Am I too hard on my girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

I find myself getting short tempted with my girlfriend lately. We are in a long term relationship with a dead sex life. She has taken a real negative attitude with sex, that only leaves me frustrated.

I fall asleep at nights hearing my neighbours have sex, and wake up to them having sex. The last time we had morning sex was 5 years ago. When we go to bed now I don't even cuddle with her anymore, because I noticed that if I were to annoy her once during the day then I would get the cold shoulder in bed, so now I don't even bother trying to get close to her and to be honest it doesn't seem to bother her.

She seems content with sex once every month or two, and it's never when I want it. She pretty much just lands if on me once a month, but any other time in between when I want sex there is no give in her.

Why I'm asking am I too hard on her is because lately I've been addicted to redit girlsgonewild which is full of amateur girls uploading sexy pics. When I look at these girls I think to myself that my girlfriend would never have fun like them, am I being unrealistic with my expectations? We were out at the Black Friday sales and she was in pink picking underwear and I asked if I could pick a pair and she pretty much laughed at me and said she buys underwear for her not me.

[SpicedPumpkin]

Wow. I am sorry, it sounds like she has a really, really low sex drive. You're definitely not being too hard on her!

And when you said she wouldn't let you pick out underwear because it's for her not you, well that's just sad... I love my bf picking out lingerie for me because it's for him too. It sounds like you should find someone who is going to better suit you. Someone who wants to have fun and be intimate and wear cute things for you to enjoy. She should get with my ex bf. They can go years without sex and be uninterested and cold & distant together. Some people are just like that and why is beyond me! Find yourself a better girl!!

[Aud_Queen]

That's pretty bad. She's being unreasonable and it's putting a strain on your relationship. Do you know why she's so turned off from sex?

And it sounds like there's a lot more going on here. Like with the underwear part that was kind of harsh. I mean a simple no would suffice if she really wanted to do so herself. She seem so far gone to me... and she's aware of the fact that she doesn't do things for you anymore. she's pushing you away. In my opinion, something has to change because what she's doing isn't right either. Have you tried talking to her and trying to work something out?

And how are you being harsh with her?

[Asker]

I tried to have a big talk with her and she refused to admit there was any problems, and turned it against me saying I'm that sex obsessed and that once your in a long term relationship the sex goes.

[Aud_Queen]

ok from personel experience, when a girl calls you sex obsessed or crazed, it's because you don't show her affection without it leading to sex. and that romance without it is pretty much dead and non existant. Sex becomes a chore for her because in her mind it's all you ever want from her. What she craves is that romance that first attracted her to you. No one what to fight with their partner all the time. It's exhausting and depressing. Once you bring back the romance in the relationship, she'll want to have sex again and it'll because she wants to, and not that she has to.

I'm not saying that's what going on with you guys, but that's how I interpreted that.

[LastGirlScout]

Dude, take this young lady's advice. She is very wise it seems! I agree that women often feel the only affection shown is when the man wants it to lead to intercourse, so they begin to resent it all together.

[Asker]

She isn't interested in any romance, if she gets the idea that I'm trying to be romantic she will put a stop to it. If I tried to send her naughty messages during the day she will ignore any sexual reference, I can't do anything to get a spark from her.

[Aud_Queen]

I think it's time to consider ending your relationship then... And to answer your question your not being hard on her.

[BeInnovative]

Easy to say and maybe not a good suggestion but I cannot see any better solution than this: DUMP HER IMMEDIATELY!

[Jager66]

This is just another reason not to marry, you are lucky enough that you can break it off with her nice and easy and go find one of the millions of women who enjoy sex and who do not use it as a tool to try and manipulate your behavior like this instead of just talking to you.

Time to dump her and find a woman worth spending the short amount of time you get in this life with.

[bDizzie]

What do you do to turn her on throughout the day? I hope you're not expecting her to be ready for sex without any kind of stimulation.

[brendaa]

I think you should break it off with her.

[kheserthorpe]

Any kids with her?

[Asker]

No you have it have sex to make kids

[kheserthorpe]

Dump her ASAP.

You're not too hard you're just putting up with a shell of what was once a relationship. Get the hell out and stop wasting your life with her.