he does not reciprocate and is not emotionally invested in you. This is not healthy. There are deep roots to this. May be relating to your self esteem, also. You deserve better. But you can't have better if you keep fighting for this man. He will never give you what you want.

[jordynthedecayer99]

Well let me put this a nice way if he was married he should’ve been more careful when spreading another woman’s legs and also should’ve told you first now if it ever found out your more likely to have a bunch of drama going on in your life it ain’t funny unless the man straighten himself up and do what’s best for you, the baby, him, and his wife that the only way to solve that

[BadApple69]

You are in a bad way. He won’t leave his wife and if she ever finds out you’ll probably never see him again. You need to prepare yourself to raise this baby alone or maybe give it up for adoption.

[ChicoFromThe305]

If he loved his wife he wouldn't have cheated, I can't really say that I know what to do, the best thing to do was not get yourself into this situation, not much to really do now, maybe try getting that child support

[melnc]

It happened and it's over. You should have thought about it before getting involved with that guy. It's time to take responsibility.

[LiamJHayden]

He lied to you. You do not owe his protection. Find out what the maximum child support is based on his income and if he is not giving more than that, put him on child support. If his marriage blows up, that is on him.

[exitseven]

This guy is scared to death that his wife kicks him out and takes half of everything and has to move in with you and grandma. I would hate to be him

[RavVid]

I think it is obvious you can't expect much. Sorry to say that.

[onedarkcloud]

You can now say you have been truly fucked. What did you expect from a married scumbag? Now do you keep it or abort it? He is not going to help you in any manner shape or form.

[Anonymous]

You’re stupid…. Stupid. Stupid stupid. And just believe if he did move in with you he would do the same shir to you eventually

[elizamichale1]

It doesn't sound like he's going to be any help honey

[jahaims]

Not have sex with married men obviously. You got what you deserved

[Anonymous]

Sorry, but you're a cheater and you're getting what cheaters get. You've made your bed and now you get to sleep in it.

[OddBeMe]

How do you know the fetus is married? And how can it be older?

[Pterodon]

File immediately for court ordered child support and visitation schedule

[slatyb]

No, he won't. File for support.

[Anonymous]

Get a good lawyer.

[MasterKS]

unwanted fuck, unwanted pregnancy!

[Anonymous]

Troll.