Am I right to feel hurt?

[NeverTrustingAgain]

When a romantic partner replies with' aww I'm sorry ' to your text of I miss you?

We used to be so close, but she got so distant emotionaly in the last 6 months/a year even. No affection at all from her, acting aloof and playing dumb, avoiding any talk of emotions. I didn't reply because I don't know what to say to that. It's no use to tell her about the way I feel because I tried many times. It all ends up with a fight where I get silent treatment and have to apologize if I want to hear from her. I don't know why I try. Ig because I wish it could be as it was before, but it can't.

Might delete this later

[Anonymous]

She just isn’t into you the same anymore. It is so very common for two people to start a relationship (of any kind) one way, then gradually things change. You need to learn when to let go, because right now you’re looking very desperate and there’s nothing less attractive than that.

[NeverTrustingAgain]

Thanks for your reply. I don't agree that I look desperate because we went full 6 months barely texting. And if you love someone there's no harm in saying you miss them.

[Opinion Owner]

“It's no use to tell her about the way I feel because I tried many times. It all ends up with a fight where I get silent treatment and have to apologize if I want to hear from her.”

This is the context I was referring to when I said you’re looking desperate, not the fact that you said you missed her. By me saying this, it’s not a jab at you or to make you feel bad, but me simply acknowledge your efforts to regain “normalcy” in excess, while the effort isn’t being reciprocated. It’s like chasing, that’s what you’re doing.

[NeverTrustingAgain]

Thank you, I misunderstood. Yes, you're right. It is chasing. Do you have any advice on how to stop thinking about this issue and just let go? I guess we had a good run, but it's over now

[Opinion Owner]

No problem! I’ve been in your shoes with not having my love or effort reciprocated, and honestly restraint is your best friend. Now that you recognize (through her actions) she isn’t interested in making things how they used to be, aka being close with you, then you no longer need to give that situation time or hope. Once you can accept what it is, and stop hoping for another outcome, then you’ll start having the restraint to reach out. It isn’t hard to stay away when you know you aren’t wanted. Create some space, and if she starts asking questions then goi don’t owe her an answer. She just needs to respect it.

[Opinion Owner]

**the restraint to not reach out

[NeverTrustingAgain]

That is a great advice and I hope I can follow through fully. Since I've felt her pull away for a long time now, at least I toned down my reaching out and I guess that's a start. Not out of spite, but just recignizing it's no use anymore. I'm sorry you have been in the same spot, it sucks

[Opinion Owner]

You can totally do it! Of course in the beginning it’ll be hard, but give it some time and you’ll adjust. When you have weak moments, then motivate yourself by remembering your worth, and what you deserve. You deserve the simple gesture of having your efforts reciprocated, mainly because you know you aren’t asking for too much since you’re doing it yourself, so why can’t she? Also remembering that what’s meant for you will be for you. You won’t have to fight for her or constantly prove your value, you won’t have to worry about it. That’s the love you want, the kind that comes away and you don’t have to question.

[itsannalee]

I thought “aww i’m sorry”.
It because she feels bad coz can’t be with you that time and makes you miss her. I don’t know, i always positive thinking.
Having negative mind just would hurt your feeling.

[NeverTrustingAgain]

I used to be positive too, but in this context and knowing her ways of expression, she never said ' I miss you too' back in a long long time, it's like she is avoiding that talk.
And I realize that she lost feelings but she doesn't want to admit it. We used to share what is going on in our lives, but now she is so closed off. It's natural to feel used when thinking of the times she told me she would never be the one to end this or slowfade me but that is exactly what she is doing. All the usual excuses of being busy, tired are just excuses. I don't chase anymore like I used to, I see where we stand. This was the last time after a long time I showed my emotions and I realize it's over even if she doesn't want to admit it. I won't be desperate chasing anymore.
Sorry for rambling. It's not easy

[genericname85]

i don't get your issue. i mean she reply say "sucks for you". she replied "aww i'm sorry". that to me shows empathy and emotion.

[Juxtapose]

A woman who really loves you will make it pretty loud and clear. I would find another woman.

[AI Opinion]

You've got every right to feel hurt. That "aww I'm sorry" response can sting, especially when you're pouring your heart out. It seems like there's lovebombing and emotional distance at play, which is frustrating. It's not cool to get hit with the silent treatment and be the one who always apologizes. Wishing for the past is normal, but it might be time to focus on your needs. Keep your head up, and remember, you're not alone in this. 😘

[Nikki1989]

No, you just need to let this go.

[NeverTrustingAgain]

Thank you, agreed. I need to let this whole thing go. She started it, got me to really care for her and now she lost feelings and this is her way of showing it without admiting it using words. I was a fool for trusting