People who have cheated, what made you do it?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Selfishness , cheating is a selfish act period , Most people that cheat , cheat because something is missing in their current relationship, it could be lack of intimacy and affection from their partner , it could be because they don’t feel valued or wanted or appreciated by their partner , or they can cheat because it was convenient for them to do so thinking they can get away with it. Overall cheating can occur for a lot of selfish reasons. Most commonly is lack of intimacy and affection in a relationship, if a partner isn’t giving the same way they want to receive in return , Most men want intimacy and affection and if his partner isn’t giving it to him , he will probably get it elsewhere. Why it’s stupid for couples to withhold intimacy and affection from each other without a valid reason to do so. especially if ot was never an issue before. I have cheated one time on a girl when I was younger because she only cared about herself and never really factored non my feelings , she started withholding intimacy and affection from me and another girl I was friends with told me to leave her , and said I deserve better than that shit , so one thing lead to another I ended up having sex with that girl friend and I immediately mended it with my girlfriend , I felt bad for what I did but I also felt I was justified for my actions , even though I knew it was wrong , it felt amazing being wanted again. So I ended it immediately with my girlfriend and told her the truth that I cheated on her , my girlfriend wanted to give me another chance and I was shocked as to why? She said she knew she was treating me like shit and that she can forgive me , I told her No that she is best to move on , because I like this other girl instead and I want to date her instead. At that point I knew to never cheat on a girl again because I pictured myself on her shoes. And realized how selfish I was by going down that road. Now if I am not happy on a relationship , I end it and walk away first before even considering bringing another girl into the picture , My ex started becoming selfish with me and started withholding intimacy and affection with me so I ended it with her and told her she isn’t the girl for me , I was tired of her lame excuses as to why she no longer wanted to be intimate and affectionate with me when it was never an issue before , she couldn’t give me valid reasons so I ended it and told her I wish her well. I could of cheated on her but I didn’t , I felt the respectful thing to do was to end it with her first , so I could move on and meet a girl that wants me like I want her

Med_guy1978 · Accepted Answer

Guys usually do it because they're not getting any or much sex in their relationship or they're getting sex sometimes but something is missing, maybe some scenario or reinactment that turns them on. maybe the what she is wearing or the way she's dressed or surely her body type (usually slim). Some men have the sex but will do it anyway if offered or some will look for it purposely. I think women usually fall for confidence and that's usually a guy who has that confidence usually doesn't want a relationship and isn't in love with her, his intentions are purely sexual and I think girls notice this and feel it's some kinda challenge. Girls rarely go for that in love with you guy who could be hot and drools all over you but has sincere intentions. I do say usually as there are all kinds of reasons and combinations.

ClaircognizantEmpath · Accepted Answer

hey, i will try to recall a night, a couple years after my second child... the relationship with the father... for the last five years my begging at the end, for him to be present instead of working all the hours they were pretty much awake... i ended up out one night... and i swear down... the essence in me, of me, the original me, the me, that had a life, was existing in those few hours as the girl i was... i can know by experience, i somehow detached from who i was, myself and to others in the real everyday realm for those few hours... i became m and it was wild... i have to admit it was a shock that i as a female seemed to have the capacity to detach entirely from my ltr... that was at the time an original one off, however, around two years later, that scenario was insane,... for around seven years, two offspring... despite having a ltp and two kids, a house of our own etc, i was the most loneliest and sad I've ever known... when i say beg, i literally mean beg him, to be home more, do more family things... it was just me and the two kids... well one weekend at the wits end, i begged him to attend a local family fete with me and our kids... hour late, call, on my way, two hours, same, three hours, i hit a point where i went upstairs packed an overnight bag and was just going to exit upon his arrival... to me... i was expressing a final desperation after years and he just blew it... the moment he walked in and i took my bag and left... my plan was awful my bestie was away, however, my niece her neighbour had a key,,, the only place i had to go was my old local pub ten miles away... i went... was comforted by the locals who knew me... end of the night... the fork in the path where one can go left or right... i lived it... i chose turn right... just before it was too late... i stopped a person... suggested a night... it happened... and i will full admit... the energy, the intimacy, the connection, the energy was i feel the last five years of my life... believe me that soul, that night, was a part of me, who literally fought her way out... and help create a life changing experience... however... warning... this one time thing did raise its ugly head about two years later... and it broke my long destroyed ltr... nothing had ever happened after that night and yet it was still the event that brought about the end... weird... ftr he had cheated on me from my pregnancy onwards... anyways whats your stories?

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

In general, cheaters have self-esteem, sexual arousal, dissatisfaction issues.

Specifically, cheaters have examples of parents who were cheaters too, see those parents as successful or role models and incorporate that into their own lives. Witness the Kennedy brothers whose father was a well-known cheater. Rose Kennedy put up with Big Joe because I guess he brought home the bacon and was an influential man and she was tied down by 11 children.

So, why did Big Joe cheat? Guess he thought it was his privilege. Too much self-esteem, needed more sexual arousal than that of a constantly occupied 11-child mother, dissatisfied with that situation, felt he deserved more... Ego issues.

And, sadly, his sons emulated Big Joe and felt they deserved more, and they shouldn't be satisfied with LESS THAN more.

Psychologically, I'd say a "more" aspect is the central issue. People who cheat want more than what they have. They might think the person they're with "isn't enough, doesn't love them enough, isn't smart enough, isn't attentive enough, isn't around enough," etc. And if they get an opportunity for the "more" they deserve, they should take it...

They're a mess and should be avoided. It's some sort of deep wound and most of them would not consider fixing it because they don't think anything is wrong.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to delve into the juicier side of relationship psychology! Cheating is often not just about physical attraction, but emotional needs going unmet. It might stem from a lack of communication, feeling undervalued, or even chasing that thrilling lovebombing sensation. 🌟 Sometimes, it's the adrenaline rush of something forbidden. However, it could also point to bigger red flags within a relationship. Let's keep it spicy but respectful in those passionate entanglements! 😉

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Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

I was in class taking a test & I didn’t know the answer so I cheated & looked at my friends paper.

exitseven · Answer

I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years. She was saving herself for marriage and I had never had sex before. We had not seen each other for 6 months. I met a girl at a party ans she invited me back to her place. We hung out for a while and out of the blue she asks me if I wanted to have sex. I did not know when the next opportunity would be, if ever, so I did it.

SuperJJ · Answer

I haven't, but an ex did it. He told me that he was drunk, the girl took advantage of this and got him in bed with her. In fact, I later found out that it was not a one-time thing. He had cheated on me several times. Naturally I kicked him out. I think that some men, and girls too, just can't be faithful to their partners.

blueonblack22 · Answer

People who cheat simply have a bad moral compass. Sure there are different scenarios. I would be more understanding if someone is estranged and lonely from their spouse for over 2 years or something. But again it’s a lack principle.

The problem I have is how people try to self justify their bs to protect their egos. It’s actually worse then the cheating incident in itself.

Anonymous · Answer

I made a mistake once. There was no sex or touching involved but it was sexual in nature. The only reason I did it... I let my insecurities take over. I let the outside world convince me that I wasn't good enough for the man I was with.

I think most of the time cheating stems from a lack of self-worth. Other times, it's the complete opposite, the feeling of superiority.

DrPepper12 · Answer

The shrinks call it IMOMENT (pronounce 1 moment with the idea being to pause)

Intoxicated
Means
Opportunity
Motive
Ego
Novelty
Taboo

Similar acronym for alcohol temptations:

Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

HALT

TheorionMage · Answer

Self-image, ... unrequited fetish-ed needs (what rocks yer world) and willing opportunity--- there's a difference between 'auditioning' a replacement and scratching a mutual itch short - term~ ;)

Anonymous · Answer

My ex cheated on me. He said he was horny and her flirting stroked his ego (and her hand stroked other things).

Anonymous · Answer

Since having kids, my wife and I don't have sex any more. It was years before I cheated, but at some point my hormones got the better of me.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I’ve only ever cheated as a teenager. What teenage boy isn’t a piece of shit? Lmao.  I cheated on one person because it was long distance and I couldn’t handle the lack of physical intimacy

Anonymous · Answer

I was in a relationship for convenience but not committed to it. When the opportunity for what I thought was something better came along, I cheated. Alcohol may have been involved.

UnusualWeirdo · Answer

I wasn't getting the attention I crave, I wanted more than what she was giving.

jahaims · Answer

People who cheat, cheat to cope with self hate. The justification for it is just the lie they tell themselves so they feel less guilt.

SnowBunny18 · Answer

Nothing made me do it, I was caught off guard by this Black guy with confidence that I’ve never seen anything like.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Revenge, whether or not misguided, must be up there

Shihab_91 · Answer

I never did but i really wonder too, because when i love someone i can't see anyone else

Anonymous · Answer

Never cheated, never will.

dougeats · Answer

I was seduced by an older woman

Effie1998 · Answer

I was weak. Opportunity.

kaucky1 · Answer

If cheat cheat together morph into other people

KingslayerC · Answer

Payback

woahhh152 · Answer

I wanna know it too

Predetor · Answer

Yes...

People who have cheated, what made you do it?

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People who cheated, why did you do it?

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