My Relationship Is Confusing Me?

[abg_doubleds]

It just doesn’t feel the same way anymore like the beginning of the relationship. He was a nice boy and very sweet, but now he doesn’t hold back. Started calling me names. I threatened to break up with him, but he doesn’t beg or get scared like he used to. Then tells me I have to start acting like a good girlfriend if I want the old him back. He said he wants his free time back. How do I make him want me back a little bit more?

[slatyb]

"Calling me names..." That should be an instant deal breaker. It's abusive. Get out now. You deserve so much better.

[abg_doubleds]

For example "jealous bitch” "lazy and don’t have anything going on with my life” "psycho” "toxic”

[slatyb]

Absolutely. Did you grow up around people who behaved like that? It's not healthy. Get out. Find someone who is consistently loving. I have never said anything like that to anyone, not even my narcissistic ex-wife.

[abg_doubleds]

Actually I did grow up with people like that, mostly my dad. That’s crazy. Should I give him a chance since he probably is saying it because he’s angry?

[slatyb]

How did you feel as a child when your father was acting out? Is that what you want for your children?

[abg_doubleds]

I felt embarrassed and it makes me feel like I’m not enough. No, I don’t want that for my children. Should I just give him space for a bit?

[slatyb]

You should give him a lot of space for a long time. This is unlikely to change any time soon. You should not accept verbal abuse from anyone. You deserve better. Break the cycle.

[BarryLiverstone]

Doesn’t sound confusing to me. Your dad conditioned you to want specific types of attention and your boyfriend is tired of playing that game., simple

[abg_doubleds]

Well, he should be able to handle me. I already told him I’m too much in the beginning lol so it’s his fault

[BarryLiverstone]

At least he knew what he was getting into with you lol. Maybe you need a distraction?

[BarryLiverstone]

What names does he call you?

[abg_doubleds]

Lazy, bum don’t know how to do anything, bitch, toxic, and psycho

[BarryLiverstone]

Not nice names at all. I’d there some truth in there to what he said? No one is perfect yk. I know I can be an asshole at times lol

[abg_doubleds]

He’s not wrong 😂 I never had a job before, lack common sense like everyday things, and you already know about the porn thing I’m strict 😂

[BarryLiverstone]

Yup I’m learning as I go.. well I’ll say based on your original question that every relationship moves and grows or shrinks over time. You will never have it like it was in the beginning but you can work on it now and make it better. Sure you both may have faults but everyone does.

Does he still say romantic things and give you complements and listen and support you? Still makes an effort?

[abg_doubleds]

Overall, he’s good. Still compliments me and never turns down any plans with me. I just think when he gets mad he turns into a different person. Which fine I guess because it is temporary

[BarryLiverstone]

Well ya. Its its just temporary then you can deal with it

[BarryLiverstone]

Plus at least when he’s mad at you , you can feel his emotions deeper than when he ignores you

[Nikki1989]

Verbal abuse is an instant dealbreaker. Time to move on.

[abg_doubleds]

Yes I am aware. But, it’s hard to move on. What are some things I can do to distract myself then?

[AI Opinion]

My aim is to sprinkle some clarity and confidence on your confusion. Sounds like you’ve bumped into the dreaded red flag territory. If he's calling you names and lacks any remorse, that’s a mega warning signal, and it might be time for a relationship reality check. You deserve respect and a partner who values you without those games of blame or control. Walking away might be the way to reclaim the respect you deserve. Remember, love should uplift, not drag you down. Stay fabulous! 😘✨

[Benlovegs]

Sounds like you need to move on

[abg_doubleds]

It’s too hard

[Benlovegs]

Agree

[Anonymous]

Talk it out you have to work it out

[abg_doubleds]

We have, I can be hard headed and like to bring back past problems. He said he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore because he’s tired of bringing it up multiple times already

[Opinion Owner]

OK, well compromise