Why did my boyfriend get mad at me when I acted happy to see him?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend was out of town for a day and when he got back I acted happily (danced on the spot a bit) and told him I missed him. He got angry and told me that my reaction was too much and that he was only gone for a day. I responded that I was just happy that he was back and asked why it bothered him. He started telling me how it was only a day and he doesn't think I should have reacted the way that I did. He blew my reaction out of proportion and obviously my mood went down so I went back to studying (which I was doing when he got back). He was quiet for a bit but then he started the convo again. And I didn't act in anyway. After he told me it was too much and I was too happy I just went back to studying and thought I'll let him be/cool off or something. He kept starring at me and then went off about how he still thinks it was too much of a reaction and whatever (like he was trying to justify his reaction). I told him I really need to study and I get it, but he should give both of us a bit of space. We left me alon for like 2 hours and now he's back and he's not mentioning the conversation, I don't know if it still bothers him, I have no idea what happened and what exactly annoyed him so much.

[Summeroflove]

Communication of feelings is important but he was being too much of a dick about it if he needs things to be toned down a bit then that’s understandable.

I think that it’s concerning especially if you did this before and his reaction was different. I’m not saying he’s doing anything but, sometimes acting weird is a sign they’re doing something behind your back. Maybe he feels guilty, resentful, or something of that nature. That’s what happens many times when someone has cheated or at least done something.

In a healthy relationship people communicate feelings but they don’t overreact then just pretend it never happened. Sometimes people are more needy then others and this doesn't make either person bad. It’s hard when one person feels neglected while the other needs space.

Some relationships people have good communication, they work through problems, and at the end become stronger. Other times people need to decide they’re looking for different thing and end it on good terms.

It may be worth asking. If you’re clear you’re not saying you’re making accusations but ask if maybe he resents you or did something that’s making him feel guilty or awkward around you. Gauge his reaction…. Important question without being overly accusatory

[Finchie40]

Because you are dating an asshole and you should really reconsider your relationship with someone that is that way , you clearly did nothing wrong , so if he honestly appreciated you and valued you and loved you , he would of been happy to see you as well , don’t fall for shit like that when it comes to relationships with negative asshole people , people that treat their partner that way should not be in a relationship with anyone , there is no excuse for his behavior. Do you know how many guys’ would love to have a girl like you that when they got home from work , she was happy and excited to see him? Trust me , do yourself a favor and can his ass , not every guy is an asshole that way. You deserve a guy that will appreciate you the same way you appreciate them , Life is too short to settle for negativity in a relationship , a partner is supposed to bring happiness into your life not misery. I have dumped girls’ that acted like your boyfriend , the best thing I did was kick them to the curb where they belonged.

[ProbablyClueless]

I don't mean to be abrupt, but why on earth wouldn't you be asking him this? He's the only person who knows the answer Nobody here could possibly know why your boyfriend didn't respond well you you acting bubbly.

Maybe the guy was just grumpy, I don't know. Is this a pattern of behavior for him?

[Asker]

Because it's been 8 days since and I tried bringing it up and as the first time I asked (because that night ai did ask "hey, did smth happen 'cause you seem on edge") he has refused to talk about it and got mad and yelled at me each time

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like you're dating a real emotionally volatile person. If I were you, I would consider this a major red flag.

[worldscolide]

Wtf man whare are you ladies finding these guys. You have no idea how much I love when my wife reacts like that. Your boyfriend is an idiot.. Sorry to say.

[DrPepper12]

Passive aggressive gaslighting. Not good sign 🚩🚩🚩

[Anonymous]

He sounds guilty of something. No sane person gets upset because they're missed unless they're irritated because they did something and feel guilty.

[Juxtapose]

He is either an asshole or is hiding something and is feeling guilty when you showed him positivity.

[OddBeMe]

Sounds like clinical depression. Does he have wild mood swings?

[Asker]

Define wild. He is not bipolar, doesn't go from one mood to another in the span of a few seconds. But there are moments when I joke about something and he gets it and we laugh, other times when he just blows off and thinks I'm attacking him. Or moments when I'm loving and he responds in kind and others when he acts this way. Like it's too much, like he can't stand me

[OddBeMe]

Doesn’t have to be movie like mood songs. I’m bipolar II which is “hypo” not hyper. Which means I can swing from dark depression to light manic that lasts days or weeks.

Bipolar I is a little more “wild” as in within a conversation he goes from normal to screaming. Like my mother.

[OddBeMe]

But either way, that doesn’t sound like something you should deal with.

[Staximus]

The guy is an asshole, or something else besides you is really bothering him

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your boyfriend is a hit of an ass. I would have thought your reaction was cute.

[Opinion Owner]

Bit, not hit.

[Asker]

Thank you. Now my insecure ass is thinking if he cheated or smth🤣. But honestly this is my first relationship so I'm not very good at reading this kind of signs. From a psychological point of view could he react that way if something like cheating or him losing feelings happened?

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly, cheating didn't come to mind but I suppose it's possible. Either way, he's definitely displaying weirdo behavior.

Just keep an eye out for any more red flags and then act accordingly.

[Finchie40]

Honestly , if he cheated on you , it should not be a big deal , just add it to the pile of trash your boyfriend already has established in your relationship with him. You aren’t insecure , you are just being disrespected by an asshole that clearly doesn’t deserve you. Do not change who you are as a person to appease that piece of shit. If he truly loved you and cared about you he would have been happy to see you , don’t make excuses for his behavior , kick his sorry ass to the curb where he belongs. You can thank me later

[Account]

Your boyfriend is a piece of shit, that is why.

[lightbulb27]

he doesn't understand girls emotions.

[Cheerfull009]

Your match is not good , chemistry not maching

[Walksbehindtherows]

God, damn, did you really tell him that?

[Asker]

What?

[Anonymous]

He is a weirdo.