Is it bad or wrong to fantasize and fall love with a male work crush boss?

[Frmiykot]

I feel like it’s wrong cause I don’t know nothing about him. He could have a whole family at home or have a kid or a girlfriend or wife.

Yet I fantasize about him and imagine he might wanna be my “daddy” not literally just a masculine leader and protector , and marry me.

I almost feel bad for him. I spent years projecting onto him this hero image and savior. He’s a great man sure but does he deserve a younger woman at work daydreaming and being in love with him?

i feel wrong and bad. I almost feel bad for him. I haven’t told him I like him or anything but I guess I feel bad that a girl exists who’s in love with him without even knowing much about him, and yet he’s being so kind and nice everyday as a nice coworker/boss.

i feel so wrong suddenly and I don't know why. Just yesterday I was pretty happy imagining we would end up together. Today I had a change of heart for some reason.

I feel like a horrible person and I wanna cry now. It feels so wrong. I’m so sorry. 😢

[bowenw]

I think it's normal to fantasize about people, so don't feel bad about doing it. Crushes are also normal. We can't control who we fall for. If you are serious about him try to find out if he is in a relationship with anyone as a place to start.

[spartan55]

Maybe you should not be a Jezebel and go for guys who aren't taken. So gross.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach here on GAG, let me say fantasizing about a crush is human nature, even if it's your boss 🤭. You’re not a horrible person. It's like having a cupcake while on a diet—you know you shouldn't indulge, but the imagination is sweet! Falling in love with an idealized image can be thrilling yet tricky. Remember to ground fantasies in reality and explore your feelings, but be gentle with yourself. You're not alone in this emotional maze. Keep exploring you, lovely 😉.

[Frmiykot]

Your nice

[Stu234432]

No, I think a lot of people have felt that way. It's understandable, don't be hard on yourself.

[Frmiykot]

Thanks :) do you think it’s fair to him though? He didn’t ask to be part of this. I feel guilty because what if he doesn’t remotely feel that way for me in return. It’s just so unfair to him

[Stu234432]

You're not doing anything wrong, I don't think. Does he know you like him? I think a lot of men would be flattered

[Frmiykot]

He doesn’t know. It’s just he didn’t invite me into his world. He hasn’t opened up to me. I don’t know what his life is like. I just know he’s a good worker/boss and a gentleman at work.

[Stu234432]

It might be because of the working relationship you both have, he could get in trouble if he gets too close to you because he's your boss. I know it sucks when you feel that way about someone, from a distance. Been there, I get it.

[Frmiykot]

We used to be just coworkers but from different departments.
But year he then became my boss (still different departments but it’s still a boss over me technically). I guess I have to let the feeling go and not fantasize.

[Stu234432]

If he's not your direct boss then it's more okay, I think (I'm not sure how distant you guys are). You might have a casual conversation with maybe and get to know him better.

[Frmiykot]

Thanks that’s a good idea. I’d be open to that. It’s kind of hard to get the chance to do that because we don’t often have the chance to just be around each other and chat. I always feel pressured to work fast and do tasks and I’m sure he has very important boss things to take care of. But hopefully we get the chance one day. !

[Stu234432]

Yes, I totally get that. It can be tricky to find an opportunity for a casual chat at work, but I think that you'll be bound to run into each other in the near future. I personally love it when I can just share with someone I like.

[Dan290290]

Nothing wrong with it, I know women who feel that kind of attraction, it's fine

[Frmiykot]

He didn’t invite me into his world. It feels wrong to imagine he could want to love me.

[Dan290290]

It's not wrong, it just means you're passionate, but he's your boss and married, so it would be risky for him

[Frmiykot]

I don't know if he’s married. It’s just something I have to consider. He COULD be. BUT THANKS for saying I’m just passionate.

[Dan290290]

Sorry, my bad. But I think passionate is a good thing, it's honestly rare :) And it's cool that you'd like to know him more and vise versa, you could have a conversation sometime

[Frmiykot]

That would be cool. Thanks :)

[Dan290290]

Anytime, very welcome. Best of luck ☺️

[Frmiykot]

Thanks

[Ironic_Method]

This is actually very common. I've had plenty of associates do this and I'm not even that likeable.

[Frmiykot]

Did they approach you wish their feelings or something like that? I don’t think I’ve ever approached any colleague or boss with them.

[Ironic_Method]

When I worked as a manager my phone number was on all outgoing emails and correspondence. I would get text messages from unknown numbers ranging from very mild/awkward "hi, how's ur nite going?" to some x-rated things once or twice a week.

[DtMe89]

Bad? Yes. Cliche? Hell yes