What can your friend of the opposite sex give you that your spouse can't?

[marish01]

I refuse to have male friends even though I'm single.

The only male friend I will ever have will be the only creature I will ever be intimate with; my husband.

Updates

1 y

Are friends of the opposite sex useful for anything else other than being an assistant of your relationship with your spouse?
How else should they be used?

Updates

1 y

I didn't ask "what can your friend of the opposite sex give you"
I asked "What can your friend of the opposite sex give you?"

Now that I put together those 2 questions, do you see the difference between them?

[The_Confusion]

Depends on your definition of what the fuck a friend is. Is there a real line between "friend" and "acquaintance"? Is there a specific number of hours you have to spend talking to each other per week in order to qualify as "friends"? Why don't you ask "neighbor of opposite gender"... no, a "sibling of opposite gender?" Friends can be mentally categorized in the same boxes as neighbors and siblings, and somehow people have no issues having those of the opposite gender. You know, those people whose phone number you saved. Do you want to fuck everyone of the opposite gender in your contact list? Probably not. ﾠ

Now, let's find a way to brag about me getting the MHO. I know I will get the MHO tomorrow. Just like in the "makeup" question. If a woman on the internet was posting the exact same memes as @d_bone_steak posts in his opinions, I'd still like the memes, and be this sort of "friend" who likes the content they post online. I haven't even subscribed to his onlyfans, and neither I would if he was a girl. But I know enough to expect him to say that only fаggots can fit into female friend circle. When put we put "friend" in this sentence then it's true.
ﾠ
But there is another definition of friendships. Think of couples who are friends with other couples. You (female) imagine that your wifeband (male) are bestfriend with your best friend's (female) her wifeband (male). Wouldn't you also label him your mutual friend who is of the opposite gender? It's the language here, you might say that he isn't your friend, rather your husband's friend and the husband of your best friend. But calling him "not a friend" would sound like you are enemies.

[D_Bone_Steak]

You're only going to get the MHO because I didn't answer. If I did, I'd steal it like I'd steal your Grandmother because I'm dead sexy. I think she's logical though and knows you're the best second choice when I'm not around. Enjoy the MHO.

[The_Confusion]

Update: just like your siblings.

[HawkPerception]

Female friends are just people, just as male friends are with a couple differences. They provide different perspectives and approaches to social scenarios. It's healthy to have both males and females in your social circle as long as you're not crossing any boundaries (such as being a home wrecker) and you're not just maintaining communication in the hopes that one day you might get a shot at them.

[Account]

He understands me and I understand him. He has no reason to lie or sugar-coat things because he doesn't care about making a good impression. Our relationship has been tested in years and endured.
Also it is a stable thing.
If I break up with someone I was in a relationship with, the person I broke up with won't give a shit about me after some point and that is understandable (I won't care about them either) . However, my friend will be a part of my life regardless. You probably don't understand because you never had it. Also you are seeing it the wrong way. It has nothing to do with them being a man. He just happened to be a man. I feel the exact same way about my friends who are women.

[midnightmoon05]

Friends between m/f. is a lie one believes. One party will get hurt.
I don’t have opposite sex friend. My hubby is my best friend.

[AI Opinion]

As your friendly Girls Ask Guys relationship coach, my aim is to shed some light on different dynamics. Friends of the opposite sex can offer different perspectives, experiences, and insights, which enriches our understanding of the world. Plus, they can sometimes share advice that feels less biased when it comes to relationship matters. Sometimes, these friendships bring a little extra fun and variety to our social life. Remember: Healthy boundaries make it possible! 😉

[marish01]

I answer to this bot so human being can read my response to that point that friends of the opposite sex give relationship advice. The interference of them in my relationship is not a good reason to have them as friends but a good reason not to have them in my life at all. It is beyond creepy to vent about your relationship with them. Imagining it makes me sick to my stomach.

[AviatorTom]

Unbiased opinions, and a different view of things.

[marish01]

Answer my question

[AviatorTom]

I did

[HawkPerception]

@marish01 Not sure how you don't see that he answered your question perfectly.

[marish01]

Give an example

[AviatorTom]

@marish01 Per your update... the only difference between the two is a capital W and a question mark.

You asked for an example, so here's one: I wanted to do something nice for my wife for her birthday. She says she doesn't want anything special, so I talk with a female friend I work with, who gave me some nice ideas. In the end, my wife was very happy on her birthday.

[marish01]

That's another reason why I don't want him to have female friends.

[AviatorTom]

@marish01 That makes no sense. You don't want him to do something nice for you?

[marish01]

I want but only when it is HIS initiative not a woman's

[AviatorTom]

@marish01 This is HIS initiative. He's just getting advice from his friends.

[marish01]

When the present he gives me is a result of another person's advice that present is not HIS initiativd

[AviatorTom]

@marish01 Let me get this straight. If your guy knows that you like jewelry, rings in particular, and he talks to his female friend and asks her if she thinks you would like a particular ring (that he's chosen), you'd be upset if you found out another woman told him he was a good idea? If that's true, I hope the guy knows what he's getting into with you.

[marish01]

Why would a random woman who doesn't know me know what I like but my love doesn't know what I like?
The more you go into details why friends of the opposite sex are necessaty the more ridiculous it sounds.

[Caroline91]

First, you don’t “use” people, friends or otherwise. I grew up with just a big brother, no sisters. I have always been close with him and it is natural for me to be friends with guys. When I share a lot in common with someone, man or woman, we may become friends. The only difference, now that I am married, is that I make sure my husband knows who all of my friends are. I also don’t spend dime alone with a male friend except in public places. It’s the same with my husband with his female friends. It is nice to have a friend who can share the perspective of the opposite sex.

[marish01]

What perspective can your male friend give that your spouse can't?

[Caroline91]

When my husband and I recently went through a rough patch, one of my male friends helped me see things from my husband's perspective. It completely turned things around.

[marish01]

Good for you.
No man should be between me and my husband.

[loveslongnails]

Without even "listing" all the possible things a friendship has to offer, with the whole VARIETY of people on the planet, I'll just say this:
* The idea that one person can give you absolutely everything you will ever want or need in life, is utterly absurd to me.

If you can't even "imagine" what you might possibly discuss, gain from or learn from a person of the opposite sex who ISN'T your husband/wife, I can't explain it to you, other than to say "that's what life is all about".

[marish01]

Read my question
"What can your friend of the opposite sex give you that your spouse can't?"

[loveslongnails]

* Conversation on topics my spouse knows nothing about
* Different perspectives on... hmm, everything
* Playing musical instruments together
* Companionship, if I want it, when my S. O. travels for extended periods.
* Watching sporting events (my S. O. doesn't care for that)
hmmm... there's all kinds of things, these are just a few

[marish01]

And a male friend can't do them with you?

[loveslongnails]

"Can" means ability. Your presumption is that IF a male "could" do any of things, I "should" chose him over a female friend. Well...
* I have no male friends who play the music I like to play, or know the songs I do. I have female friends who do
* A male can't give me female perspective
* I dislike watching most sporting events with men. They're rabid, loud and drunk.
* If I want male company, I call my male friends. If I want female company, I call my female friends. The vibe is VERY different, depending on what I want. It's my choice who I wish to be around.

[Grond21]

I don't think this is the right way to think about it. If it's only about what they can give you versus what your spouse cannot, when you flip that script it means that the only thing your spouse can give you that your friends cannot is sex. But this is degrading of the spousal connection and diminishing what it means to be married.

Clearly, it doesn't work like this. If you have good self control, a healthy attitude towards relationships, and a deep understanding of platonic friendships, you can have friends with many different people of both sexes

[marish01]

"the only thing your spouse can give you that your friends cannot is sex."
Kids, sharing our lives together

[Grond21]

Exactly! That's why it's a bad metric

[Grond21]

Regarding your update, if you are using them for something they are not your friends, they are tools

[marish01]

Yes that is why they are good

[Grond21]

Someone who thinks a good friend is one who is a good tool has a very twisted view of friendship

[marish01]

Yes people who have friends of the opposite sex are like that

[Grond21]

I think you are wrong. Only those who are willing to use other people are like that. Those who have actual friends of the opposite sex are just friends. There's no usury involved

[Grond21]

... those two questions are the same

[marish01]

Read again

[Grond21]

"what can your friend of the opposite sex give you"
"What can your friend of the opposite sex give you?"

The only difference is a question mark and a capital W, but they are both the same. I copy and pasted.

[Caroline91]

The only difference is one doesn't have a question mark.

[marish01]

The 2nd question was my original question
"What can your friend of the opposite sex give you that your spouse can't?"

I thought I copied succesfully in the previous update

[Grond21]

No worries Marish

[Shamalien]

Well I don’t have a spouse, and when I’m in a relationship, I find that female friends don’t have much of a healthy place in my life…that being said; I do have one consistent one, a penpal far away. I’ve told my partners about her, she’s chill and doesn’t try anything weird, so they were cool with it. At this point, we’ve known eachother for so long, it’s just nice to have a friend who you can talk to about life n shit with.

As a single person it’s nice to have friends of the opposite sex as it helps you meet people. Not friends on the same level as my male friends, more at arms length, but friends is fine

[ClassicDropout]

This is the worst narrative lmao. I'm convinced that being unable to maintain friendships with people of the opposite gender is an immaturity thing. The entire premise of the question is selfish and egotistical. If you can't be friends with someone because they have a penis/vagina that you will never see or touch, you are the problem.

[marish01]

It is not inability it is lack of desire

[ClassicDropout]

You are unable

[marish01]

I don't have interest in it

[NathanDavis]

it's very simple, and it is amazing... their friendship

and the more, close and good great friends possible, the better... just like I didn't limit myself to have just one or two friend, I do have around eight of them

I would not quit my friendships just because my spouse would also be my best friend + the romance and amazing feelings

[marish01]

Female friends?

[NathanDavis]

both, men and women

[Anonymous]

refuse to have male friends, even tho you're single... welp good luck with staying single then! the only way you can date is IF YOU HAVE MALE FRIENDS. i know. crazy. that or you just trust some weirdo psycho on a dating app that you don't even know yet. cool.

to answer your question, my male friend can give me a different perspective, free from any bias.

[marish01]

About your boyfriend?

[Opinion Owner]

i have a husband. i was answering your question about male friends.

[marish01]

Different perspective about your husband?

[marish01]

What perspective can your male friend give that your spouse can't?

[Opinion Owner]

at the end of my comment i said "my male friend can give me a DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, FREE FROM ANY BIAS."

[marish01]

About what?

[Nerdvana]

Advice on how to better understand my partner, when I can't seem to figure out what she is feeling or why she is feeling a certain way. Ideas/suggestions on gifts to buy her. In my opinion, you going to put your husband on a pedestal, and when he lets you down, you will be very hurt.

[marish01]

How else do you use your female friend?

[LiamJHayden]

1. Shared memories of childhood
2. Inside jokes that come from a lifetime of friendship.
3. I love to play chess. None of the women I have dated has, but I have a female friend who does, and she is good enough to give me a challenge.

In any even, no insecure woman is going to end my decades of friendships.

[MicahRaine]

Honestly not much. For me the biggest thing I got from my female friends while dating was prayer for my relationship and career lol

Also advice on how to please my girl

[plundo]

Just seperating like that is so weird in my opinion. Like I dont got many female friends but why shouldn't I have female friends? They are people and if they're nice, why not having a platonic friendship? It's sad that so much in our society is seen that way? As if we couldn't "control" ourselves and respect our relationships...

[MisterMystery]

You are a romantic person. Your way of thinking is beautiful. You have a very rare perspective.

[WhitneySnow]

The same as a friend of the same gender can give you. Supporting, companionship, someone to confide in and hang out with.

[marish01]

What can your friend of the opposite sex give you that your spouse can't?

Your spouse can't give you "Supporting, companionship, someone to confide in and hang out with."

[WhitneySnow]

Yes but your spouse shouldn’t be the only person in your life. And there’s no reason that the other people in your life who give you all of those things have to be the same gender as you.

[marish01]

I refuse to have male friends. That companionship is useless and needless

[mobiusforniner]

I used to be a proponent of opposite sex friendships. That was until my closest opposite sex “friend” wanted more than just friends.

so what can an opposite sex friend give you that your spouse can’t? Another piece of ass, apparently.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Nothing. The thing is I'm not friends with people to get something from them, I'm friends because i like having friends and being a friend. :)

[GOLDFISH_smile]

They shouldn't be used at all. They're FRIENDS, not TOOLS.

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I see the difference: one has a question mark, and the other doesn't. My answer is the exact same to both tho

[marish01]

Was that really the only thing your brains could differentiate?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Oh yes, one is also capitalized! Good one I missed that. Answer is still the same tho

[marish01]

Your brains 😵‍💫

[marish01]

Read my original question

[GOLDFISH_smile]

Read my original answer.

[marish01]

So nothing. Then what is the point of having male friends?

[GOLDFISH_smile]

The same point of having female friends: I like having friends and being a friend.

[Anonymous]

Nothing, unless you're with a disrespectful, cold spouse. Then, you need friends to get basic companionship. Even though you should probably just divorce.

[Berethor]

Well who need a friend when you can have more than friend, though most females have boring hobbies, so it make sense to have a tomboy girl as a female friend.

[Berethor]

As for the update, well any friend can be useful, whatever the friend is a male or female.

[SixFootSexy]

You keep saying this, but I don't think you'll ever find a husband with that attitude and approach.

[marish01]

Ah sure. What kind of man would want to marry a woman who refuses to have a male friend other than him.

[SixFootSexy]

I'm just saying, how are you supposed to meet a husband unless you have an arranged marriage?

[marish01]

By chatting

[SixFootSexy]

It seems obvious that you don't know how to find a husband.

[Phoenix98]

Nothing really most if not all things a friend can give you a partner can to. Aside from things like unbiased opinions or a different viewpoint.

[SolitarySolace]

I don’t do female friends. Having female friends means it’ll lead to a relationship with one of them and I avoid relationships with women like the plague

[Juxtapose]

I am bisexual so there is literally no point in restricting who can be my friend or not. I am friends with whoever and don't discriminate based on arbitrary traits.

[Lokiion]

Different point of view on certain topics, unbiased, and some of them understand me a lot not that the same sex doesn’t I just think it’s on a deeper level

[paledreams]

Lol guys will say - a friendly non combative convo lol "side chick" lol 🐣

[elizamichale1]

Well a different kind of experience n joy... assuming u meant to ask sexual experience

[elizamichale1]

@xjjsjxjzzzjzzks well she could have... who m i to be bothered

[Staximus]

Maybe getting to know a guy before you marry him would be a good idea there smart guy

[marish01]

Yes. For sure

[Intheclouds00]

Something different. That's why guys cheat with women that are not on par with their wife. Why they punch down

[Sonora]

I don't see the reasoning behind this. I have some great female friends.

[RedInnocent69]

Hard to find that only creature if you don’t know any males

[marish01]

In what sense?

[RedInnocent69]

You want a guy to be your spouse. You don’t have any friends that are guys…

[marish01]

Sure

[saprasheenu]

"A friend of the opposite sex can offer a different perspective and platonic support, complementing the emotional depth of a spouse without replacing it."

[Anonymous]

nothing but most users here just want to say sex without saying it out loud

[Anonymous]

What can my friend of the opposite sex give me? I don't understand... besides, I don't have a spouse.

[SpaceGalaxy]

Anal sex (if i were married which i am not)

[Daniela1982]

A STD? AIDS? CRABS maybe?

[Peridot25]

Exist. I don’t have a partner 😂😂😂

[marish01]

What perspective can your male friend give that your spouse can't?

[marish01]

Accidental response

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's legit nothing

[DerekC321]

Do you ever plan to get married?

[marish01]

Yes. I won't stay a virgin forever.

[DextroShade]

Nothing, which is why I don't have them.

[Pete671]

Honesty about how women think,,,

[AmeerX]

Then why do you not marry already?

[PrettyCrumblBb]

You're socially awkward then.

[kaucky1]

If spouse can get along with friend🙃☺️🥹🥹

[nawtee_me]

A paternity suit…. lol

[Anonymous]

Forbidden sex!

[Opinion Owner]

@update: Friends are pretty much used as friends, no?

[Opinion Owner]

@update2: your quotes are LITERALLY the same. There is no difference.

[Jmmmfi4]

I DON'T DO PLATONIC FRIENDS FUCK THAT SHIT

[TallAnon]

Weird flex, but ok

[marish01]

Explain

[Lightning8]

I think he's saying that it's as if you feel so desirable that male friends won't resist interfering with your relationship to get with you. Or that you speak with what can sound like an unusual amount of certainty and control over who you will marry

[Lightning8]

Unusually high amount*

[noohair]

Diversity.

[Cheerfull009]

So sincere lady

[Anonymous]

You're 34 babe

[marish01]

33. But nothing will change when I'm 34

[Opinion Owner]

Bruh if you want a high quality husband you gotta get on the ball