Am I wrong? Or is this hurting?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend wants to gift me stuffs but I don't want any gift. I love gifts, I would love if he gift me anything but I don't want them as
1. I've lived in a family who show no affection to their children so I'm not used to of it. I never really got any presents from anyone ever!
2. I'm not employed and I don't even get pocket money. So I'm very sure I won't be able to gift him anything, even if I manage somehow it'll never be anywhere near his standards. (He use brand stuffs)
2. What if we break up later.. I don't want him to spend even a penny on me.
So I tell him to buy something for himself instead or to save it instead or gift me after you talk to my parents (it'll take at least 2-3 years lol)..

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Well, it’s not really wrong, because some people just don’t like receiving gifts, it’s not their love language. But, it might be his love language; giving gifts, it might make him happy and that’s how he shows his love.


However, it might be wrong to think about the “what if’s” such as a breakup… Regardless if you two breakup or not, I’m sure he wouldn’t regret giving you anything or spending money on you.


You should try to compromise with him. Allow him to buy you at least one small gift, a tiny one. Set a budget. How about $10 for a gift? That’s super small and it could be a sweet gift. It’s cheap, and it would probably make him happy to give it to you.


In return, you can ask him what you can do for him. Ask about love languages. How does he want to feel loved? Since you’re unemployed and don’t have the money, you can try to do certain things that work for his love language. For example, if his love language is Acts of service, you can make him his favorite meal every month. Or, if his love language is words of affirmation, you can write him a love letter or send a message telling him how much he means to you, etc.

[yucychan]

I feel sorry for your boyfriend. It's so painful to be in a relationship with you.
You overthink things.

[IMuser]

Both

It is wrong because you are not telling him your worries

It is hurting because he sees that his action of gifting you is annoying for you. This may lead to him feeling that whatever he does for you is disappointing and in the long run, may stop thinking that you would ever need a gift

Solution: show him this question and ask for opinion

[RandomGuy1030]

Yes you are the perfect woman. Pre abused women are the best