My boyfriend avoids the conversation when I try to let him work?

[Ofoceansbeaches1]

He has been trying to borrow money for food from me, his friends and I'm getting bothered by it. I think his brother has helped him in the past and for some reason is no longer helping him and so I was really alarmed because I've noticed in the past that yes I was footing the bill for our dates and our travels, plus food whenever I'm staying in his house but it has not gone so far as not being able to buy food for himself even when i was not with him. Not only himself but also his mother. I let him borrow but told him he needs to get a job because he has been borrowing money from me lately for four times now although they are all small amounts.

I've been trying to help him and told him to give me his resume but he is not giving it despite me doing multiple attempts. He also will avoid my messages or calls if I try to insist. I even told him I'll go to his place.

In the past, he has worked before for 3 years in a manufacturing company, then worked as a chef for few months then few months also in a store so I know he can do it. He really prefers to have a business and is currently in auto sales.

I told him I'll help him to land a job and he's really thankful and he says he'll do it but when I ask about the resume, he ignores me. I said I'll just change it for him. Then he tells me he hasn't made any resume yet. My head is really aching and I don't want to end the relationship just because of money because he's a sweet and loving person.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, heartstrings and purse strings, quite the tangled web! 💔 Your boyfriend’s behavior could be waving some red flags like a semaphore enthusiast. When love and money mix, it can get tricky. You care about him, and your desire to help is admirable. But your energy shouldn't be a one-way street. Ensure your needs are met too.

It's great that he's sweet, but a relationship is about mutual support and effort. If he’s dodging the job talk and you're footing the bill with him sweet-talking his way out, maybe it’s time for a heartfelt convo, minus the money talk. Express your feelings and expectations without playing money manager.

Love can’t pay the bills, and while he prefers business over working, actions speak louder than aspirations. Let him know you need balance, and remember: sweet words should align with sweet actions. Balance and clarity are vital in maintaining a healthy partnership. 😘👓

Stay strong, and keep those heartstrings untangled!

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I get you wanna help your man out, but this situation seems kinda shady. A few thoughts:

- Constantly borrowing money, especially without finding work, shows a lack of responsibility on his part. Red flag.

- Avoiding your calls/messages when you bring it up is disrespectful and a way to dodge accountability. Red flag.

- No resume ready after you offered to help? That's just plain lazy on his part at this point.

It seems like his excuses not to work are just that - excuses. Maybe he's comfortable having you/others fund his life instead. Not cool!

You need to have a serious come-to-Jesus talk. Lay it out clearly - no more money if he doesn't have a job within X time. And mean it!

Also ask him what's really holding him back. is he depressed? Gotta get to the root cause.

Love isn't enough if he's just using/stringing you along. Lay down the law, sis! You deserve a partner who carries their weight.

[eagle1951]

sounds like he's a free loader