Am I pressuring my girlfriend in a bad way?

Question

So we have been together almost a year, and we have done all of the usual relationship stuff like flirting and texting and sending pics etc,

BUT in person she never wants to go farther and I don't know if im the problem because yes I am frustrated but I also would never want to do anything to make her uncomfortable

I keep telling her how both inside and out she is amazing and I know she has wanted to at times then chickens out and just offers to do something else again i dont wanna be tmi.

If I sound like an asshole please tell me I just am getting frustrated af

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

A relationship and the intimacy that comes with it, takes two. It is good that you are not applying pressure to her, but you are NOT in the wrong for it now being almost a year, and wanting more in the physical realm. You have wants and desires and you are not wrong for wanting them fulfilled by the person you are in a long term relationship with.

You're only going to get to the heart of the matter at this point if you sit down with her and really discuss what's going on with no distractions. Sex for some people is extremely complicated and there can be all sorts of external reasons like religion, worries about pregnancy, fear of sex, shame, guilt, not feeling comfortable in that way, and on and on that can plague someone's mind. You need to be really open and honest with her about your feelings and try your best to get her to open up about her feelings and why she is perhaps scared or apprehensive about taking the next step. Reassure her you want her to feel taken care of, safe, loved, all the things with you, and this is where this is coming from and not just that you want to have sex because you've decided it's time.

To make her feel comfortable, you can tell her that, if she does decide she wants to have sex, she can be in charge and let you know if something is too fast, or too slow, or if she needs a break and that you won't go any further than she suggests to you. I know it may be a pain in the butt, but if you are really keen on her, this may be what she needs to feel like she will be okay with her decision to lose her virginity with you.

VIVANT · Accepted Answer

Do you know if she’s ever had sex before because it’s not strange at all to be attracted to someone but not want to go through with actual sex specially if you haven’t done it before but even if you have, it’s a big deal to some people and can just take a while to get comfortable.

How long have you guys known each other or been together together?

There’s a million reasons why somebody wouldn’t wanna have sex and that doesn’t mean that they’re not into you so I wouldn’t jump to that conclusion at all.

That’s just insecurity & ego…there’s no reason to assume it is that minimally’ you should like talk to her before deciding anything unilaterally… in my opinion it would suck to have gone through all this just to walk away without really knowing what was going on.

couldn’t vote because neither really Are applicable, to my thinking. It’s worth a talk. talk with her 😊

Oncewildtwiceburned · Accepted Answer

Is she attractive? If so she has options, tons. Has she had trauma in her life? Not necessarily sex but a death of a loved one? These are important questions. The last one is if she saw her mom or dad get cheated on, maybe she wants you to propose to her

Juxtapose · Accepted Answer

I don't think she's into you man. If she was into you she would make something happen within the first few months.

If it's this bad when she's young, imagine it when she's older and how dead that bedroom will be. Do you really want that?

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle a little wisdom and a lot of love on your situation! It sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle, but definitely not in the 'asshole' territory from what you're telling me. It's natural to feel frustrated when there's a disconnect between your desires and what's happening in your relationship. Key here is communication, my friend. Have a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend, focus on understanding her perspective without pressuring her. Let her know your feelings but also reassure her that her comfort and boundaries are your top priority. It's all about finding a balance between your needs and respecting hers. Remember, a strong relationship is built on trust, understanding, and loads of patience. Keep the conversation open, loving, and supportive. You've got this! 😉

BetaBucks · Answer

She's not into you bro. It really sounds like you should back way off from her. This is definitely pressure in a bad way. Honestly, if I were you, I'd end it and be very, very nice about it. And make zero mention of anything sexual, ever. I don't think she'll ever be legitimately attracted to you, or respect you. Imagine a life of that feeling.

MicahRaine · Answer

To me it sounds like she's just very hesitant to have premarital sex at all. Maybe that's because she's religious or had a bad experience in the past or is afraid that you'll leave once you have sex with her.

slatyb · Answer

Why is not important? How long are you willing to wait? Personally, I wouldn't have waited a year.

noohair · Answer

She has values. I think you like he because of that. If not, and it is all about you, She should dump you.

TDDMS · Answer

Almost an entire year and no sex? The mistake you made was not ditching her 11 months ago.

elaphe · Answer

You should ask her this question. Maybe she wants to wait until marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

are you Saying that she's not ready for sex yet

Anonymous · Answer

Sex ,? She’s waiting for marriage. Marry her simple

Am I pressuring my girlfriend in a bad way?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Am I too hard on my girlfriend?

Am I pressuring my girlfriend in a bad way?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Am I too hard on my girlfriend?

We're glad to see you liked this post.