Does being in love mean you are ready for a committed, exclusive relationship?

Question

Do you wait until you feel that you are in love with your partner to suggest that you two date exclusively (NOT asking about living together)? Can you enter an exclusive relationship without already being in love? Is being in love not the only thing that needs to happen before you agree to date exclusively? Or is there no relationship between these two ideas at all?

On several occasions, I have begun dating a lady exclusively after three or four dates, when I certainly was not in love with her and we had not yet had sex, but I did feel some affection as well as physical attraction.

And you?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I got into a lot of exclusive relationships, and did so fairly quickly. All I needed was mutual attraction and a connection.
If that happened, I quit searching. I didn't date anyone else while we were together. I gave them my full attention. It would be disrespectful to do otherwise. I didn't date girls who were dating others at the same time, either.

We fell into infatuation. But, for me, love and marriage was way down the line. I had to get to know them much better. True love only happened to me twice.

So, for me, dating exclusively had nothing to do with love. I may have liked them a lot and been deeply infatuated, but that's not the same as love.

I got into relationships to see if I would fall in love. And, for me, love meant not only compatibility, but trust.

In the meantime I didn't need to love and trust someone in order to enjoy their company and have lots of fun.. A relationship is like having a best friend. Hanging out, going places and dong things together, holding hands, hugging, laughing, sharing experiences, talking, and having sex.

I pity people in these days of electronics. They communicate electronically for months, essentially interviewing each other and trying to guarantee compatibility, love and commitment before even agreeing to date. That is so unnatural.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Very hard to answer this. I personally believe if you love someone, you would want to be with them and wouldn't want a life without them. That applies to every kind of love whether it's parents/guardians, siblings, kids, or friends.

But I think that you can love someone without being in a relationship with them. There are plenty of people that love others from a distance that sacrifice their own happiness not being with them by choice. Exclusivity doesn't necessarily mean you love someone more. However, I will say that if you love someone romantically, exclusivity is probably the best way to show them that. I say this from a monogamy-believer perspective.

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

since i'm part european and been living for almost a decade in Europe, i dont do the whole like date someone (or even a couple people at the same time..), wait until you feel feelings for them, then have the talk then become monogamous and exclusive. if i decide to date someone it's that i have a certain degree of feelings for them (won't enter a real relationship if i dont like them or just have a slight crush on them) and it's reciprocated, and the moment we decide to date we are boyfriend & girlfriend and are obviously exclusive and monogamous. though it doesn't mean that i'm ready for 'commitment commitment' like getting married, moving in together, babies, etc i'd only be ready for that if i'm fully head over heels in love with the guy and him too, and it's been a while that we've dated

mandyfire98 · Accepted Answer

I don't enter into a relationship unless I know that I'm falling in love with that person. It definitely takes a while.

Finchie40 · Answer

Don’t commit to anyone until you know for sure you are going to commit to them and they are going to commit to you , if you have any doubts? Don’t do it , you might regret your decision later down the road just like what happened to me with my wife , that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with , until she decided to change her mind and started treating me like shit , because she is selfish POS person that only cares about herself now. So save yourself from the agony , Actions speak louder than words

AviatorTom · Answer

Not necessarily. A couple is often exclusive well before either is in love.

DishLady · Answer

No. Just because someone is capable of feeling love doesn't mean they have the capacity to be in a lasting, meaningful relationship. The love is wonderful, but it's not the only thing needed in a healthy relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily. I was in love with a woman 3 years ago but I knew that I could never settle down with her for marraige and kids. For reasons such as she had cheated on me at one point, I suspected she was cheating, she had cheated on a previous ex, she drank too much, smoked weed, ate unhealthily all the time, was on antidepressants, was a feminist, believed in divorce a woman had a right to alimony and full custody of the child, could be abusive, dressed slutty sometimes and called me controlling if I said anything. No I had to let her go.

sawno · Answer

Going to take a spin on your title for this one. Being in love and being ready for a relationship aren't the same thing. there's so many examples of people who love each other but have all kinds of relationship issues due to them not being ready.

But yes for me personally genuinely loving the person is my barrier to wanting to. I always ask myself that if someone else came along if i'd leave her. Once that answer is no I know i'm ready. Its a high treshhold but that way I can know I can be as loyal ans loving as she'd deserve.

Relationships where I like someone but know i'm actually just hoping for someone better I don't do.

Crimsyjo · Answer

I believe in being exclusive as soon as you are dating to a point of consistently messaging and seeing each other. If sex is involved then even more so.

I think if you like someone enough to move past the initial meet stage then you have to give love it's best shot to grow and that's not gonna happen if your attention is still divided or wandering looking up potential elsewhere.

I may be promiscuous whilst nobody has my attention but I am deadly serious about actually wanting to be in a relationship and giving it my all.

Laciejordan · Answer

I've always been like you, I don't necessarily "love" the person but do see a possible future with them and an obvious physical attraction. Once I decide I would like to continue seeing them, I will only date them until him or I decide it isn't going to work out.

katiesmuff · Answer

Being in love and saying your in love are two totally different things. Being truly in love is not going to happen often maybe couple of times in a lifetime. Saying your in love comes around as often as changing your underwear. Hollywood is a great example as these folks change partners like it is a wife swapping club. It's also the reason of our high divorce rate as you split up at the first sign of trouble where if you were in a true love relationship many of these issues would be worked out together.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Yes. Liking you or thinking that I love you is not enough. I have to be sure that I want to stay with this wonderful person and only Then will I commit to a relationship. I can't be like many others who just date and are official in a week. And I don't want to be. It doesn't make sense to me to be quick about it.

Phoenix98 · Answer

In my experience just because someone loves you doesn’t mean they are ready to be in a relationship with you.

Which can be for a variety of reasons, pain, trauma, bad past relationships, issues in their personal life and so on.

And I personally won’t get into a relationship with someone unless I feel I’m ready to be in a relationship.

thatshydork · Answer

Falling in love doesn’t mean you’re mature enough or emotionally ready for a relationship.

JSkye · Answer

So... 2¢ of an eccentric girl. Love and exclusivity are unrelated. I am polyamorous (ethical non-monogamy) and am fully capable of loving multiple people without ever thinking about exclusivity

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Talking from an exclusive perspective,  I need feelings to act upon , whether or not feelings are mutual, I'm conceiving a relationship only with established  feelings I can perceive inside me .

NathanDavis · Answer

in my every experience (four times only) feelings have been there first and mutual as well... and then, ending up in a relationship was a natural step towards

itsannalee · Answer

For me love is not that important, as long as he is nice, treat me well, responsible, honest and stable are the most important to have relationship.

HungTexan · Answer

Being in love is one thing. An exclusive relationship is typically an offshoot of love.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, it takes much more than just that.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I picked the third one but I’ve only had a few partners so I’m not 100% sure

Twalli · Answer

My relationship was technically exclusive when our first date started. Since we didn't see anyone else since then. However it was actually exclusive after a successful second date.

jordynthedecayer99 · Answer

You can fall in love first or after but mainly first

Anonymous · Answer

It should.

Unfortunately, we have a lot of people today that love extends about as deep as their crotch. So "love" to them changes with a prevailing breeze.

I'm not against anyone taking there time and being sure about their feelings and what they want. Quite the contrary. But I think too many people today chase what what they want to be true than the REALITY of what is.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

You won't know until you are ready and willing to say that person is your one and only.

ManInChains · Answer

No. Because love never truly lasts. Especially not in today's world. It always ends in divorce or death.

BetaBucks · Answer

Not really. I believe exclusivity should be from the minute you start dating. Other commitments, like time and finances, should be based on logistics and not around love.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

no, it means you are in love... anything else depends on what kind of person you are...

Anonymous · Answer

Yes it does, but I've never been in a relationship... however, I was in love (she wasn't) :(

Ladsin2 · Answer

Doesn't make sense. How do you fall in love with someone you haven't been dating? I think you're talking about infatuation.

Massageman · Answer

Love is often just confused with hormones. It takes more than hormones to make a commitment.

myabe123 · Answer

Don’t you want someone that courts you?

LiamJHayden · Answer

I've never been in love.

msc545 · Answer

These things are very often unrelated.

Grond21 · Answer

Not at all

ashikaa10 · Answer

Takes a while

TheCaller · Answer

Of course

Does being in love mean you are ready for a committed, exclusive relationship?

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