Is it wrong to have a work crush when you are already in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

Please no judgmental comments I already feel bad enough about it.

I love, love my boyfriend to pieces. He's a angel and I don't deserve him. He's the sweetest kindest man I've ever met and when I'm with him I feel so in love. We been together for 3 years and in that time I've only ever had eyes for him and I found it hard to find other men attractive and I still somewhat do.

there's this guy at work who actually never really caught my eye before because I thought he was too good looking to even bother approaching me and he's pretty shy. He only talks to one girl at work and I'm not sure if she's his stister. They always come into work together but they just don't give off relationship vibes at all and they do look alike abit.

He actually approached me and was asking about when does training start. He always talking to me at training and we found we are actually gonna be training together. Now that's all he talks about with me but seems like it's just a excuse to talk to me because he drops other little questions in like who do I eat lunch with and stuff.

He only ever talks to me when I actually make a physical effect to look nice to as most the time I can't be bothered which is kinda a red flag to be as it comes off a little shallow and my boyfriend will take me as I am weather or not I make effort to look nice.

I do not talk to this guy at all unless I have to or he talks to me first because I don't wanna give off the wrong Impression and would rather not seem so keen to talk to him then lead him on. I get so nervous around him and try and play it cool. It feels like having a silly school girl crush again but that's all it is. I would never in a million years not only because we work together but I love my boyfriend so much and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. I'd hate myself if I ever hurt him even if he forgave me, I would never be able to forgive myself.

Updates

+1 y

He looks at girls too and I can tell when he likes a girl and I get a little jealous but I will make fun. But when I ever like a man I feel so guilty about

Updates

+1 y

Found out today this guy is 5 years younger than me and has a girlfriend so it's kinda helped me move past it now. But I made myself look abit of a knob head today in front of him

[dorksided1]

Feelings/ chemistry can just happen, you haven't acted on them. You sound like you are doing the adult thing in how you are handling it.

[Asker]

The thing is I think he likes me back and I don't wanna lead him on but I also don't wanna lose him as a friend

[Asker]

The other day I caught him staring at me and he's so HOT but I love my boyfriend and he's just as hot too. Sometimes I worry because my boyfriend is 5 years older than me and he's the only boyfriend I've ever had. I wanna spend the rest of my life with him but at the same time I feel like I'm missing out on my younger year's by already settling down.

[dorksided1]

Do you really feel like you are missing out or are you just scared I found the person this is it? This is how my life is and will be predictable, routine, like maybe there is no more to it, life in the grind, same old routine etc?

[Asker]

Kinda yes but I wouldn't leave my boyfriend for anything. I know he's the man I'm meant to be with

[dorksided1]

Then just keep doing what you are doing with the other

[Shy_Steve]

I think it would be normal to feel Guilty about it if you are already in a Relationship.

Most of us Guys think it's wrong because you Girls would have 2 People liking you at the same time which hardly ever happens for us Guys so it can make you look Slutty if a Guy finds out so it's like saying, "Is being rude wrong?".

[Vikkrram]

You never have any control on whom you would have crush.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You can’t control attraction but what you’re describing with your boyfriend, that sounds perfect, don’t lose him.