Now I have a conviction for assault, should I stay in the marriage?

[Anonymous]

This has been a long time playing out. Started 19 months ago when, alcohol fueled I smashed a beer bottle and threatened by wife. Okay sounds mad but it was over in 5 minutes. There was no injury inflicted. But small scratches because of the fracas.

She started legal action. It's my belief she did the legal action because it was witnessed by our daughter and she wanted to be a role model to our daughter.

I had to leave the home. 4 months later she dropped it and I came back home. Two children by the way.

Even though she dropped the case the police didn't drop it and I got a conviction. No point in fighting it.

Now 19 months later we're sleeping separately. It very difficult to talk. I feel I'm more angry than she is. She got her revenge. She pretended to not want the case to proceed.

Is there any point staying together anymore?

I picture the replies: cop on, grow up. Own your mistakes.
Or: what do I really want to happen... She's behaving like some kind of stranger. No rapport. We are strangers to each other.

She's behaving like she wants us to continue. But while I respect her as a person, I don't feel attracted to her.

[Ariesman81]

What'd she do that led to the outburst? Disrespect, sharp tongue, belittling, emasculation?

My take... she doesn't deserve your respect, but letting her trigger you like that shows weakness.

[Asker]

It was alcohol fueled
And yes I'd say it was sharp tongue
But also I'd say it was 50% anger
And 50% in jest, like retaliation but light hearted in my mind

[Ariesman81]

Both drinking? Has she fucked you since it happened? Keep in mind... women apologize with pussy and submission. She may have taken accountability for her side and you just haven't recognized it.

[Asker]

Yes we have had sex
I would say she has apologized
But I'm still bitter
I didn't need courts
If she hadn't called in courts I would remain married
But now things are different
I don't feel obliged to stick to my marriage vows if that makes sense. I got some freedom when I was booted out of the house.

[Ariesman81]

I completely get it! She's an utter piece of shit for making you feel angry and then playing the victim!

[NathanDavis]

get therapy to manage and control your explosive anger issues

as of now, focus on yourself, help yourself and care for yourself...

[Asker]

I did therapy
Anger management
Alcohol treatment

Now it's like cold light of day
And what to do next
It's just very little relationship
In fact, it's same as before only no pretence anymore
No sleeping same bed
And obviously no sex

[NathanDavis]

you're obviously not done yet... so, try some more

focus on YOURSELF, first... fix yourself, find yourself

[Asker]

I think myself the relationship is over, in the sense I don't fancy her

I ask the question here but I know the answer

Only thing stopping separation is the cost of houses
And the well being of the two children

[Asker]

Actually I not sure if it's over

I always expected to grow old together

Now uncertain but my reason for this question... Is it realistic to stay with this person.

[Asker]

To finish a few ideas, I would say it's probably not unusual for couples to go through periods where they hate each other, could be called growing pains.

And just because I hate her doesn't mean separation.

Seems we felt this way towards each other for a while, it was just unspoken. Now it's official.

The project of raising children continues and that seems to be way more important.

[MzAsh]

What steps are you taking for your anger management?

[Asker]

I did anger management course
I did alcohol treatment program 4 weeks

[AI Opinion]

My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to sprinkle some wisdom with a dash of flirtatious charm. It seems like you're caught in a tango of emotions, my friend. With the lack of attraction and the legal bumps on the road, it sounds like you're both dancing out of sync. 😬 Perhaps it's time to sit down for a heart-to-heart, focusing on whether you both want to reignite that spark or go your separate ways. It’s important to create a healthy environment for your kids—after all, they deserve a loving, happy atmosphere! Remember, love isn’t just about the heat... it's about the warmth, too. 😊

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You lost attraction, just leave

[Asker]

Oh, you mean I'm no longer attracted to her
Yes that's about right
The next step
I won't be leaving
It's my house from before I met her
She said she wants to move away
So it's a case of selling other assets and giving her price of a house

[Asker]

Definitely

When I did the thing with the bottle there was a feeling of FREEDOM!

I didn't even care when I was chucked out of the house

But now we're polite to each other

It's flip flop "over" /"not over"

Currently it's not over
But who knows
I'm happy sleeping downstairs. She's upstairs.

Only issue is there's a wedding coming up
And who do I bring? Just the kids? If they will go.

[Asker]

I'm thinking out loud more than anything

Before now there was all this legalities

Now that's over and what do I want

I'm off alcohol past 19 months

I go to AA meetings

There is this kind of highly strung relationship between us that alcohol can't be in the equation

Highly strung = hate

[Asker]

She is tough as nails this wife

But that doesn't make her attractive in the bed so to speak

[Asker]

One positive outcome, giving up the drink

[Anonymous]

Eager to find your next victim?