I know he don’t mean it but how do I tell him?

[Anonymous]

I’m in a new relationship, been with him for about 8 months now and honestly he is a blessing. He’s not like any man that I’ve been with before, he treats me great and I couldn’t ask for a better boyfriend.

however…. In the bedroom he’s not satisfying me the way I would like him to.

for a bit of background before he got with me he had not had intercourse for years maybe just under 10 years so that could explain a lot…

when we started having intercourse I expected it considering he hadn’t had any in a very long time but 6 months later and he’s still finishing really fast. Not that he’s intentionally being selfish but from my previous partners they had always at least tried or waited till I finished before they did.

He will finish and then even fall asleep. And I mean what a way to give a big head 😂 but that’s not what I need.

How do I explain this to him? Or drop it so I don’t knock his self esteem or hurt his feelings?

[NamerOfStars]

Your needs aren't being met- this isn't a minor issue you should let drop. It's definitely something you should've brought up before, but you didn't, and that can't be changed.

So', what's to be done? Well, you may benefit from an indirect approach here: if he can't do the job with penetration, have him use his fingers or tongue- they don't have to be limited to foreplay, and if he loses interest or drops off after he ejaculates, then he can do you first, and then you him.

If you fear his feelings being hurt, then don't phrase as "By the way, you've never sexually satisfied me"; opt for a "There's something I'd like to try in bed", and suggest one of them. If he balks, let him know you're willing to try something new for him, if he'd like (and it needn't be right then, either, if he doesn't have anything ready; one of the nice things about relationship sex is that everything doesn't have to be done then and there). Then, when he does it, if it's working, play it up a little- don't fake anything, but let him see and hear that it's getting results. Do that- especially if you're not usually very sexually expressive- and he'll like it, and be more willing to do it again.

That way, you can get what you need without making him feel bad. Win-win.

[Abbycado]

If you’ve been with him for the better part of a year and can’t communicate this to him, you have bigger issues.

[Asker]

Ouch! But can’t knock you there your right!

[Abbycado]

Work on that communication. It’s important. You need to be able to talk about stuff.

[Nikki1989]

You need to work on your communication. Something is way off here.

[AI Opinion]

Hey lovely, tackling these steamy topics is my specialty! 😉 You're handling it just right by being considerate of his feelings. Try starting a convo outside the bedroom, when you're both relaxed, and keep it light and flirty. Voicing your desires can be playful. Maybe suggest exploring what pleases both of you and make it a team effort. After all, communication is your best friend in keeping the sparks flying! 💥 Remember, his ego is like an egg; handle with care! 😉❤️

[Adel50]

Just tell him what you told us.